“I deserve more than a quick exit by shovel.”
“You are never going to let that die are you?”
“Not on your life.”
I held up my hands. “I’m sorry.”
“Good start.”
“Start?” I gasped. “What are you expecting?”
“What are you sorry for?”
“I think you’re expecting me to say for overreacting and insulting you, but I could have lost the thread of things. I was pretty upset and might have said other hurtful things.”
“You don’t remember?” he asked, giving me a look.
“I think I remember but there have been times I’ve said things in the heat of an argument and don’t remember. So I am covering all my bases.”
“Do you even know what covering all your bases means?”
“I assume it’s a hockey reference and the bases mean players.”
Jensen sighed and rubbed his temples. “Sure, honey.”
“Do you forgive me?” I asked.
“I do, but you better start paying attention to what you say in your fits of rage because I will expect you to apologize if they continue. There is no room for hurtful behavior without making amends and beyond that working on the problematic behavior in the first place.”
I nodded, knowing. “It’s the same as bringing baggage into a relationship.” I let my head hang for the first time since we’d got together, feeling like I didn’t deserve Jensen. He was insightful and smarter about relationships than I was. I had one serious one and I’d trusted the wrong person and stayed way past what was healthy. I didn’t even know why. I’d been so convinced Travis was the person for me, I couldn’t see all the harm he was reaping into my life.
“You’re not the only one with baggage. Everyone has baggage. To say I don’t also have baggage would be irresponsible. We all have things we bring in from our childhood and past relationships. You have to find someone you’re willing to work through your issues with.” He shrugged and held out his hand for me.
I took it and he tugged me into his lap. I set my beer aside and let him maneuver me where he wanted. “Does my baggage go well with yours?”
“You go well with me. The rest we can work out.”
I worked for two more days. Jensen had things to do. My parents were mostly fine, and I slept at home to spend some time with them because they liked to act like they didn’t live twenty minutes away. As I texted Avery off and on, it made me wonder if my parents held on top of things the way they did with Adam and me because of what Avery had done, or if they’d be like this either way.
Avery: Do you want to bring dinner here?
I dropped my phone and it went clattering across the floor. Both my parents looked up from their projects. My dad knitting while my mother worked on a puzzle.
“Sorry.”
They kept staring.
“I got a text message.”
I leaned over to pick up my phone, hoping they’d stop paying attention.
“Well, who’s texting you shocking things?” my mother asked.
“Jensen.”
My mother and father looked at each other.
“Not that!” Clearly, it was a mistake to throw Jensen under the bus.
“Enough to make you drop your phone, what is it not?” my mother asked, sounding innocent, but it was that motherly voice where she was about to trap me in a lie and I was much too old for this sort of thing, but still felt like a guilty teenager.
“He asked what I was doing.”
“Which caused you to drop your phone?” my father asked, stitching aggressively, staring me down.
I scooted further away from him. “The vibration startled me?” Sounds plausible right? Sure, sure.
“Are you asking me why you dropped your phone?” he asked.
“Most definitely not.”
My phone buzzed again.
Avery: If you don’t want to you don’t have to.
Avery: Ellie is bored and I was trying to figure out something to do so we don’t go out and get outed.
“He says while he is holding a vibrator.” My mother tapped a puzzle piece into place a little too aggressively.
“You cannot say that.” I stared at her wide-eyed.
“You can sit next to your father and sext… is that the word?” She looked at my father. “Never mind. You can sit next to your father while sexting but I can’t say the word vibrator?”
I stood up. “I am not sexting my boyfriend and I am going to my room for an unrelated reason.”
“Sure you are,” my father said.
“I’m going to my room to escape this awkward as fuck conversation. How’s that?”
“Would have been better had you used it when you first came up with your reason to leave the room,” my mother added, not looking up.
“You two are unbearable.”
“Says the guy who was sitting next to his parents sexting,” my father called after me.
Avery had sent three more messages by the time I escaped to the hall.
Avery: Probably a bad idea anyway.
Avery: People will talk if they see you going to the motel.
Avery: You know I can see when you’ve read my message right?
Aiden: Mom and dad were trying to read over my shoulder, you insufferable git.
Avery: Who even talks like that?
Aiden: Literally cannot escape the shit today.
Avery: Maybe that’s a reflection on you, not us?
Aiden: I’d love to suggest the reason you don’t talk to anyone is because you’re obnoxious but since you left and cut us off like you didn’t care about us it’s not feasible. Just know the thought is there.
Avery: Righty-o. Are you coming or not?
Aiden: Yes, but now mom and dad are going to think I’m going out for a booty call.
Avery: I told you they’d think that with you showing up at the motel.
Aiden: I have a boyfriend.
Avery: … hope he doesn’t think you’re cheating.
Aiden: I’ll see you in a few.
I had to close my phone or I would have yelled at him. As much as I wanted to know him and my niece after being gone as long as he had been, it didn’t mean I wasn’t upset with him for leaving. I walked the rest of the way to my room, and changed out of the sweats I’d been lounging in, and came back out wrapping a scarf around my neck.
“Can I borrow the car?”
“Your booty call can’t pick you up?” my father said in the most chill deadpan voice I’d ever heard that I wasn’t sure I hadn’t slipped into an alternate dimension.
“Clearly not if I’m asking for your car.” I tried to use his tone back on him, but it just came off rather flat and did not have the same punch.
“Don’t sound too excited about it, honey.” My mother frowned. “Is it boring now that everyone knows?”
“I have plenty of secrets to spice up my life!” I grabbed their keys and stormed out the door.
“Please don’t wreck the car again,” my father called after.
Like I planned on wrecking it the last two times. It was never my fault but we’d learned from an early age metal things are attracted to me. It’s quite inconvenient and quite a nuisance for crossing the road.