“I brought treats.” He follows me.
“Good.”
“What are we doing today?” He sets the treats bag on the counter.
“I have to visit Ophelia at Golden Oaks.” I grab two mugs from the cupboard, purposely giving my back to him. I’m sure he’ll have an opinion about it.
“Do you think visiting his grandmother is a good idea?”
I sigh, turning around. “No. But I owe her an explanation. I broke Troy’s heart.”
“Hmm. Okay.”
Fred doesn’t press further, allowing me to have breakfast in peace. I have to force the doughnut down, though because my appetite is gone. The knots in my stomach are taking away all the joy of eating.
We keep the conversation light on the way to Golden Oaks. Fred monopolizes most of it. But by the time he parks in front of the building, I’m a ball of nerves.
“Here we are,” he says. “Do you want me to go in with you?”
“No, it’s better if I talk to her alone.”
He covers my hand with his. “It’s going to be okay, Charlie.”
I nod, and then get out of the car.
Cheyenne is behind the reception desk this morning, and I wish she weren’t here. She hasn’t seen me since the accident. Plus, she knows me well and immediately notices I’m a hot mess.
“Honey, is everything okay?” she asks.
“No, not really. But hopefully, it will be better after my visit. Is Ophelia in her apartment?”
“Yes, she’s expecting you.”
“Okay, thanks.”
Ophelia’s apartment is an efficient unit with a small kitchen, a living room, a balcony facing the gardens, and a master suite. Once, I asked her if she missed her spacious house, but she said she’d rather live in a small place and have good company than live in a mausoleum alone.
The front door is open, so I call her name as I walk in.
“I’m outside, Charlie,” she replies.
I cross the living room, finding her sitting on a chair with a blanket over her lap and a mug of tea between her hands.
“Hi,” I say.
She turns to me with a tight smile on her face. “Would you like some tea? The water in the kettle is still hot.”
“No, I’m good, thanks.” I pull up a chair.
There’s a moment of silence when Ophelia just stares at me, making me uncomfortable.
“Where are Jack and Louis?” I ask.
“Probably out, pestering someone. How have you been, dear?”
I shrug. “I’ve been better.”
“Dreadful thing, what happened with your folks.” She shakes her head. “Elaine’s never had much of a moral compass.”
“She didn’t sin alone,” I reply bitterly.
“No, but that showdown was all her. She’s always been like that, creating drama and placing the blame on others instead of owning up to her mistakes.”
Ophelia’s comment makes me think about what Troy told me. “Did she really blame Troy for Robbie’s death?”
Her eyes cloud, and her mouth becomes a flat line. “Yes. She and Jonathan both did. I tried to tell Troy it wasn’t true. He wasn’t supposed to be looking after Robbie. He was a kid, for crying out loud, and Robbie had his floaties on. Elaine and Jonathan got distracted at the party and didn’t notice that he had somehow gotten rid of them. I was the one who found Robbie, drowned in the pool.” She closes her eyes and shudders. “It was awful.”
“Troy vehemently believes he’s guilty.”
She shakes her head. “I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve told him the truth.”
My eyes fill with tears again, and there are too many to keep contained. I wipe off the ones that roll down my cheeks.
“You must think I’m a terrible person to have ended things with him.”
Ophelia gives me a pitiful glance. “Oh dear. I don’t think that at all. I can read in your eyes how much this separation is costing you.”
I drop my gaze to my lap. “I miss him so, so much. But it feels like a betrayal to my mother if I’m together with him. It’s stupid.”
“No, it’s not. You’re a good daughter, but remember, you can’t keep your happiness on hold because someone close to you is miserable. Life is too short for that kind of nonsense.”
Sagging my shoulders forward, I let out a heavy exhale. “I know. I just need more time.”
48
CHARLIE
Six weeks have gone by since the breakup. Blake, Fred, and Sylvana all helped me during the first week until I got used to the crutches, and they also alternated in giving me rides to school.
Good on his word, Troy has given me space. He hasn’t called or texted. His absence from my life has been glaring, awful. And living in Ophelia’s house without him is the hardest thing I’ve had to do. I thought that with time, the hole in my chest would hurt less, but the pain is as acute as ever.
My parents decided to stay married and give it another try. They’ve been seeing a therapist, and I hope they can work things out. I don’t know how Mom had it in her to forgive him. I know I couldn’t forgive my husband if he had an affair, and to be honest, I haven’t forgiven Dad yet.
Glutton for punishment as I am, I’ve been watching all of Troy’s games on TV. Whenever I see him on the screen, it feels like a dagger is piercing my chest. God, I miss him so damn much. Is it fair that I’m putting us through this misery when my parents have already decided to put the past behind them?
Ophelia’s words come back to haunt me. I said I needed more time, and I think—no, I know—I’m ready.
I pick up my phone and pull up Troy’s number. I want to text him, but I don’t know what to say. Sorry doesn’t seem to cut it. He told me he’d wait for me, but I feel like I’m the bitch in this story. He moved out of his own house so I wouldn’t have to look for a place to live. He was the perfect boyfriend, and I’m a fucking shrew.
Instead of calling or texting him, I text Jane instead, asking if she can talk. If I’m going to ask Troy to forgive my idiocy, I have to show him how much he means to me. She replies to my message a minute later and tells me she’ll come over.
As I wait, I begin to run through ideas of what I could do for Troy. The time speeds by, and before I know it, she’s knocking on my door. I’ve been leaving it unlocked during the day since it’s such a pain to move these days.
“Come in,” I tell her.
“Hi, Charlie,” she greets me, then closes the door. “You know it’s not safe to have the door unlocked, right?”
“I know. I’m just too lazy to get up from the couch. Don’t tell your brother, okay?”
She makes a face that I can’t interpret. “I haven’t mentioned you to him at all.”
My heart sinks. Why did I think Jane would be sympathetic to me?
“Oh. You must think I’m awful for breaking up with him.”
“I get why you did it, but I hate seeing my brother hurting that bad. Are you sure you can’t get past what my mother did?”
“I miss Troy terribly, Jane. But I was too caught up in my own pain to be able to stay with him.”