The blond who’d rescued her from Brian, approached as she was finishing and putting her tray away. “Lindsay’s back. He wants to speak with you in his office.”
Something inside her sank. After their earlier interaction, any hope she’d had that the doctor would keep her himself was gone. Now she wasn’t sure she even wanted him. This wasn’t a game, and even the smallest lapse in formality might earn her another punishment just as upsetting as being beaten. If so many things upset her, what did any of her preferences or urges in men even mean?
The doctor seemed impatient when she reached his office, as if she hadn’t flown there fast enough for his taste.
“Please shut the door and sit.” He indicated a chair.
The relationship they’d had as doctor and patient had evaporated, leaving in its wake something she wasn’t sure she liked at all. The freedom she’d felt to speak her mind—to address him even—was gone now.
Lindsay was silent for a long while as he seemed to gather his words together in a bundle. “Mina, I believe bringing you here was an error on my part. Even with all the therapy sessions, I’m not sure I truly realized the extent of the damage that’s been done to you. I wanted to help you. And in truth, I wanted to help myself. It was a conflict of interests even for me.”
She opened her mouth but then remembered herself and stopped short.
“You may speak freely inside this office. It’s still a therapist’s office, and without that freedom you can’t be helped.”
“You said you couldn’t let me go back home. What does this mean for me?” Surely he wasn’t going to have her killed. That would hardly be more kind than the situation he’d already initiated.
“My plan was to put you through the standard training protocol, keeping in mind the boundaries we agreed to. However, I realized this morning that without pain as a tool, punishments become more challenging. And with Brian in the house… I can’t risk you with him. I find that I have a personal fondness toward you that clouds my vision.”
Again, the question of why he couldn’t keep her bubbled to the surface.
“Before you say it again, I can’t collar you. It exposes you constantly to the danger of Brian. He respects Anton’s claim on Annette, but… he’s taken an unusual interest in you. I can’t speak about his past. It would betray doctor/patient confidentiality, but I can tell you that you are not safe near him.”
She couldn’t argue with that logic. Though Brian had yet to hurt her, he felt like a bomb that had already been set to go off. It was merely a matter of the clock winding down to zero.
“W-where does that leave us? If you let me go back home, I swear I won’t say anything about anything.”
Lindsay shook his head. “I’m afraid that’s not an option. I intend to go ahead and find a buyer for you and get you out of the house within the next day or two. I went through my business contacts late last night, and there are several potential candidates who have bought other girls from us and who I trust implicitly with your safety. A few of them prefer their own training protocols, so your untrained state won’t be an issue.”
Mina was offended by his untrained state comment. It too closely echoed Jason’s not a real sub accusation. How could she be untrained if she’d lived in so many 24/7 D/s arrangements in the past? Though had she? If such arrangements existed and ever worked out, she hadn’t been lucky enough to be one of the participants. From her view and experience, it had been a nice shady corner for abusive men to hide in. And now she’d moved to the next level of the same fucking thing.
Why couldn’t she let her fantasies stay fantasies instead of insisting on finding a way to act them out and live them?
The doctor continued. “I’ll ask that you stay in the tower until it’s time for you to leave us. You may lock your door. I have a feeling it’s the only thing that will keep Brian out. Your meals will be brought up. Again, I want to apologize for everything, and I promise I will do my very best to find a good match for you, somewhere you can be happy. I can at least assure that you will be safe. Do you have any questions?”
“C-can I get some cigarettes?” Earlier in the cage, at least part of the shaking had been the need of a cigarette. With the stress and uncertainty of her future, she didn’t want to think about how bad the withdrawal might get.
“No. There will be no smoking here. You won’t be allowed to smoke once you’re sold, so it’s better to work through the cravings and discomfort now. You may go.”
Lindsay returned to the stack of papers in front of him, effectively dismissing her from his life forever.
When Mina reached the door, his voice stopped her. “To ensure your care and safety, and because you’ve been my patient, I’ll see you once a week if you still want that. I’ll arrange it with the buyer. We can do video conferencing.”
“Okay.”
She felt numb, empty, afraid, the fantasy once again unraveling—this time before it started.
“Oh, and one more thing.”
“Yes?”
“I’ll need to do a health examination and take some photos and video for the auction. You won’t be required to be present for the sale. Everything will be handled behind the scenes.”
“Photos and video?” Mina wasn’t sure she was comfortable with that, but she hadn’t thought to set no photos or video of me as a limit. That kind of thing could end up anywhere. It could come back to haunt her.
“They have to see what they’re buying. Would you rather be displayed naked on the conference table and be poked and prodded by myself or Gabe or Anton while bidders look on? Would you rather risk Brian being present for the event and touching you, too?”
She shuddered. No. She didn’t want to risk any of that. When Lindsay first suggested finding a master for her, and he’d mentioned money changing hands, what had she thought he meant? If it was enough money to bother, of course potential buyers would want to see what they were paying for. Of course she’d be treated like an object on the auction block. Wasn’t not having to be physically present a mercy?
There was a time when the idea would have excited her, but now… If being here had taught her anything, it was that Jason had truly broken her. Could even a kind master, following the rules of the contract, have any hope of reawakening her? Could she trust anyone to open that side of herself up again?
For months in therapy she’d focused on what she couldn’t have. She’d obsessed about it and held onto it. Now, presented with it, she began to wonder why she’d been so fixated. Maybe she was meant to be single with some cats. But it was too late for that. She’d signed her rights away. And Lindsay would enforce that choice to save his own ass. Only now, if she fought, he couldn’t hide behind the cloak of doing something noble and kind for her—of fulfilling all her fantasies and giving her everything she’d ever wanted.
If she fought now, it would be ugly and brutal for both of them. He’d be her captor and kidnapper. She’d be his victim. She couldn’t bring herself to be anyone else’s victim again right now. If she went along, maybe she could find that place inside herself that actually liked this idea.
“Come on, it’ll be all right, Mina. I’m sorry to have to do this to you. If you knew how rarely I apologized to anyone for anything, you’d know my sincerity. It was foolish to bring you here, and now I’ve started a chain of events I can’t release myself or you from. If it comforts you, everyone at the auction will be a previous buyer—someone the house has a history with and who has honored our contracts in the past. You need not fear anyone who might buy you.”