“He used to take us back all the time. That’s how Bo and Duke stayed so close. They were cradle mates—born the same week in August. My mother and Duke’s mother became close friends during their pregnancies, and they’d put the babies in the same hammock together to nap.
“Bo and Duke used to fight like wild animals as they got older. But they were best friends, too.”
“They got in a fight at the dance,” Riona tells me. “Duke was dancing with another girl.”
I roll my eyes. “I guess he’s desperate. Trying to make Bo realize that she’s jealous.”
“You think they have romantic feelings for each other?”
“I know they do. You can’t have a best friend that you’re attracted to. That’s what being in love is. It’s wanting to fuck your best friend.”
Riona laughs. “That’s all love is?”
“That’s what it should be.”
She looks up at me with those sea-glass eyes, then drops them again just as quick.
“What?” I say. “What is it?”
“I was just thinking . . . there’s a third part.”
“What?”
“You can fuck a lot of people. And anyone can be a friend. But there’s a third part to love . . . admiring the person.”
“Admiring them?”
“Yes. That’s a lot more rare. There’s only a few people I really respect.”
In this moment, I want more than anything to be one of those people. To be respected and admired by a woman like Riona is a real accomplishment. I know she doesn’t give her approval easily.
“Do you count me in that favored few?” I say, trying to keep my tone casual.
“Yes,” Riona says evenly. “I do.”
The way my chest swells up, you’d think I just won the Kentucky Derby.
“Thank you,” I say. For some reason, my throat feels tight. “You know that I think the world of you, Riona.”
“I do know that,” Riona says, her green eyes looking up at me, clear and wide. “You’re better than me at showing what you feel.”
“I think I’ve got a pretty good guess with you,” I say. Then I grin. “Most of the time, at least.”
“What am I thinking right now?” Riona asks quietly.
I know what I wish she were thinking. But I don’t know if I have the courage to ask her.
I gently touch her cheek, our faces only inches apart. Her expression is more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen before. I don’t know how I ever called this woman an Ice Queen. Riona isn’t only one thing. Once you chip past the frost, she has a whole universe inside of her.
I open my mouth to speak, but before I can say a word, Bo comes jogging up to us, red-faced and irritated.
“Shelby’s having the baby! Mom’s going over to their house to watch the boys, and I’m gonna drive them to the hospital. I’ll probably stay there in case they need anything—so Grady doesn’t have to leave.”
“What do you need me to do?” I say.
“Handle the horses. Get ‘em all fed and put away for the night.”
“Sure thing.” I nod.
“Why’d you two walk so damn far?” Bo complains, turning around to jog back to the house.
I look back at Riona, wanting to pursue our conversation. But the moment has passed.
She says, “We better hurry back, sounds like.”
“Yeah,” I say. “You’re right.”
21
Riona
Raylan and I head back to the ranch house.
We linger outside the kitchen door, both of us feeling there was more to say to one another. When Bo interrupted us, I think Raylan was about to tell me something else. After he’d already told me his family’s story.
I don’t take that lightly. That’s a secret they’ve kept for thirty years.
He told me because he trusts me. I wish there were a way to show him that I trust him, too.
But all I can say is, “Good luck with the horses.”
Raylan grins. “Thank you. When I get back, let’s have a drink together. It’s a full moon tonight. We can sit out on the deck.”
“That sounds beautiful,” I say.
I was intending to go inside and do a little more work. But I feel strangely flat, after what I discovered about Josh. It makes me feel as if the project is tainted in some way. I know that’s stupid, but it bothers me how the truth was hiding right under the data, without me seeing it. It’s like realizing there’s a crocodile floating right under the water. Even if you manage to pull it out, you don’t look at the lake in quite the same way.
I guess I’m embarrassed I didn’t see it sooner. I didn’t think much of Josh. I’m surprised he was able to fool us so long.
I expect Cal and Dante have found him by now. They’ll probably call me any minute.
Idly, I turn Raylan’s phone over in my hands, waiting for the screen to light up with the call. When it doesn’t, I set the phone down on the kitchen table and open up the laptop instead.
I’m still distracted. My brain keeps floating back to my walk with Raylan down the birch avenue.
I miss him.
That sounds so ridiculous, but it’s true. I’ve gotten so used to him being by my side almost constantly. When he goes anywhere else, I feel his absence.
Raylan has become like sunshine on my skin. Warm, comforting, enlivening. When he goes someplace else, I feel chilled and dull. Like a flower, just waiting for the sun to return.
That’s ludicrous, I know. I tell myself to shake it off and get back to work. To lose myself in charts and documents and purchase agreements, to find my pleasure in a labor like I always used to.
I can hear the house creaking and groaning as the sun sinks lower and the warmth of the day fades away. The temperature change makes the old wood contract. It almost sounds like someone walking around upstairs, though I know Raylan and I are the only ones on the property at the moment.
I hadn’t bothered to switch on the lights. Now that the sun is going down, the kitchen is becoming dim and shadowy. The laptop screen is illuminated, so I don’t really need the light to work. But I still feel an impulse to get up and flip the switch. I feel uneasy, the tiny hairs rising up on my bare arms.
Raylan’s phone buzzes on the table, startling me. I pick it up, seeing Cal’s number.
“Hey,” I say.
“Hey. I wanted to update you—we don’t have Josh.”
My stomach sinks down like an elevator. “What happened?” I ask.
“We called Uncle Oran and he said Josh hadn’t come into work today—he called in sick. So we went to Josh’s house instead. But there was nobody there. The place was a fucking mess. It was hard to tell if he’d packed up and cleared out, or if he’s just a slob.”
“His office is like that, too,” I tell Cal.
“We searched the streets to see if his car was anywhere around. Bribed his neighbor, but he said Josh left that morning at the normal time, and he hadn’t seen him come back. We’ve got eyes out anywhere we can think of . . . ”
“Did you check his girlfriend’s apartment?”