A smile teased Anne’s lips. However, she could not help but feel a bit uneasy discussing this with her cousin’s grandmother seated only a few steps away. Fortunately, a rather uneasy glance in Grandma Edie’s direction confirmed that the dowager had once again dozed off as she often did quite unexpectedly.
“See?” Louisa declared triumphantly, interpreting Anne’s smile for what it was. “Now, would you stop worrying and go and speak to him? You’re giving me a headache!” Sighing, she rubbed her temples.
A part of Anne wanted nothing more but to seek out Tobias and see Louisa’s words confirmed. Another part, however, still would not let go of the what ifs, fearing she could not gain anything from revealing her feelings, but would instead lose the best friend she’d ever had. “You had no right to tell him,” Anne squeaked, well-aware that she was merely stalling for time. Her hands were trembling, and she feared her heart would beat out of her chest at the thought of facing Tobias.
Louisa, of course, saw right through her. “Stop trying to distract me,” her cousin snapped gently. “What is done is done. Now, stop hiding and go speak to him.” She waved her hands, shooing Anne off the bed. “And avoid Lord Gillingham for I won’t be there to save you another time.” Her brows rose, and she gestured to her ankle.
Anne smiled at her. “Thank you…for saving me.”
“What is family for?” Louisa replied with a devilish grin. “I admit it was fun!”
“But your ankle,” Anne insisted. “You−”
“Out!” Louisa snapped, a warning glare in her eyes. “Now!” Her right arm snapped outward, and her forefinger pointed at the door. “I mean it! Go!”
Inhaling a deep breath, Anne complied, hoping despite her jittery nerves that this day would end as promising as it had begun.
With another kiss!
From the right man, of course.
Chapter Thirteen ~ Out into the Snow
Pulling on a dry pair of boots as well as her heavy winter cloak, Anne headed back outside.
The cold air felt wonderful upon her heated cheeks as her eyes swept the grounds, looking for Tobias. Many guests were still ice-skating while others had begun a snowball fight near the maze in the western half of the garden. The tall hedges provided a good shield behind which one could duck when another missile came flying at one’s head. Laughter echoed across the glistening snow, reminding Anne of the joyful winter days she’d shared with Tobias and Phin when they had been children. Was there any chance they could hold on to this bond now that they were grown?
“Are you looking for someone?”
Looking over her shoulder, Anne found Phineas standing only a few feet away. “I might be,” she replied as a nervous shiver snaked down her back. It would have been easy enough to blame it on the cold; however, Anne knew that she could no longer hide from the truth.
Louisa would never let her.
Phineas grinned. “Am I right to assume that you’re looking for my brother?” He moved closer, his dark gaze watchful and…knowing.
Oh, so knowing.
Anne swallowed. “Perhaps.”
Phin laughed, and his large hands settled upon her shoulders as his eyes looked into hers. “You’re as bad as he is, dear Annie,” he said gently, humor teasing his voice. “I’ll go and fetch him for you, but you have to promise me that you won’t let him get away.”
Anne inhaled a shuddering breath. If only it were that easy! After all, Tobias did have a say in what would come of…of their kiss, of that deep, unsettling, all-consuming feeling that made her heart race and her breath lodge in her throat. It was not merely her decision, but his as well.
“Promise me!” Phin insisted.
Anne nodded, unable to utter a single word.
Phineas grinned, giving her shoulders a slight squeeze before he walked away in the direction of the lake, a soft chuckle echoing after him.
Anne inhaled a deep breath, rubbing her hands together against the cold. Her thoughts were racing as much as her heart, trying to conjure the right words to say. Never had she been good at expressing what lived in her heart. Somehow it had always simply been a known truth between her and Tobias. They’d been friends, almost family. She’d always loved him, and he’d always loved her. They’d never said it, never spoken about it, and yet, they’d known.
They’d simply known.
How on earth was she to tell him what lived in her heart now? Was she simply to blurt it out?
Her feet carried her around in little circles, her gaze drawn to the other guests still engaged in a snowball fight, laughing, their faces flushed with excitement. Oh, if only she could join in and ignore the nagging fear that lingered in her chest!
“Miss Thatcher, what a surprise to see you!”
Anne almost groaned at the sound of Lord Gillingham’s voice behind her. Her eyes closed, and she inhaled a calming breath before turning to face him.
“I’d thought you’d remain indoors after your ordeal,” he remarked as long strides carried him closer. “Are you well?” His gaze swept over her.
Anne felt a shiver run down her spine; and this shiver was not of the teasing, tingling kind; the kind that stole one’s breath and quickened one’s heart. No, this shiver spoke of reluctance and unease. “I am well,” Anne told him, annoyed that he’d found her again. “As I’ve said before. Is there a reason you don’t seem to believe me?”
A hint of surprise came to his face at her harshly spoken words. “Not at all. I’m merely worried.”
Anne sighed, “I appreciate your concern; however, it is not necessary.”
“Would you like to take a stroll around the gardens?” Lord Gillingham asked, stepping closer and offering her his arm.
Anne glanced over her shoulder. “I’m afraid I cannot. I’m waiting for a friend.”
Lord Gillingham’s smile faded. “It seems we’re always interrupted.” He moved closer, and his gaze sought hers in a way that made Anne want to turn and run. “I lost not one, but two chances to kiss you today.” His gaze drifted lower to touch upon her lips. “But perhaps a third will present itself.”
Repelled by his frank words, Anne took a step back. “You’ve been very kind, my lord,” she told him, doing her best not to sound as repulsed as she felt, “but I feel compelled to inform you that…my heart beats for another.” There, she’d said it! Not to Tobias, but at least she’d managed to tell Lord Gillingham how she felt.
Thus far, Anne had been reluctant, hoping that the man would come to understand her short, indifferent answers and lack of interest for what they were. She’d hoped he would realize that she did not care for him and bestow his attentions elsewhere. However, it would seem open words were needed after all.
Lord Gillingham’s face darkened. “That cannot be true.”
“But it is,” Anne insisted, wishing he would simply take his leave and go. “My heart beats for another and has for a while.”
His lips thinned. “You’ve misled me,” he gritted out on a hissed breath.
Anne frowned. “I’ve done no such thing. I’ve spoken to you as a friend, no more and no less. But I am sorry if you’ve misunderstood my intentions.”