“That’s right, honey. I know you’re scared. It’s all right. I’m here with you.”
He suddenly looked directly at Soleil, staring into her eyes with his beautiful blue ones. There was so much pain there she couldn’t stand it. His hand curled around the back of her head and slowly began to force her face toward his cock.
“It’s all right. You want him to fuck your little pussy. You need it. You’re on fire. Let him in. Let the other one have your ass.” He stroked the top of her head as if soothing her. “You can suck my cock if you need to. I’ll always let you. It will distract you.” He rubbed the head of his cock around her lips, back and forth. “We talked about this. The others are watching you. Seeing you. You’re so beautiful to them. They need you.”
He exerted so much strength, Soleil had no choice but to open her mouth and let him push her onto his cock. He began to wipe her face with his thumb, over and over. “Don’t cry. It only hurts for a few minutes and then you’ll feel so good. I’ll make it good for you.”
She couldn’t take her eyes from his face. It was twisted with pain. With sorrow. Even with self-loathing. She found herself wanting to soothe him. She didn’t take control, because he was already moving in her mouth, surging deep and then much more gently, alternating the strokes with various rhythms.
“See, so much better. Suck, honey. Don’t cry. You have to stop crying. Feel that now? So much better. He’s so happy, you should see his face. Look at the others watching.”
When he said that, to look at the others, his cock swelled, pushing at the soft tissue of her mouth, growing heavier and hotter on her tongue. She realized he did need that sometimes. Someone had conditioned him to need it. He didn’t recognize himself as a victim; he saw himself as the criminal. She wanted it over. She wanted to bring him out from the place he was in. She put effort in getting him off, unable to think of any other way to end the flashback.
It wasn’t that hard. He was so close. Then his hands were fisting on either side of her head and he nearly jerked her off of him. His blue eyes moved over her face and, if it was possible, he went gray under his tan. She sat back on her heels and reached for her tank, pulling it over her head, ignoring the bra. She never took her eyes from his face.
Ice rubbed his hand over his eyes and jaw and then looked at her again. Twice he opened his mouth to say something, then he just shook his head and looked down at his hands. “I’m sorry, Soleil. There’s nothing to say. Nothing. Now you know what kind of man I am.”
She handed him his shirt. “I know I love you, honey. I know you did everything you could to help those girls.”
He shook his head. “I traded them for Alena and Storm. If I didn’t cooperate, they would take her—take them. I had to get the girls ready for them. Convince them to cooperate and convince them they loved what was being done to them. No tears, because tears meant they weren’t into it.”
She rubbed her finger over the teardrops dripping from his eye. “For them. For those girls. You did this for all of them.”
“If they couldn’t cry, I couldn’t cry. I didn’t want them to have to like what was being done to them if I didn’t like it. It was so wrong, Soleil. They would arouse me when I was just a little boy, making me feel so good when they would get these girls to cooperate. They taught me how to do it. Fuck.” He spat the word and pulled his shirt over his head. “I need to show you off. I can’t stop myself. It makes me hard, but then . . .” He looked at her helplessly. “What does that make me? What did they make me into? I’m like them. Just the fuck like them.”
She put her arms around him, bringing his head to her chest. He might not be able to cry, but the tears were burning deep. She felt them. He choked on them. “You’re not anything like them. You were a child.”
“I grew up. Year after year. I grew and they kept up their demands because I was so fucking good at it.” He pushed into her, tightening his arms until she was afraid she would die from lack of air, but she didn’t move, just held him, wishing she could take his pain.
“You were still a child trying to save your sister. Your brother. Trying to save those girls. Ice, you think you had a choice, but you really didn’t. If you didn’t do what they said, they would have gone after Alena and Storm and they still would have taken those girls. You know they would have. You couldn’t do anything to stop them. They were sadistic pedophiles, and they murdered your family and took away your home. You had no power.” She found herself rocking back and forth with him.
Ice sat back, shaking his head. “I try not to think about it too much because I can’t change it. Every one of those girls is dead. After that group used them, they passed them on to others. The others were much more brutal. When each one died, I felt as if I had been the one to kill them. It became harder to cooperate, and when I would resist, they would beat Storm or Alena in front of me. Sometimes they’d rape them. Over and over, in front of me. They would use Alena so brutally and I couldn’t stand it . . .”
He lifted his head, looking straight into her eyes. His heart was breaking. Hers was as well. “I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t. I went back to doing what they demanded. When I got strong enough, I killed them, Soleil. One by one. It was the only way to stop them. I was just shy of seventeen when I got the last one.”
He expected her to condemn him. She saw that on his face. He didn’t feel remorse for killing them, only for his part in helping get the cooperation of the girls.
“I’m glad you did, Ice. They wouldn’t have stopped. Even if you and the others escaped, they would have found other girls to use.” She was careful of her words. “Honey, you’re shivering, and you don’t even realize it. Get your jeans on and let’s just go home.”
“You want to stay with me? After hearing the truth? Knowing at every party I’m going to want to show you off and that could happen?”
“I like when you show me off,” she admitted. “And if it happens, we’ll deal with it, just like we did this time.”
He caught her face in his hands and stared into her eyes, searching for the truth. “I don’t want to share you with another man. Not ever. I don’t want another man touching you. I realized when we went on that run that I could only do this when my brothers surrounded us, not strangers. They help me protect you, and I need to know you’re safe. I wouldn’t share you with anyone, Soleil. I don’t have that urge. I swear to God, I don’t have that urge.”
She was very relieved to hear him say that, because for a moment she’d been afraid, and that wasn’t going to happen. She was adventurous, but not that adventurous. Having more than one man, or adding another woman, had never been her fantasy. Being seen, having men look at her with lust, had been.