“Thank you, honey. I love my lessons. I’ve learned so much from Alena.”
She had thrown herself into making their house a home. One by one, she was working on each room in the house, slowly redesigning the interior. All the while, she worked at learning to cook. She seemed to really enjoy it. When they went out, which wasn’t that often, they went to Alena’s restaurant. Usually, she would go into the kitchen to talk to Alena about a specific recipe or Alena would come out to sit and talk with them if she wasn’t too busy—which was almost never.
Their bedroom door was always kept closed. Every other door was open in the house, welcoming, but she kept the door to the master bedroom closed. For some reason that gave him the feeling of intimacy. It was theirs alone. Their secret haven where no one else was welcome.
“This morning, you brought up money again. You never do that.”
She pressed her lips together and then pulled off her T-shirt and bra, probably in the hopes of distracting him. Ordinarily, that was all it would take, but this time, he wasn’t going to get sidetracked. She was always honest with him, and if he asked the right questions, he’d get his answer because she’d done that deliberately, knowing what his response would be.
“Yes, I’m sorry.” Her hands dropped to her jeans and she unzipped them and shimmied out of them.
“What did I tell you to do?”
A small little smile of satisfaction curved her mouth. “What you always tell me. Crawl under the table and suck you off.”
His cock jumped at the memory. Sitting at breakfast, his plate full, his coffee perfect, and his brothers filling him in on the progress Code had made in looking up each man in the club wanting to patch over to Torpedo Ink. They’d done it for one small club, only because Gavriil had vouched for them, and after meeting them and getting to know them, they’d voted to bring them in. It didn’t necessarily follow that a second club made up of Russian assassins, men like them that had gone to one of the other three schools, was a right fit. They had to take their time, get to really know those other men in order to call them brothers.
The sun shone through the windows and he was feeling great when she’d suddenly brought up that she wanted to purchase a new rug for one of the smaller guestrooms, but no worries, she was using her own money. He’d caught her hair in his fist and assisted her to the floor, barking the order to suck him off. Soleil hadn’t hesitated. She hadn’t fumbled at his belt or when slipping his jeans down when he’d lifted himself off the seat. She’d gone straight to work, making it difficult to hear or think. She’d swallowed every single drop and then meticulously cleaned him, taking her time and doing it right. He’d had a hell of an ache the rest of the day, but he’d felt like a million dollars.
“Why did you bring up money?”
“Well . . .” She hesitated.
Red flags went up fast. She wouldn’t lie to him, he knew that, but something was a little off-kilter.
“I wanted your cock in my mouth and I thought you might be upset enough with me that you’d want to teach me a lesson the way you did the last time. It was amazing.” She made the confession in a rush, her face flushing.
He lifted her chin with two fingers, forcing her to look at him. “I don’t want you ever embarrassed to talk about sex with me. You should be comfortable enough to ask for anything in bed that you want. Anything, Soleil. You don’t like something, you tell me. I want to know fast, up front. That’s important. You understand me?” They’d had the discussion before, but he wanted to reiterate to her how it important it was.
She nodded and walked across the room to the glass wall, staring out at the crashing waves. Ice shook his head as he removed his boots and socks and then his shirt. He padded across the room barefoot to stand behind her.
“That wasn’t the real reason, princess. It crossed your mind, but that’s not why. I want you to tell me why.” He wrapped his arms around her and covered her breasts with his hands. Her tits felt soft and sexy in his palms. He dropped his chin on top of her head as he stared out into the night.
They hadn’t turned on a light in their room. They really didn’t need to. The ocean always seemed to give off light, even on stormier nights. The dimmer lighting always made the ambience in their bedroom sexier.
“You’ve been a little edgy lately. I noticed since the last big party, you’ve been careful. I realized you were afraid of having a flashback and somehow hurting or upsetting me. It doesn’t. You aren’t violent.”
“But I lose myself and us.” That really bothered him.
“For a moment, Ice. You came back to me right away. You know my touch. My mouth. My body. You know my voice. There’s power in that for me. I get to be the one who comes to your aid for a change. You always take care of me. I know I can do this for you and I’m not afraid.”
“How about disgusted? The things I did . . .”
“Honey, you were a child. You keep thinking you had power to change it, but you didn’t. When we have children and you see how young they are, you’ll realize it, but for now, you have me when things get rough, and I swear to you, I’ll always be there for you.” She turned her head to look up at him so lovingly, his heart melted.
He could see she meant it. His woman would take his back no matter how bad things got, but he wanted to warn her. “It’s going to happen again and again. And I have nightmares. They never go away, Soleil.”
She nodded. “I’m aware. I spent a lot of time with psychologists. Kevin thought I needed counseling. I think they all needed it after being my counselor.” She rubbed his arms and leaned back into him. “I love taking care of you.”
“That means crawling under a table to suck my cock?”
“The point was, your brothers were there, and you didn’t flinch, Ice. You feel safe around them. At the party, there were others.”
“From other schools, men who suffered other kinds of torture.”
She shook her head. “Not pedophiles. Not criminals. They have no idea what you’ve been through. I don’t know and you told me part of it. A small part, but enough that I know only your seventeen brothers and sisters know the entire truth, and maybe not even them. But you feel safe with them. You know they’ll protect you.”
“No,” he clarified, “I know they’ll protect you. That’s what is important to me. I like exhibition, but not all the time and not when it isn’t safe. That’s what I’ve been learning lately. I put you in a dangerous position on that run. It isn’t ever happening again. If my brothers are close and we can control a situation, that’s one thing, but not when things could go to hell fast. When I can learn to trust the others in other chapters to keep you safe, maybe I’ll be able to be okay with showing you off, but I don’t want to take chances with you. If I offered you to another man, or group of men, Soleil, I’d probably kill myself.”