“Maybe they go after Sunday mass because they feel hella guilty.”
She chuckles. “Maybe.”
“Do you think Grandma knows about us?” I ask.
“How could she? Unless your sister told her.”
“I doubt it. Jane is discreet. She wouldn’t blabber about my love life to anyone.”
“We should invite her to come to LARP next weekend. I’m sure Fred would love the surprise.” She smirks.
“Yeah, I’m sure he would.” Suddenly, my good mood turns sour.
“You don’t have to worry about Fred. He’s harmless,” she assures me.
“No guy is harmless unless he has no dick.”
Charlie rolls her eyes and resumes making coffee. A minute later, she sets a cup in front of me and then leans against the counter with a mug of her own.
We don’t speak for a moment as we blow into our hot beverages. I bring the cup to my lips and take a tentative sip.
“You know Andreas has a thing for your sister, right?”
I choke on my drink and also manage to spill some on my jeans. Shit, it’s hot. Charlie laughs at my clumsiness.
“How do you know?” I ask, not hiding my annoyance.
“It was obvious. At game night, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. And let’s not forget that he almost beat Fred up for asking her to blow on the dice for luck.”
I run a hand through my hair. I was hoping I had misread the signs. “Fuck. I was afraid that would happen.”
“She’s eighteen, right? You can’t keep all the guys away from her. She’s gorgeous.”
“Watch me,” I retort angrily.
She shakes her head and takes another sip of her coffee.
“You think I’m being ridiculous.” I square my shoulders, too tense for someone who just had the best blow job ever.
“Only a little. I mean, I get it. You’re protective of your sister, especially considering what hap—” She stops abruptly, her face going ashen as she realizes she said too much.
Edgier than before, I ask, “Considering what, Charlie? What were you going to say?”
I can’t mistake the sudden tension on her face or the guilt shining in her pretty blue eyes.
“Jane told me about your brother.”
A bucket of ice-cold water pours over my head. I can’t breathe. I can’t move. I can only stare at Charlie while my heart gasps for air.
“Troy?” She sets the mug down and moves closer.
I put my coffee down with a jerky movement, spilling it all over the counter, and then stand up. “She had no right to tell you that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing? You weren’t the one who gossiped.” I look at the ceiling, laughing without humor. “I can’t believe I just said Jane was discreet a minute ago. I guess I don’t know my own sister.”
“She didn’t mean to gossip. She was trying to make me understand you.” Charlie walks around the counter and stops in front of me.
“Why?” I frown, crossing my arm over the sling.
“So I wouldn’t smother you to death in your sleep.” She gives me a tentative smile, and damn it, it almost works. Almost.
“I don’t know why she would tell you that. I never speak about Robbie. Not even Andreas and Danny know.”
“Why is that?”
I look away, unable to hold her stare when the guilt of my fuckup comes back with a vengeance. I don’t want Charlie to see the monster rearing its ugly head.
“Can we drop the subject? Please?”
She touches my lower back and then rests her forehead between my shoulder blades. “Okay. But know that I’ll be here for you when you’re ready to talk. Always.”
The “always” gets to me. It makes me so thankful and yet undeserving of her. I let my brother die. What would she think if she learned that? I swallow the lump in my throat, vowing to never let her know.
“We should go. It’s getting late.”
I step forward and away from Charlie’s touch, missing the contact at once.
36
CHARLIE
I can’t believe I let it slip that Jane had told me about their brother’s death. It’s obviously a forbidden subject, yet I went and blurted it out. Fuck me.
Now Troy is acting cagey and moody. His sullen disposition is not only ruining what I was hoping would be an awesome day, but it’s also making me feel horrible.
My chest is tight as I imagine what it must have been like for him to lose his brother at such a young age. My thoughts predictably wander to Ben and how I spent my entire life terrified something would happen to him. My concerns haven’t lessened as we’ve grown older—if anything, they’ve increased—but I’m better at hiding my protectiveness for Ben’s benefit. What I confessed to Troy on our date—my crippling fear that prevented me from applying for the exchange program—is something I’ve never told anyone, not even Blake.
When the sign for Golden Oaks comes into view, I let out a breath of relief. Hopefully, Ophelia, with her quirky sense of humor and no-bullshit attitude, will be able to get Troy out of his funk.
As I predicted, the place is full, but we’re not so late that we can’t find a parking space. I snag a spot as far away as possible from the main entrance. It’s tight, and if my car were any bigger, it wouldn’t fit. I turn off the engine and glance at Troy with a small smile on my lips.
“Ready?”
He looks at me, his expression unreadable. My grin wilts as I’m blasted by his cold stare. I begin to turn, but he swings his arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him. His mouth slams over mine, rough and desperate. Wow, the boy is intense. I’m swept away by the passion of his kiss, melting against him. When it seems I’m about to combust on the spot, he pulls back suddenly, leaving me bereft and also so aroused.
Ah shit.
“Okay, now I’m ready.” He smirks and then opens the passenger door.
Sweet baby llamas. I can barely think straight after that kiss, and he expects me to get out of the car and walk? I don’t even know if I can move my legs.
I pull the vanity mirror down and check my reflection. My lips are swollen, and my light pink lipstick is smeared. I can’t go in like this. I search for tissues in the glove compartment, but before I can actually fix my makeup, Troy opens my door.
“What are you doing, babe?”
I whip my face to his. “Fixing this.” I point at my mouth.
He chuckles, and immediately, my irritation dissipates. I love when he laughs. My heart does a cartwheel, and a fuzziness in my tummy makes me feel strange. All because I used “love” in a thought about Troy. Does that mean I’m in love with him? My heart skips another beat as an answer. My brain freezes, and a gasp escapes my lips.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, his tone filled with concern.
Like a moron, I shake my head. “It’s nothing.”
Troy keeps staring intensely at me. It doesn’t help that my face feels warm, which means my cheeks are giving away my embarrassment. I quickly wipe off the lipstick and slide out of the car. He immediately places his hand on my lower back, sending ripples of heat up my spine and through the rest of my body.