“I’m glad to know you’ve been okay. That’s why I wanted you to come here and why I asked your mom to ask you. I wanted you to know I’ll always see you. I didn’t before, and I consider that one of my greatest mistakes,” he said. “I wronged you, son. Severely, and I know that now.”
“So, what now?”
“Nothing now.” He shook his head. “I’m in here. As I should be, but like you said, I won’t always be.” His head lowered. “I simply hope, one day, you’ll give me the opportunity to see you again. And if not physically, in person in whatever way you can. I’d love to see where life takes you the rest of the way. Where you and, one day, your own family takes you.”
My throat thickened, but he wouldn’t see that either. I didn’t care about what he hoped for, and this man wouldn’t see my family. Not if I had something to do with it.
But I would have a family. It would take me some place, and that was what affected me. I could see that future as strongly as I felt it. I would have it.
I swallowed as I looked at him. “You probably won’t get what you want.”
His chin lifted, his expression as if my words didn’t affect him. “That’s the thing about hope, Ramses. Even if you don’t get what you want, it pushes you on.” He smiled. “It allows you to continue on with life. Live a good life even. I may be in here, but I’ll never lose hope. I’ll never stop trying.”
He retreated back to his desk, picking up his pen as if he’d said nothing. He was always one to get the last word.
I gestured toward the guard, and they led me out, a place I never planned to see again. I’d finished my business here.
It was time I started living a life beyond hope.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Bri
My thumb caressed the ruby red petals, bright and vibrant with life. Two dozen roses and not in a vase but bundled in thick paper and secured with a bow. I signed off for them, then plucked the card from between the stems.
Sorry.
I closed my eyes, my chest visibly concaving if it could. He had no reason to be sorry for anything. I’d been the distant one.
I hugged the pretty paper to my chest, burying my face in the smell. It took me about five seconds to remember I wasn’t alone.
“Someone is either dating someone or has a secret admirer.” Evie pressed the Diet Coke to her lips, her smile wide. “And must think quite the world of you for such a lovely gift. They’re gorgeous, darling.”
My heart hurt again as I eyed the roses, smelling them once more. Evie and I’d been surprised to have our lunch date interrupted by a flower delivery girl. She’d brought the roses.
They were gorgeous, stunning and completely unnecessary.
Oh, Ramses…
I hadn’t done right by him lately. But then again, I definitely had a track record when it came to him.
I placed the roses on my desk, my sigh heavy. I rejoined my friend in the chairs reserved for my students. We ate lunch in here once or twice a week. Basically, whenever we could fit them in between our hectic schedules.
Crossing my legs, I popped a piece of apple in my mouth. “They are lovely.” I nodded. “And he does think the world of me.” He shouldn’t, but he did. I folded my arms. “It’s new.”
Of course, I still hadn’t told her. But not necessarily because Ramses and I were still waiting for graduation. I wasn’t sure if we were even heading anywhere anymore.
You’d made sure of that.
I sure had, avoiding and when we were together, tense. I’d been distant, and he’d been letting me. My MO and his. He was going to let me pull the breaks but wouldn’t let me use him as an out. He shouldn’t. If things were going to end, I needed to end this.
I just didn’t want to.
A smile to Evie’s lips as she fingered a bloom. “I should have known you were seeing someone.” She sat back. “You’ve seemed happier lately, Brielle. Brighter.”
I had for a time. When Ramses and I had been in the thick of it. In the air of it. It’d been amazing, and I’d managed to botch it up.
I squeezed my arms. “Evie…”
I so wanted to tell her, tell her everything because she deserved to know. But the conversation moved on so quick, her talking about finals and everything. Her talking about our plans for the summer and things she’d heard.
“I hear you’re stepping back a bit to do research this summer.” She grinned. “To get an article published? That’s so great, Bri. What inspired you?”
That’d been Ramses, one hundred percent. In our recent distance, I got to truly get a good hard look at myself.
And I didn’t like the person I’d become.
I didn’t like that I shelled into myself, that I pushed people away. I wanted to love life again, to take chances like him. I’d never forget how he showed me his dream. That night we made love in his art gallery, he’d been completely vulnerable with me. He told me he was taking chances. Showed me that more than once. He showed that with me, even when I’d given him every reason not to do so. Ramses was letting himself live life.
He was letting himself love.
Feeling the magnitude of that, I studied the gift on my desk, and in my silence, Evie lifted her chin.
“I see,” she said, then squeezed my arm. “I’m so happy for you. You deserve this. With all you’ve experienced…” She shook her head. “You deserve it all.”
Words for the truth tugged at my lips again, but before I could voice them Evelyn got a call. She lifted her finger, saying one second and I waved her to take it.
Crossing her legs with a smile, she turned into her call, and to give her space, I fingered the roses again. My phone buzzed in my lap, too, but I got a text message.
Ramses: How long are you going to make me wait before mentioning my gift? I’m sweating bullets here *sweating emoji*
I couldn’t help it. I grinned and put so much power into it.
Me: I got it, but it wasn’t necessary.
He sent me a smile in response, and his next message pinged quickly.
Ramses: Where are you right now?
I eyed Evie, still on her call. Whoever it was on the line seriously made her smile and I did too.
Me: Actually, with your mom. In my office. Why?
Ramses: Can you make up an excuse to leave?
Me: I could. Why?
He merely shot a smile emoji my way, asking me to come outside to my car. I felt bad about ditching Evelyn, but it turned out she’d wanted to take her call privately anyway.
“New beginnings to us both,” she said, winking at me. She covered her phone. “Enjoy your day and your roses.”
She disappeared after that, and I wondered about her new beginnings. I hoped they were good. I hoped they were everything, and though I shouldn’t have hoped for my own, I did. I found them outside, his ankles crossed and leaning against my ride looking hotter than sin.
Ramses dressed for a spring run, shorts loose and displaying his powerful thighs, arms tight and hugged across his chest. His tee gave no room to bunch, butter smooth over his pecs and thick arms. Seeing me, he pushed off the tire. He never met me at school before but directed a hand to me like he had every day.
He brought me to him, until our hips touched, and he framed my face. He kissed me like it meant nothing.