“I don’t have any live bait, but we’ll make do with what we have,” he commented, regarding the top water lures she had watched him connect to each of the poles before handing her one. He eyed her. “What is it? Need some help? Have you not been fishing before?”
“Nah, I’ve been fishing plenty. I didn’t bring gear with me because, well, I didn’t figure I would do any fishing. And I just like watching you work. I like looking at you, period.”
His gaze darkened perceptibly, sweeping her form. “Likewise, babe. Have a seat.”
When she sat down, she tested the grip and the line on the pole before casting it out. Colt sat beside her and did the same. With the lines dropped and bobbing on the top of the stream, he broke out the donuts and coffee. They ate companionably for a bit, enjoying the sunrise as the sunlight turned the world golden around them. He nudged her side with his elbow and said in a low, hushed voice, “To your right, about four o’clock.”
She shifted and smiled. A small family of mule deer were at the stream, getting their morning drink. Charmed, she sat still, watching them, not wanting to scare them off. Then she carefully withdrew her notebook and pencil from her backpack. Oblivious to everything but the man at her side and the animals, she began to sketch the picture the deer family made, holding the fishing rod between her thighs as she did so.
“I didn’t know you could draw,” Colt murmured, and his husky baritone was like a whispered caress along her spine.
God, did he turn her inside out. With a smile teasing her lips, she replied, “I bet there are lots of things we don’t know about each other, like, I’m an Aquarius. You?”
“Astrological signs? Really? I don’t buy them, but if you’re wondering about my birthday, it’s May the sixth.”
“And just how old are you, cowboy? I’m twenty-nine, and think you might be a little older. Not that it matters, but in the spirit of getting to know one another.”
“I’ll be thirty-four next May.”
“And have you ever been married?” she asked him, vastly curious about the cowboy.
“Came close once,” he said, and drew his line back in before tossing it out again.
“Did you really? If you don’t mind my asking, what happened?”
“She wanted to change me into someone I’m not. At the end of the day I knew it wasn’t right,” he said with a shrug. But his shoulders were stiff as he talked about it, like the incident still hurt him. And it made her want to cuddle him, to draw the shadows out of his eyes, and get him to smile at her again with that heart-stopping grin of his.
“At least you didn’t get all the way to the altar before you figured that out. Instead of deciding on the day of the wedding that you couldn’t go through with it.”
His slate gaze studied her with an unreadable expression. “You were left at the altar?”
“Yep. The guests were already beginning to assemble in the church. And he came into my dressing room, and told me that he couldn’t marry someone who was scatterbrained, self-absorbed with her work, and always wanted to travel—that he needed someone reliable, and I just wasn’t it. Matt never saw me, not the real me, he only saw what he wanted to.” He had hurt her in ways she rarely liked to talk about, much less remember.
“His loss is my gain. I’m sorry, though, that couldn’t have been easy. But is that something you want? Marriage, kids, the whole nine yards?”
Warmth spread through her at his words. “I do want it all. I worry though that my lifestyle might not lend itself to marriage and kids. I don’t know many men willing to follow me all over the world. And I’m not sure what type of upbringing it would be for a kid. It would take someone special to understand that I need to travel and need to go where I do. Why? You want to come away with me, cowboy?” She couldn’t keep the yearning from her voice, try as she might, or the smattering of hope from rising in her heart that he would say yes.
“It’s tempting,” he replied, not really giving anything away.
Her hope plummeted at what he left unsaid. She waved him off and tried to smile. “But not for you.”
“Avery…”
She shook her head, blinking back a sudden onslaught of moisture in her eyes. “No. You don’t have to explain. I get it. Believe me, I do. And I promise I won’t hold it against you.”
“I think you live a fascinating life that takes a lot of courage to live.”
She leaned her head against his shoulder and looked up at him. “And I happen to think you’re pretty amazing yourself.” She left out the part that if he had replied that he wanted to go with her, she would have done whatever she needed to do to keep him.
Colt lowered his face and brushed his lips over hers. The kiss was gentle, and as stirring as the man. He lifted his head, but not before pressing a kiss against her brow. They sat that way, with her head on his shoulder, their lines dropped in the gurgling stream, but linked, their hips side by side, as the day progressed.
Avery couldn’t remember the last time she had felt this calm and content. He seemed to bring it out of her, to make her stop instead of always racing ahead.
By noon, temperatures had rocketed up into the high nineties, making Avery infinitely glad she had dressed in layers. She peeled off the hoodie and flannel shirt, then cursed inwardly. She shook her head.
“What?” Colt asked.
“I forgot to put my sunscreen back in the pack.”
“As long as you didn’t forget your birth control, I think you’ll be fine.”
“Oh, that’s not a concern. I get the shot every three months. That way there’s no way I will forget it, and I’m covered. I’ve lost things out of my backpack too many times to count, and something like that is too risky,” she said, and even as she did, an image of a little boy with her eyes and sun-streaked dirty blond hair appeared in her mind.
“And when was the last time you got the shot?”
“Six weeks ago, along with my yearly pap, why? Worried you might knock me up, cowboy?” she teased, when the thought of being tied to him in that way made her heart yearn.
“It would complicate things.”
“And you don’t do complications?” she asked him.
“I didn’t say that. Relationships by their very nature are complicated.”
But he had said that—it was in his stiff countenance and the flash of fear in his eyes he covered quickly. He was a man not looking to be tied down. Avery had to be okay with that if she wanted to keep seeing him. And she did—so much, it shocked her how deep her feelings for Colt went.
Still, those feelings were something that she would keep to herself. She didn’t do rejection well, not after a lifetime of it.
“Uh-huh, well, unless your swimmers are superpowered and can work around the wiring of the birth control, I think you’re safe on that end,” she said, setting her pole down. Neither of them had caught anything. It was more about the act of slowing down, enjoying the other’s company, and the ritual of dropping a line and just being present.
She wanted to remember this time, every moment she spent with Colt.
Avery was still hot, warm enough that she decided to remove her hiking boots. She’d dip her toes in the water to help cool off a bit. She removed one boot, and set it beside her on the rocky abutment. As she pulled the second one off, she knocked the first one into the stream.