I bite my bottom lip, really unsure of what to say. How do you tell someone they aren’t worthless when that’s what they truly believe? How do you tell someone that failing doesn’t mean you quit, that failing is just a stepping stone to achieving what you want in life?
I know I could easily say all of that to Reid, but he wouldn’t listen. I know him. He’s so set in his beliefs that anything I say in this moment will go in one ear and out the other.
So instead of trying to fix how he sees himself, I need to help him see himself the way I do: strong, loyal, and caring.
“I don’t think about it that way.” I sit up so I can look him in the eye. Instead of shying away, he brings his hand to my cheek and rubs his thumb across my face. I lean into his touch, into his wide, large hand. “I see you as a man who went for his dreams, a man who loves his family, who adores his friends, who strives to help his town, and who continues to move forward despite his setbacks.”
“You see all that?” he asks, a lazy smile dragging across his face.
“Yes, I do.”
“Nothing else? Nothing at all?”
And just like that, Reid ends the serious conversation and deflects with humor as he thrusts his hips toward me. For a brief moment, it makes me sad because I wanted to dive into his feelings, to move past the thin veil of sarcasm the two of us seem to depend on. But I shouldn’t expect anything else when it comes to Reid; I should be grateful for the small moment he just gave me, even if it barely skimmed the surface of the complex man he is beneath all the humor.
And I don’t want to be that girl, that girl who tries to pry every last feeling out of him or who spends morning and night attempting to “fix” him. It will only drive us apart. We are so new, just trying to figure everything out, and I don’t want to ruin that by trying to dive too deep right off the bat.
But I will be the girl who tries to show him his worth, because he is worth so much more than what he believes.
“Are you done with the innuendos?” I smile despite myself.
“Just want to make sure you acknowledge my dick.”
He’s so ridiculous. I’ve never in my life met a man more obsessed with his penis than Reid Knightly. At least he has a good reason for the obsession.
I reach down and cup him, pulling a hiss from between his teeth. “Don’t worry, I’ll always acknowledge your dick.”
“Damn right.”
He rolls me onto my back, and with a perfect almost-evil grin, he moves down my body and parts my legs. I sink into the mattress and catch my breath as Reid presses his mouth against me, one possessive kiss at a time.
CHAPTER NINE
REID
Why do all these candles smell like burnt ass?
I put the brown three-wick back on the shelf, pick up a jar of coffee beans, and take a big whiff. According to Melanie, the owner of Sticks and Wicks, coffee beans cleanse your nose so you can have a clear sniff of the next candle. I was skeptical at first, but after “cleansing” the first go-around, I became a supporter of the beans.
I like Melanie. She’s a sweet girl, but after spending ten minutes sniffing candles while she interjected with facts about every last ingredient used in the wax, I thanked her for the coffee beans but told her I needed some privacy to sniff on my own. I couldn’t care less what’s in the candle—I just need it to smell good.
Visiting Sticks and Wicks is the last thing I want to fucking do right now, but I know Eve really likes candles, and since the harbor carries a pretty dangerous old-man-ballsac smell sometimes, I thought it might be beneficial to get some scented candles for the houseboat in case the smell of the harbor bothers her. Not that she’s said anything, but I like to be preventative.
And you know, candles set the mood and shit.
Setting the mood means sex.
Sex with Eve is out of this goddamn world. And I would obviously like more of it, so this means candles.
I’m buying all the fucking candles.
If I happen to find a candle I like, maybe I’ll get one for her too. That’s what boyfriends do: buy crap for their girl. Plus, it’s buy one, get one half-off in the store, and Daddy loves a good BOGO. I spotted the sale ad in the newspaper when I was scanning it for anything about Eve and me. Luckily, my family members have kept their mouths shut. Surprising, since Brig has sent me texts every day “gushing” about my newfound relationship.
Pretty sure he’s trying to live vicariously through me.
Weirdly, I let him and give him details that his “nipples get hard” over. He and his goddamn hard nipples. Such a fucking weirdo.
I pick up a green candle, liking the color, and glance at the label—Flannel.
Huh, interesting.
How does one capture the smell of flannel? In my head, it’s going to smell like a man who’s been chopping up wood for two hours.
Tentatively, I pop open the lid and take a deep breath.
Big mistake.
“Oh fuck.” I cringe and put the candle right back where I found it while blowing air out of my nose, trying to expel the scent. Clutching the coffee beans, I bury my nose inside the mason jar and reconsider the whole candle thing. Flannel just about singed every hair in my nose.
“Reid?”
Crap. Spotted.
Turning on my heel, coffee beans still clutched to my chest, I find Ren, Griff’s girlfriend, with a small basket in hand and a confused look on her face. I don’t blame her; I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m caught in the newspaper tomorrow with the headline Abnormal Spotting: Loser Knightly Sniffing Candles with the subtitle Has He Finally Hit Rock Bottom?
I give her a small wave and then stick my hand in my pocket, all of a sudden feeling awkward as fuck. “Uh, hey, Ren. What’s up?”
“Hey, I’ve never seen you in here before.” With a conspiratorial look, she says, “Trying to avoid your dad again?”
It’s a known fact Ren is obsessed with Sticks and Wicks. Griffin has bought her so many things from this quaint little shop, which is nestled in the heart of Main Street. It’s full of candles, incense, and all good-smelling things, so you’re likely to find any number of Knightly women perusing the stock on any given day, which I should have taken into consideration when coming in here.
“I’m always avoiding my dad, but this time I thought, you know, I might check out some candles.”
She glances over my shoulder. “You tried Flannel?”
“Pretty sure they captured twelve pairs of sweaty balls and added a hint of mint to it.”
“That’s quite accurate.” She walks up to me and bops me on the nose. “You’ve got a good sniffer. You’re in the wrong area, though. These are on sale for a reason. No one ever buys them.” She takes my arm. “Come on, I’ll show you the good stuff.”
“But is the good stuff included in the sale from the newspaper?”
She winks at me. “The ad didn’t specify, so when you go to check out, tell Melanie, and she’ll have to honor it.”
“You know, Ren, I don’t think we hang out enough.”
She throws her head back as she laughs and guides me to the left of the store, where all the candles are color coordinated. I didn’t come over here because it looked too fancy. “I’m pretty sure Griffin would hate it if we hung out more.”