But she kept driving farther and farther away from the cliff and the ocean and the smell of the salt. She didn't know exactly how to get back to the city from here. She'd been unconscious most of this trip and the last time she'd been paying more attention to Lindsay than the drive. but Damian's car had GPS. She could reverse engineer and retrace her way back into the city. From there she knew where she was going. She'd been on the trip to and from the house with Lindsay so many times.
She knew it was insane to go back. She knew that Brian would probably kill her even as she entertained fantasies of hiding in that enormous house and just never crossing paths with him again. But she was so tired of being the background of everyone else's life. She wanted to make her own choice about something. If it was a risk, so be it. If she could die, so be it. At least she was making her own choice for the first time in longer than she could remember.
However foolish or dangerous, she wanted to make a clear and definite choice for what she wanted without any coercion, without any influence from anyone outside herself. She wanted to take her own chances for once and let the chips of her life fall where they may. She wanted to be someone who was strong and brave, who didn't just cling to others for rescue.
It was deep into the night when she reached the house. She parked Damian's BMW outside the gate. The gate creaked open when she punched the code in.
She crept around to the back of the house beside the pool. The guys had stopped using an alarm on the house itself years ago due to the security bracelets and the perimeter. The door by the pool was often left unlocked. Both Annette and Mina sometimes liked to take midnight swims. Shannon held her breath as she tried the door. It clicked easily open in her hand.
The first place she went was Lindsay's office. There was a fifty/fifty chance he'd left it unlocked. He often did. He'd started locking up the drugs and important papers in a cabinet, but often left the main door unlocked—probably because he didn't want to have to remember keys every time he went to his office in his own home.
This door, too, opened easily.
But the desk drawer that he'd put her collar in was locked.
“Dammit,” she hissed. She should be grateful she'd gotten this far. But she wasn't prepared to give up. She had no idea where Lindsay keep the key, but she didn't need the key. She just needed a hammer. What difference did it make if he punished her for ruining his desk in light of everything else she was doing? And if Brian got his hands on her again, well... any threat from Lindsay paled in comparison.
She slipped quietly down the hallway, past the fitness room where she could hear the treadmill going.
Fuck. Brian was awake. Running again. Always running. The treadmill kept it's steady pace, and she continued down the darkened hallway. She went to the supply closet and rummaged through box after box until she finally found the tools.
When she returned to the office, she jumped and let out a surprised yelp when Brian spun around in the chair.
“Whatcha doin' with the hammer?”
Shannon took a step back, hovering in the doorway. She felt the edges of panic creeping into her. The last person she wanted to notice her presence was Brian. Whatever stupid brave front she'd been putting on, Brian was still the last person she'd wanted to see tonight.
Maybe she'd hoped she could get to Lindsay and convince him to find another way. Given enough time to argue her case, she could convince him to run with her. Maybe Brian would catch them, but maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he would lose interest.
Now she might never get the chance to have that conversation. Nobody else knew she was here. Brian could take her downstairs and... he could do anything. Nobody would stop him.
Suddenly she couldn't breathe right as the cold clammy dread wrapped around her like the whip marks on her shoulders.
“Shannon? What's the hammer for?” he asked again.
“I-I need to get into the top drawer.”
“Why?”
“My collar's in there.”
“You'd risk being in the same house with me to be with him?”
“Y-yes, Sir.” In truth, through all the tough mental self-talk somehow the full reality of Brian hadn't occurred to her on the drive until she'd actually reached the house. It wasn't as though she didn't understand it, she'd just been furiously blocking it from her consciousness so she didn't have to deal with it—sure she could safely reach her master one more time.
And maybe she was still in shock from earlier. She felt the bandages pressed against her back, and a tear slipped down her cheek.
He rose out of the chair and moved around the desk into her space. “You were safe. Completely out of my reach.” He stroked the side of her cheek.
Shannon cringed from him and gripped the hammer more tightly in her hand. That wasn't true. She was never out of his reach, he'd just decided to let her go as long as it meant Lindsay would be miserable.
“Gonna hit me with that?”
She shook her head. “N-no, Sir.” She might if she thought she could actually kill him, but then she had no doubt Mina would kill her. So as nice as the fantasy was...
She whimpered as he bent next to her and pulled a small key out of the potted plant beside the door. “This might be easier.”
Shannon took the offered key, wondering what his game was. He stepped aside, and she moved quickly past him back into the office. He stood in the doorway watching as she unlocked the desk drawer and pulled out the smooth black box that held her collar.
She was painfully and terrifyingly aware of the fact that Brian blocked her exit. But she tried not to think about it. She opened the box, took out the collar, and slipped the platinum and diamonds around her throat.
She looked up hoping to find Brian had evaporated from the room like a ghost. But he still stood leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed over his chest. Watching her.
Finally he spoke. “You know, I fucking hate him. Shit hasn't been right with me and the doc since he brought Mina to the house. But I'm developing a grudging respect for you, princess.” Then he turned and went back down the hall to the fitness room to continue his run.
What the hell did that mean?
Shannon gripped the edge of the desk and struggled to pull herself up to stand. The adrenaline dump from his closeness had turned her legs to useless jelly. After several shaky breaths, she left the office and closed the door behind her.
She took the elevator up to the second floor because she didn't trust her legs to take her up a full flight of stairs. She hesitated outside Lindsay's door. If she went in there, she might wake him. And she desperately wanted to sleep, not fight all night. She went down the hall to one of the empty rooms and ripped the blankets and pillows off the bed then returned and made a little bed in the doorway of Lindsay's room. Anything they had to say would be better left for morning.
75
Lindsay opened his door and nearly tripped over a bundle of... Shannon? She was curled up with blankets and pillows on the ground. For a moment his brain refused to put together the scene in front of him. She'd come back? How had she come back? Did she run away? Had Damian hurt her?
No. He wouldn't. Lindsay was sure of it. He felt unbelievably happy at the sight of her there, waiting outside his room, all wrapped up like a gift for him. He shook his head. He couldn't go there. He couldn't let himself think about what he wanted. Nothing had changed about their situation. Brian was still a threat. It wasn't safe for her here. If Brian got hold of her even one more time, she wouldn't survive the encounter.