I reach for his hand, but he takes a step back. And that’s when the hairs on the back of my neck rise, a shiver of anxiety passing through me.
“That’s what I need to talk to you about.” He lets out a deep breath, sticks his hands in his pockets, and stares at the ground. “I think we should, you know, maybe take a break or something.”
My heart hitches in my chest, and my entire body goes still. Did I just hear him correctly? Take a break? That can’t be right. Just last night we were making promises about the perfect date before the soft opening. What happened between then and now? What’s made him do this about-face?
“A break?” I glance around. “Is this some kind of weird joke you’re playing on me? Because I really don’t find it funny.”
“Fuck,” he mutters, turning away. “It’s not a joke. I need to focus on the restaurant. I won’t have time to spend on you, and you should focus on yourself too. Finish up school, get Knight and Port ready, train with my dad. There’s no time for us.”
“There’s time if you make time. It doesn’t need to be one or the other.”
“I can’t have both.” He turns back around, his jaw firmly set. “I can’t manage both, and in the end, I’m just going to disappoint you—like I’ve been disappointing you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Come on, Eve,” he says, his curt, condescending tone lashing me right in the heart. “You can’t say our relationship has been easy.”
“It’s not supposed to be easy,” I shoot back. “If a relationship is easy, then you haven’t broken the surface of the emotions that make someone the person they are. We’ve had our ups and downs, but every relationship does; that’s what makes you stronger.”
“It’s only going to get worse. Don’t kid yourself.”
“Why? Why do you think it’s going to get worse? Because you’re taking on a new responsibility? Because you’re starting something new? Of course it’s going to be stressful and hard at times, but that’s why you have me—to lean on.”
“I know you think I can be a better man, the man you deserve, but I know that’s bullshit,” he snaps. “People can’t change. I can’t change.”
Caught off guard at his abrupt confession, I take a step back, my feet aching from my long shift. “I don’t want you to change. I like you for the man you are.”
A sarcastic laugh pops out of him as he looks down and shakes his head. “You’re delusional then.”
“Excuse me?”
He doesn’t answer; instead, he jumps to the last thing I expected to hear tonight. “Might as well end it now before I fuck up the restaurant and hurt you even more.”
“End it? Now we’re breaking up? I thought you just wanted to take a break.”
“They’re the same fucking thing.” He tosses his hand up in frustration.
“So.” I take a deep breath. “You’re breaking up with me because you think that’s what’s best . . . for the restaurant.”
“Yes, and for you. For everyone. This way we’re not sneaking around; we’re not getting distracted. You focus on your shit—I’ll focus on mine.”
“Oh, how nice. Should we high-five in passing too? Just drop all the feelings we’ve developed, and go back to just being friends?”
“Sure,” he says, the sarcasm starting to build in his voice. “If that’s what you want, I’ll hand out a high five here and there.”
I push at his shoulder. “Don’t be an ass. Don’t use that to push me away right now.”
“I’m not using it—it’s who I am. You should know that by now. You’ve known me for over a decade. What you see is what you get.”
“That’s a lie.” I step closer to him, my breath misting through the air between us. “That’s a lie, and you goddamn know it. You’re not the irritable prick you like to make yourself out to be, the one you showcase for the world. You’re a beautiful soul with a loving heart and a caring mind. This guy who’s standing in front of me, he’s not the Reid I know. He’s just a placeholder for the man I love.”
His eyes widen right before he shakes his head and casts his eyes down again. “You don’t love me, Eve.”
“Don’t tell me how I feel.” I step closer, giving him no choice but to meet my eyes. “If I say I love you, then I freaking love you, and you need to accept that.”
He runs his tongue along his lips. “I think you need to accept that, yeah, we know how to fuck, and that’s been good, but in the long run we’re not compatible.” I reel back from the verbal slap to the face he just delivered.
We know how to fuck? Yes, the physical chemistry has been a huge plus when it comes to Reid, but it’s not why I chose him, why I still choose him, why I love this man standing in front of me, the one purposefully trying to break my heart.
I love Reid because he challenges me, because he’s a roller coaster. He gives me highs and lows, he keeps me guessing, he shows me that life isn’t about walking around wearing rose-colored glasses. There’s defeat, there’s sorrow, and there are moments of utter clarity that mold you.
And even though I don’t truly want to admit this, and I would probably never say this to Reid, I sense his need, like he needs my spirit, my thoughts, my mind. I took care of my parents, and even though it was devastating to watch them slowly fade away, it filled a hole in my heart I never knew I had: the urge to take care of someone. Reid considers himself a burden on me, but he isn’t—in fact, he fills a part of my soul that’s been gaping ever since I lost my parents.
“How could you say we’re not compatible? Don’t you see how well we fit together?”
Growling, he rakes both his hands through his hair. “This is over, and the sooner you understand that, the better.”
Like a knife to the chest, his words stab me, cutting me to my very core. “You don’t mean this. What about last night; what about our plans? What about me being the girl for you? Where did all that go?”
He casually shrugs. “Sometimes you can’t have it all.”
He takes a step back, and my heart lurches. “Reid, don’t do this. Talk to me.”
“Nothing to talk about, Eve. It’s over.”
“Just like that? You’re just calling it?”
He reaches for the door handle of his truck. “Someone has to be smart about this.”
“You think you’re being smart? Okay, genius, tell me how you expect us to work together with this heartbreak hanging between us?”
He glances at me, his blue eyes flashing with confidence, though not for him . . . but for me. “You’re a professional, Eve. I know you’ll be able to handle it.”
With that, he gets in his truck, and it roars to life. Without a backward glance, he takes off, leaving me and my bruised, battered heart in the parking lot of my apartment building.
You’re a professional, Eve.
That’s what I keep telling myself over and over again as I stand next to Reid, the scent of his cologne hitting me in the gut, the warmth of his arm so close to mine that if I step an inch to the left, our skin will be touching.