“You look so cute in it!”
“Ugh.” I wince. “I look like such a fangirl.”
“Nothing wrong with that. It was Rossum.”
“Well, that’s true.” I nod. “After all the crap we’ve dealt with, it felt good to meet the person this is all about.”
“I’m glad you liked it. And, hey, thanks for coming to the bat mitzvah.”
“I wouldn’t have missed it,” I say. “Although Sophie’s friends are intense.”
“Right? And Maddie is just . . . the most intense.”
“I told you. Maddie has a crush on you, that’s all.”
“No,” he says quickly. “That’s just how she is.”
“Trust me. I know a crush when I see one.”
Jamie flushes. I bump my shoulder against his and laugh. He’s so cute, but I swear he doesn’t know it.
“I’m traumatized by middle school,” Jamie says. “I think even being middle school–adjacent gets me anxious.”
“I don’t think anyone looks back fondly on their middle school years.”
“Sophie might. She’s friends with everyone.”
“That’s impressive.”
“She’s fearless. She doesn’t care what anyone thinks about her.”
“Sounds like the exact opposite of how I was,” I say.
“Are you kidding me? You were the one doing those killer Cirque du Soleil moves on the rotating twirly thing at Catch Air. Half the kids crowded around to watch you.”
“Stop! I never did that!” I bat his elbow.
“You so did. I’m sure my mom has receipts on her phone. It was really cool.”
“Well, even if I did that when I was five . . . middle school was different. It was mortifying. You know those yogurt squeezes you get from the store? My mom packed one for me on the first day of sixth grade, and somehow I squirted the entire tube on my face. Kids teased me about it all week.”
“That’s amateur hour.” Jamie scoffs. “I asked a girl I had a crush on to slow dance with me at the Snow Ball, but I got so nervous I asked her to slowmance with me. People still bring it up.”
“What’s wrong with slowmance? That should be a word. It’s like a slow romance. A way to let the romantic moments linger.”
Jamie looks at me with an expression I don’t recognize.
“What’s wrong?” I reach over and squeeze his hand. “You okay?”
He doesn’t respond, but I can see the way he’s biting his lip and looking at me—a million thoughts are running through his mind.
“It’s just,” he finally says. “You’re the only one who’s heard that story and hasn’t laughed.”
“It’s a sweet story, Jamie, and besides—you invented a word. How many people can say that?”
He meets my gaze. I hadn’t noticed until now how close we’re sitting together. My heart flutters. And then—
“Maya, I love you,” he blurts out. “I mean . . . I’m in love with you. It’s just. You’re funny and smart and pretty, and I love—I love hanging out with you. And watching TV with you. And knocking on doors with you and falling asleep on the phone with you. You make me better and braver, and . . .” He swallows. His eyes widen. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have blurted that out. I didn’t mean to freak you out. I’m—”
“Jamie, it’s okay. Breathe.” I lace my fingers through his. “You didn’t freak me out. I’m just . . .”
Now I’m the one who can’t figure out the right words. Sara, Nolan, my parents—so many conversations swirl in my mind . . . there’s so much I should be thinking about, but all I feel are Jamie’s hands in mine, and the electricity coursing through me as I look into his green eyes. Jamie loves me. He is in love with me.
“Mint,” I finally whisper.
“Mint?” He tilts his head.
“You always smell like mint. It’s not bad. It’s good . . . ,” I trail off.
He smiles a little. “My mouthwash? I guess—”
I look into his eyes. The warmth of his hands. His lips, so close to mine. I inch closer until nothing separates us. He hesitates before leaning in.
He’s going to kiss me.
It’s like my body has decided to mute my brain. I close my eyes.
Jamie. Goldberg. Is. About. To. Kiss. Me.
And then—a high-pitched squealing shriek.
Instantly, we spring apart.
“What was that?” My heart races in my chest. The noise continues to blare in a pulsing beat. I know I’m not supposed to get intimate with anyone—but did God literally intervene on a kiss?
“Why is a car alarm going off?” Jamie glances around.
“Hey, guys!”
It’s Gabe. He’s heading toward us.
My knees are shaky. Did he see us?
“Looking all over for you, Jamie,” he shouts over the noise. “Your mom wants to do family photos.”
“Oh yeah, photos.” Jamie clears his throat.
“They’re right outside where the benches are. The photographer’s paid by the hour, so chop-chop, little cuz.” He slaps Jamie on the back. If he did see us, he shows no hint of it.
Jamie looks at Gabe and glances at me. He bites his lip.
“We’ll talk more tonight,” I tell him.
“Yeah?” He looks at me with a nervous smile.
I nod.
We trail behind Gabe through the side entrance, toward the luncheon hall. Maddie’s leaning against a wall near the doorway, but she’s so fixated on her phone, she doesn’t even notice us walk past her.
Jamie extends his hand. A minute ago, I’d have taken it without a second’s hesitation.
But it feels different now.
Everything does.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Jamie
Felipe, Nolan, and Drew show up at six on the nose, wearing the same suits they wore to the ceremony. “Is your cousin Rachel here yet?” asks Drew, peeking past me, down the staircase.
I keep glancing at my texts. Nothing from Maya. Not a word since we left the kiddush luncheon. I’m so anxious to see her again, even the sight of her name stops me short.
I just wish I knew where I stood with her. I don’t know what to make of what happened today in the parking lot.
Or what almost happened.
What I think almost happened.
Am I crazy to think Maya and I almost kissed? Obviously Gabe, being Gabe, had to show up and ruin it. But my brain keeps rewinding past that part, back to when Maya said I smelled like mint. When she shut her eyes and leaned forward, just barely. Maybe it was a platonic gesture that I just grossly misinterpreted? But . . . at that point, Maya already knew I was in love with her.
Am in love with her.
Because I told her.
I told Maya I’m in love with her. I made those words in my brain and I said them and Maya heard them and she didn’t freak out.
I don’t think she freaked out?
I mean, I almost kissed her.
And she almost kissed me back. I really think she would have kissed me. If not for Gabe.
Gabe. I can barely stand to look at him. He spent the whole family photo session grinning into his phone. I know that shouldn’t piss me off. It probably means good news for Rossum. Still. It’s like some kind of spell was broken the moment he showed up.