“You’re not paying for my food, Betty.”
“Do as you’re told, Leonard.”
“Betty—”
“Stop! I’m paying. You’re both eating even if I have to order you food and force-feed you. Since we’ve been here, you’ve both lost weight. Neither of you are sleeping well, and Athena, I won’t have you blaming yourself anymore for Kris’ accident. It was an accident.” Mom reaches out and puts her hand over mine. “And Leonard, I won’t have you blaming Athena anymore either. Your son loved her, and she loved him. Respect that.”
Leonard fidgets in his seat and looks at me. My brows come together, and I look at Mom.
“Loved?” I shake my head. “No, Mom, I love him as in he’s still here. I love him, Mom.”
Mom’s eyes well up with tears. “Oh, honey, I know you do. We all do. But honey, it’s been five weeks. He should have woken up by now. You both need to face the facts.” Mom puts her hand over Leonard’s. “You both need to stop this emotional rollercoaster you’re on. Kris wouldn’t want that.”
Mr. Livingston puts his hand to his face and nods as tears roll down his cheeks. My mouth goes dry as I let Mom’s words sink in. She thinks Kris is gone, but I know he’s not. I know he is still in there. He just needs to open his eyes.
“He’s not gone, Mom.”
“I know that, honey.”
As I stare into her eyes, I can tell she’s just trying to placate me, to ease me into a new way of thinking, but I won’t. I can’t think he’ll never wake up.
“Would you like to start with drinks?” asks a waitress who’s face pales when she takes in our distressed appearances. “I can come back…”
“No,” replies Mom. “Three brandy’s, straight up, and we’re all having the chowder to start.”
The waitress nods and walks away.
Taking in a deep breath, Mom says, “Order some food. Look at your menus.”
She pats both our hands and picks up her menu, staring at it intently. Mr. Livingston does as he’s told, but I sit there, staring at Mom trying to think of the right words to say to her. In the end, nothing comes, so I look down at the printed words. The waitress comes back with our drinks, and Mom holds her glass in the air.
“To Kris, may he wake up soon.”
“To Kris,” says Mr. Livingston.
I nod and take a sip of the brown liquid. It’s fruity with a hint of oak and burns as I swallow it. Mom downs the whole glass, and Mr. Livingston smiles at her and does the same. I take another sip and another until the glass is empty. My stomach feels warm, and it’s the closest I’ve come to feeling something other than sadness in weeks.
Mom puts her hand in the air and clicks her fingers. “Waitress!”
“Mom,” I cry, reaching for her hand.
“It’s fine, Athena. We could all use another one.”
The waitress comes over. “Yes?”
“Could we all please have another, and could you please keep them coming?”
“Of course, madam.” The waitress backs away.
I’m sitting there with my mouth open, staring at Mom. She shrugs and points to my menu. Like a child, I do as I’m told.
“Leonard, what are you ordering?”
“The steak?” he replies, unsure of himself.
“Perfect. I’m having the Caesar salad. Athena?”
“Mom, I’m not sure I can eat.”
“You’re eating something. Have the Caesar salad, too.”
I nod as I know she’ll just keep at me if I don’t order something. When the waitress comes back with our drinks, Mom gives her our main meal orders as well.
“Mom, why are we here?”
“Kris isn’t waking up, and you two can’t stop living. Maybe it’s time we all went back home?”
Rage surges through me, and I clench and unclench my hands as I feel my face infuse with heat. “What?”
“You could come back on the weekends. Leonard, it’s not good for you to just sit in that waiting room, and honey, you have a book to write, you have deadlines.”
“You want us to forget about Kris?” My blood pounds in my ears as I stare at her.
“No, honey. Never that. Look at Leonard.” My gaze flicks to the older man. “He’s dying right along with his son. He needs to get back home and get into a routine. Dad and I will bring him here every Friday and take him home on Sunday nights, but you both can’t stop living. We don’t know how long this is going to go on. Kris wouldn’t want that.”
Mr. Livingston looks pained and torn which means he wants to leave but feels guilty about leaving his son. I can’t, no, I won’t leave Kris.
“Mom, I’m not going anywhere. I can write in the hospital. Mr. Livingston, what do you want to do?”
The older man looks at my mom then back at me. “I’m staying, Betty. I know you mean well, but he’s my only son. I only just got him back. But you’re right, I can’t spend all day every day in that waiting room.” He puffs out his cheeks. “I’ll do better. I’ll sit with him and read to him like Athena does.”
“You know I read to him?”
He nods. “I do look in from time to time. I’m just having a hard time opening the damn door. Maybe you could help me with that?”
This is the most Mr. Livingston has spoken to me in five weeks. Mom smiles, perhaps this was her plan all along? The waitress puts three chowders down in front of each of us.
“Enjoy.” Slowly, she backs away from the table. I’m thinking we look crazy to her.
“I’ll make sure there are two chairs in there from now on. Sometimes the orderlies take them out.”
Mr. Livingston nods at me, and we smile at each other.
“Eat,” orders Mom.
It does taste good, but it’s nowhere near as good as TB’s. When we are done, I look at my mother. Like me, she has dark circles under her eyes and might be a little thinner. She catches me looking at her and smiles.
“Is the food okay?”
“Yeah, Mom. It’s good.”
***
Six weeks.
We take turns in the hospital now. Mom flew home and comes back on the weekends, sometimes TB or Ashlea come too. My new normal is to get up, eat breakfast with Mr. Livingston, and drive him to the hospital. Then, if it’s not my day to spend with him, I simply go up with his dad, kiss Kris, and go back to the hotel and try to write. If it’s my day to be with Kris, I still have breakfast with Mr. Livingston, but he stays at the hotel. Many of his friends from Boothbay have come to stay and keep him occupied. I was always a recluse, so I’m grateful for the alone time, even if I prefer to be alone with Kris.
Today is my day with Kris. I’m reading him book five in my series about a family, a group of brothers. This one is about Jamie MacKenny, he’s a farmer with a secret. I’ve gotten to know the staff at the hospital fairly well. Kris’ situation is unchanged except that they’ve moved him to a different floor in the hospital.
“Hey, Athena, what book are you reading him today?” asks Nurse Sue.
“Spark of Time, it’s book five.”