“Well?” she said. “What do you wish to speak of?”
They were quite alone, behind two locked doors, and Alexander found that he was having trouble focusing on anything else but her. Not The Marshal or her father or the king filled his mind. It had only been a few hours since he’d last seen her, but he felt as if it had been a million.
There was something about the woman that grew more beautiful each time he saw her. Her dark hair, long and curling, her dark brows arched over eyes of a pale gray… there was nothing about her that was unspectacular and he wanted this relationship to work so very badly. He never knew how badly until this very moment.
He took a deep breath.
“Your father and I had a serious discussion when you left,” he said. “He was not happy, Cissy. Surely you know that.”
“I know,” she said, sobering. “Did he ruin things for me, Sherry?”
He looked at her, grinning. “Hardly,” he said. “But he did bring up a few things about me that you must be aware of. I thought we would have time to discover one another, not give you an entire accounting of my life for the past twenty years all at once, but it seems that might not be the case. Before you and I proceed, there is something you must know about me.”
“Continue.”
“I used to have a harem.”
She cocked her head curiously. “A harem?”
“That means I had a group of women at my disposal,” he said. “To fulfill my needs. When I returned home from The Levant, I took my time. I ended up at the Lateran Palace in Rome with the Holy Father. Whilst there, I provided a service for him. If he had an enemy, I would deal with them. If he wanted me to do something sly and deadly, I would do it. In return for this service, he provided me with a house of my own and twelve women.”
She scratched her head curiously. “They took care of your home?”
He tried not to grin at her surprising innocence in the matter. “Nay, sweetheart,” he said, putting his hands on her arms. “I am trying to tell you that these women were provided to me to take care of my needs. As a wife would take care of husband.”
Her eyes widened as she realized what he meant. “Like a brothel?”
Quickly, he shook his head. “Nay, because they belonged only to me,” he said. Then, he sighed heavily. “I was unmarried. I was not betrothed. There was no one woman who had my loyalty. I took a few of these women to my bed because, sometimes, men have physical needs. Now do you understand?”
“Oh,” she said, an expression of hurt crossing her features even though she pretended otherwise. “They were… special to you?”
He shook his head. “Nay,” he said quietly. “I did not feel anything for them. They were simply possessions.”
“Is that what a woman is to you? A possession?”
“God, no,” he waved her off. “I am trying to be completely honest with you about my past by telling you something unsavory that your father brought up. But I will tell you what I told him – although I cannot undo the past, I can make a promise for the future. I will never disrespect you, I will always ensure you are safe and warm and happy, and I will be faithful to you for the rest of my life if you decide that I am the man you want. Upon my oath, I swear this.”
Christin believed him without hesitation. He was a knight of the highest order and men such as Alexander did not take a vow upon their oath lightly.
They meant it for life.
“I believe you,” she said, her eyes glimmering warmly at him. “Did my father?”
Alexander chuckled, a nervous gesture because he honestly wasn’t sure if she would have accepted his vow so easily. “I think so,” he said. “Your father and I have known each other a very long time. He was concerned about my past, as he should be. He is a father protecting his daughter. But men have pasts; most do not live like priests until they marry. I want you to know that you can ask me anything about my past and I will answer you honestly. I say this because I am certain your father will tell you things he knows about me and I do not want you to be surprised. I want you to hear the truth from me.”
She appreciated that he was being forthright. “You are an Executioner Knight, a legend,” she said. “I am sure you did not gain that reputation by living in a monastery for the past twenty years.”
He laughed softly. “I did not,” he said. “And your father knows that.”
Her smile faded. “Do you think he will try to dissuade me?”
Alexander shrugged. “It is possible,” he said. “He tried to chase me away but I would not go. I have found the woman I wish to spend my life with and I will not leave her, no matter what.”
It was a sweet thing to say and Christin’s smile returned. “He cannot say anything that will shake me, either,” she said. “I am sure he wishes I would marry a stalwart young knight with no past and a bright future. I am sure every father wishes that for his daughter. But there is no young, stalwart knight in England that could turn my head from you, Sherry. I have made my choice.”
Alexander looked at her, fortified by her declaration but knowing they more than likely had a difficult road ahead of them. In fact, he knew of one right away.
It might change everything.
“You did not hear what William said to me?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Nay.”
Alexander averted his gaze, thoughtfully, trying to find the best way to tell her what he must. It was difficult for him to spit it out, but he had to.
Better now than later.
“He is not happy about our association, either,” he said quietly. “He fears that it will impact any tasks we are assigned together, and he is not wrong. He has the same concerns with Achilles and Susanna, although so far, they have proven him wrong. Still, he is afraid our emotions will get in the way of our judgment.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that he wants to separate us,” he said softly. “It means that he wants to put space between us to either kill what we are feeling for each other or, if that is not the case, at least give us time to think. We are not to serve together unless absolutely necessary.”
Christin’s brow furrowed as she listened, genuinely trying not to become upset. She was struggling to be pragmatic, to see things from The Marshal’s perspective, but it was becoming increasingly difficult.
“He is siding with my father,” she said after a moment. “Surely, my father must have spoken to him and told him what happened. There is no other way he would have known.”
Alexander knew that. “I am sure he did speak with him.”
“Then you lied to me.”
“When did I do this disgraceful thing?”
“You told me that my father wasn’t trying to ruin this for me. Clearly, he is.”
He could see that she was becoming upset no matter how hard she was trying not to. He admired her strength in the matter; a lesser woman would have been in tears by now. Christin was stronger than that.
But she wasn’t unbreakable.
“Come with me,” he said, reaching out and taking her by the hand. He led her over to the bed. “Sit down, please.”
She did, gripping his hand tightly. He could feel the tension, the fear, in her grip so he sat down beside her and took both of her hands in his, holding them against his thigh. Looking her in the eyes, he could see how much she was struggling with the situation.