I touched a forehead to his shoulder. “I’m glad you told me.”
The smile tugging his lips widened. He angled his head back. “I’m glad I did too. Made me feel better. Go figure. Talking.”
That same smile pulled at my lips as well, his hair rough against my fingertips. “But you know you didn’t have to, right? You never have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”
I’d never make him, nor expect it. Our problems were our own, and we didn’t have to share them.
The water shifted as he rose from the bath, inch after inch of hard body. He captured me in between his solid arms, his wet fingers gliding through my hair. The first thing I’d done was tug my hair down, the tips wet.
Ramses followed them down, looping around a lock before tipping my chin. He framed my face, guiding me to face him.
“I will tell you anything you want to know about me,” he said, eyes scanning mine. “I’m an open book when it comes to you. I told you I want to try.”
And so that fear returned, that hesitance. His reason for telling me this and being open. We’d never had that relationship before, not without frenzy or backed by fear. He told me things when he was scared. Not when he had control.
It told me something about him, where he was and where I was. It told me he was open. That he was willing to try like he said.
He tilted my head forward to touch his mouth. “I want you to know me. Everything, Brielle.” He lifted my head. “I told you, no regrets.”
No regrets. No fear.
If only it were that easy.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Bri
When Ramses texted about drinks tonight with his friends, I almost dropped my phone.
Which was why he immediately followed up that said drinks would be at a friend’s house—in private.
Ramses: It was December’s idea. She wants to meet you without being in a towel *grin emoji*
Which meant he’d talked about us… fine. She already knew, but now, it sounded like more than one friend would too.
So, then he sent another text.
Ramses: Stop freaking out because I know you’re freaking out. This is an intimate gathering. You and me, December and Royal, and their friends, Knight and Greer. Yes, they are all students at the university. No, they won’t say anything. You know, I told December because I can trust her. Well, she told her friends because she can trust them. None of them talk to my mom. We’re good.
Ramses: Anything else? *smile emoji*
This had all been sent without a response from me and told me epically how much he got me. It told me severely how much he knew me…
Without really knowing me.
I still guarded a lot of my heart from him, even when he had opened up that night in the bath. I was aware of this and planned to work at it. I did want him to know everything about me too.
It was just hard for me.
Spilling my secrets didn’t just tell him but made me face them when I didn’t want to. I did a good job of burying them deeply.
Ramses reminded me on the daily, no pressure. He wouldn’t pressure me but wanted me to know he was open.
He made it so easy to be with him, trust him, so I did agree to go have drinks with his friends. As it turned out, they’d be held on campus at December’s place. We’d be near his, right next door.
The event was BYOB, and in addition, we’d been assigned sweets duty. The others were bringing finger foods as well.
I had no problem with that, and Ramses took us both by the grocery store after I got out of work and he finished his classes.
I’d been better about us being in the same vicinity as the other when we were just out and about. Places like grocery stores were fine. Everyone shopped for food, and if we did run into someone we knew, a colleague or even his mom, we could pass off we’d run into each other.
I knew this probably sounded silly. We’d been seeing each other for over a month at this point, but with graduation (and our deadline) around the corner, I didn’t see the need to change anything. Our arrangement had been working fine, so I didn’t see the point in changing things up.
Ramses and I split up once we got to the store, assigning me to the liquor while he got the sweets. The liquor department was on the other side of the store, so we covered more ground that way. Of course, he offered to go with me, but I didn’t mind. Anyways, we could get in and out quicker.
He merely shook his head at me, knowing that was why I wanted to split up but didn’t say anything. He never did. He simply kissed me on the top of my head before parting off, and I ventured to get one half of our supplies.
The grocery store had an entire liquor wing, so actually finding what I wanted was a chore, but I found the wines I liked. I figured a dessert wine would be good with whatever Ramses got.
I’d been scanning the shelf when a girl in a short jacket and shorts sidled up beside me. It’d warmed up outside since spring had hit, but it wasn’t that warm. Her arms were full of wine coolers, and I thought she’d just grab something off the shelf next to me, but she didn’t.
“Oh my gosh, it’s totally you!” she chanted, actually giddy in her flip-flops. Again, it wasn’t that warm, but what could I say about young people. I’d caught Ramses wearing flip-flops in the snow one time to get the mail. She grinned. “Brielle Norrington?”
I stiffened immediately.
And for obvious reasons.
I’d changed my name back to my maiden name following the divorce.
But hell, if this girl knew. Why did she know?
She bounced on her thongs. “It’s totally you. Oh my god. How are you even here right now?”
I shook my head, not really knowing what to say and she giggled.
She cuffed my arm. “My dad, hell, my whole family loves your husband. He was our favorite player back in the day.”
“Ex-husband,” I squeaked, and her face immediately fell.
“Yeah, I know,” she tsked, actually tsked, like it was a shame and not the relief it’d been to leave him. I guess that part of my life had been secret. She shook me. “We were all so sorry to hear about that. Still can’t believe that. You guys were married what?”
“Over ten years.” How was I even having this conversation right now?
You have to leave.
Fight or flight back in full blown action, and perhaps she knew, her face falling.
“You guys have been through so much,” she said. “It’s a shame you both didn’t stick together. Paparazzi suck. You’d think they’d learn after Princess Di.”
I swallowed.
“Anyway, can I get a picture? My family would just…” She made a motion like her head exploded, and I felt so outside of my body I allowed this girl to tug me over and snap a selfie with me.
Like I was a circus performer.
She placed a filter on us and everything, tapping a caption before popping it on social media in front of me. She giggled. “I’m low-key freaking out right now. Just… Ah! Thank you. This is great!”
“No problem.”
She pumped her little fist before asking for a hug. One I gave her.
Because I didn’t feel anything anymore.
My life literally flashed before my eyes.
After, she hugged her wine coolers again, her smile suddenly sad. “Hope you’re doing okay. I can’t imagine. Losing a baby….” She shook her head. “Alec must have been crushed.”