“I’ll sign whatever transfer slip you give me then.” I swallowed hard. “Just let me know whenever.”
He leveled me with his brown eyes, giving nothing more than a nod before letting the door close behind him. He left me to my thoughts without another word, and I suppose I’d gotten exactly what I wanted.
I guess just remember that.
Chapter Thirteen
Bri
I was late for the meeting Evie had suggested I go to that evening.
A bereavement group.
Actually, I’d gotten there on time but simply hadn’t been brave enough to go inside.
Instead, I watched from outside the class doors, waiting until the next group, Coping with Change.
This one seemed better suited. So after that wrapped, I made my way inside, tugging off my coat and taking a seat. They had a podium up front, and I very much intended to make myself blend in. I most assuredly wouldn’t be talking and definitely didn’t want to be there. I figured I’d sit back, relax, and see what these people had to say.
Evie: Did you go? How was it?
I decided to pocket my phone and respond after this class. That way, when I gave my friend a response, it wouldn’t technically be a lie.
God, I was still lying to her. In a different way, but lying, nonetheless. She wanted to help me, and I had actually come to the building.
Even if I hadn’t gone inside.
I sat within the seating arrangement with a shaking leg, my wool coat on top as I circulated my gaze around. I found myself rather happy that I opted not to eat dinner before coming. I’d thought about it since I was fresh out of work and after that long drive, but when I’d stopped home, I’d simply showered before putting on a pair of jeans and a casual top. I’d had just enough time to get downtown, then park in front of the building in Maywood Heights’s capitol district. Of course, everyone working had already gone home, the evening settling into a quiet chill, and I had managed not to trip outside on the ice this time.
I should leave. I should definitely leave.
My confidence was quickly leaving me the longer I sat, and even though this was only a group meeting about trying to deal with change, I wasn’t quite sure I was ready to deal with my changes. I could win the award for avoidance these days.
To fill the time before starting, I pulled out my phone, playing a game with jewels. I exploded a few before tossing my head back and shoving my phone into my purse. I shot up out of my chair.
“Sorry.”
My head jerked up, nearly colliding into someone with my coat in my arms and my purse on my shoulder. I’d wimped out, trying to leave.
But then him.
Ramses picked up the program I’d dropped. Ramses was standing in front of the aisle with his coat on and his cheeks flushed like he himself had just rushed over here. He had snow in his hair, a white mist on those ebony brown locks. He handed out my program. “You dropped this… looks like.”
What the fuck?
But there he stood. Again in my life after I, once more, tossed him out of it just today. I idly wondered if this would keep happening, since we both obviously frequented the same towns. But really, this shouldn’t be happening. There were more than two people who lived in Maywood Heights and even more who frequented Pembroke’s campus.
And yet, here we were.
I swallowed, taking it. “Thank you?”
A question to it, because well, what the fuck?
His hand now free, Ramses brushed the snow out of his hair before eyeing the empty seat I hovered over. He pointed toward it. “This, uh, taken or are you leaving?”
I was leaving. I should leave.
Instead, I opted to stand there like a loon. I think mostly due to shock and Ramses took my silence for, well, I didn’t know what for, but he crossed in front of me.
He completely bypassed the seat he’d eyed and without a word, sat himself down in the one next to it. He immediately took the next steps to make himself comfortable, taking off his scarf and coat, then placing it there on the seat beside his chair without a word. He literally didn’t speak to me, fisting his hands before resting them on the chair ahead. Eventually, he passed a look over to me who was still standing there.
“You going to sit?” He eyed me, actually curious. His eyebrows furrowed in—tight. “Though, I am quite curious why you’re continuing to stalk me.”
Me stalk him?
I chortled, barking a laugh before righting with my stuff. “I’m not stalking you.”
“Sure.” His eyes twinkled now; his fingers laced. He glanced at the seat beside him. “Well, are you going to sit?”
No, and I showed him that when I exited out of the aisle. By then, the room had basically completely filled, but I made it only about halfway to the door before a woman in jeans and a beanie hat closed it. She was middle-aged, gray and brown curls under her hat, and pulling off her gloves, she looked at me. “Oh, you’re a new face. You joining us today, sweetie?”
Well, fuck.
But before I could fight her, she was guiding me back toward the chairs, telling me her life story and how nice this group was. She also said she hoped I’d participate and after literally walking me toward the front of the room, deposited me maybe a row or two behind Ramses.
I plopped down with basically a plop as the woman smiled at me.
“We’re about to begin,” she said. “Happy to have you.”
I forced my own smile through gritted teeth. I was here now, so I obviously couldn’t leave.
I placed my coat down as I watched the woman waddle her way up toward the front of the room, about to curse then growl when I noticed shaking shoulders ahead.
I caught Ramses mid-glance as he faced forward, the jerk laughing and clearly at me. Call it a freaking feeling, his head going back as he crossed his legs then placed his hands on his knee.
“Welcome to Coping with Change,” the woman who seated me said, grinning at the crowd. “This is a very easy going group, and I hope we can all help each other. We have a lot of new faces today, so let’s start by saying our names. How about you first over there? We spoke before. Would love to know a bit about who you are. Happy to have you.”
All gazes navigated in my direction and Ramses, well, completely turned around. He’d also gone casual today, his band t-shirt cuffing hard over his shoulders as he rested a thick arm on the back of his chair. He actually looked his age today, a typical college guy in his well-worn jeans.
He passed me that Ramses’s grin, dashing his eyebrows in my direction to tell these strangers all about myself.
Shaking my head, I faced the room, making my name and occupation known but quickly. After that, they moved on and I didn’t miss those large shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Ramses got great satisfaction out of my discomfort.
I shrunk in my chair.
I tried not to the whole meeting, but all this was terribly awkward even if I hadn’t run into the guy I’d slept with, who was also my student and my friend’s son.
I wrestled with my coat above a rocking knee, only partially listening to everyone going around and sharing. I found myself distracted by the guy not two rows in front of me, the one paying complete attention like he was in class.
Ramses listened to everyone’s stories. He mentioned nothing about himself but did participate with the other’s in the group. In fact, he’d engaged a lot with them, in that social way and that gift of the gab he had. He was still doing the appeasing thing he did, clearly. I’d seen it on more than one occasion with myself. The last time he’d made me look at him. Just look at him to calm down.