Ramses proved to be a man of the world, and this little slice he had of it ended up in his office.
His display was very simple in there: a Mac, large granite desk, and a couch. The couch actually had blankets on it.
“Sorry,” he apologized immediately upon getting inside. He grabbed and quickly balled up the blanket. “I slept here last night. I was in the city to prepare for the charity event. Decided to do some work here in the studio. Never left as you can see.”
He had nothing to apologize for. I liked his dedication. This, what he was doing here, seemed like it should be his full-time job, but I understood his obligations to his family. Sometimes our calling didn’t always match with what was predetermined for us. But kudos to him for trying to find a balance between both.
“You promised me a story,” I said once we got inside. “I come with you here, check all this out, and I get a story.”
I wasn’t sure I was quite prepared for this story, but I did still care about him even if we weren’t friends. I cared about him as a person, and that seemed obvious. I shouldn’t, but I did.
I also shouldn’t be here with him and I knew that, but that didn’t stop me. I truly did care about this guy.
Stupid, I knew.
I had a feeling he cared about me too. I mean, he showed me all this first, and he did have friends. It was the friend I’d been curious about, but I’d been neither bold enough nor brave enough to push him on what had happened after I’d left. I just wanted to make sure he was okay regarding that situation.
Then you leave.
The only reason I stayed now. I gave myself a mental out. He’d tell me what happened with her. I’d find out he was okay, and then I could leave.
A messy fold and Ramses tossed that blanket on the couch, and in a quick, but also surprising action, he picked up a remote on his granite desk.
Soft tunes drifted into the room, easy listening hip hop beats. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was trying to seduce me.
He opened his hands, waving them for me to come to him, and I thought he was. He frowned. “Come to me.”
“Why?”
“Just come.” He sighed, but still kept his hands out. “This is some awkward shit I’m about to tell you about, and I need the distraction.” His head lowered. “Dance with me and distract me. Please?”
Dance with him.
I suppose it was the please that did it.
And maybe the big brown puppy dog eyes.
He’d even placed his lip out, making me laugh, so of course, I came. I stopped just before. “No funny business.”
He appeared offended. “Funny business? Me? I’d never.”
My eyes lifted, but I did give him my hands. His form was fine, so he’d obviously done this before. He spun me out, and when I came back, we slowed into something a bit closer. I quickly realized it was because he didn’t want me to look at him.
How had he gotten so shy?
How had we gotten like this? Together again?
I fingered his lapel, my head rested on his chest, and I closed my eyes. The beauty of this was he couldn’t see my eyes either.
He had me vulnerable, too, in this moment, enjoying him, this with his arm around me. He folded our fingers together, and his jaw touched my hair.
“I told her,” he whispered. “I put everything out there.”
The sway threatened to stop, but I refused to allow it. I swallowed. “You told her your feelings?”
He told her he was in love with her?
Because that was what I really meant. He had been in love with her.
Was he still?
Why did it matter?
I stayed in heated silence, my entire body buzzing but only with nerves. I wasn’t sure I could handle what he’d tell me next.
Because if he said he was in love with her…
It did matter. It mattered to me, and though I wasn’t woman enough to say it out loud, I did think it. I cared if he was still in love with his first love.
Even if I didn’t want to.
He spun me again, but this time, he didn’t hide his eyes. This time, he made me face him, a beautiful god in a man’s body. A young man straddling the same line, but I was the only one who felt sophomoric in this moment, young.
Ramses’s hand formed around mine. “I did tell her my feelings. I told her a lot of things.”
“Like?”
He angled me around again, and when I returned, he pressed his lips close to my ear. “My feelings for you.”
My head jerked up, eyes narrow. “What?”
He… what?
“My feelings for you,” he emphasized, as if it didn’t mean anything.
As if it didn’t mean everything.
He kept me in a gentle sway, studied the effect of those words. His lips parted. “I told her about those feelings, and yeah, I told her other things. How there were feelings directed toward her, too. In the past.”
In the past.
“She basically already knew, but those didn’t seem so significant,” he said, shaking his head. “Not, well, after the other thing. They were the main things, so the others weren’t significant.”
Why was he saying this? Voicing this to me. I swallowed. “Ramses—”
“You asked me about the change of heart.” He studied my eyes. “Why I changed.”
I had but hadn’t known what I asked. It wasn’t until after I’d voiced it, when it was too late, and it became this.
Ramses blinked so slow, and pulling me close, he eased my hair away from my eyes. “I’m tired of being the one who gets in my own way,” he said, his throat constricting. “I’ve done it for years. I avoid and don’t deal with shit.”
I did too, how we met and connected. It wasn’t unknown to either of us. “I—”
His mouth dropped down in a breath, a charged pulse as he forced my lips apart. I hadn’t tasted him since his friend’s wedding night.
And God.
God, how he tasted, how he felt and smelled. He gathered my face and tugged my lip between his teeth, no chance of escape. There was no place to run. There was only him and me.
My mouth burned with a bruising kiss, and though he took what he wanted, he didn’t stay long.
He retreated with another breath, husky as he dragged his thumb across my mouth. His digit came away red, his lips the same. My lipstick hadn’t held up.
“Now, I can say I did everything I could when it came to this, you and me.” He nodded. “That I acted with no regrets.” He looked up. “Just like I did when I bought this place.”
His words made me emotional. Like I actually wanted to cry. He wouldn’t let me be a regret.
“I want you to be my girl. My girlfriend.” He smiled a little. “Whatever you want to call it, I want it. And I know what you said—”
I hooked an arm around his neck, stealing his lips before he both said and did more things that scared me. I didn’t want him to be a regret. And though, he may be one in the morning…
He wouldn’t be one now.
I kissed him, hungry, angry. I was angry.
Why did he have to ruin things? Break me down.
I was so damn vulnerable with him, but clearly, I wasn’t at the same place he was. It was enough to be here and in this moment.
And at the present, it seemed like enough.