Lucy’s gaze held on something in the distance, but he had the distinct feeling she saw something else entirely. A memory of her own home prior to her parents’ death? He wanted to reach out and squeeze her arm, anything to let her know he was sorry for her loss. To lose both her mother and father at such a tender age must’ve been terribly difficult.
“What of you, Mr. Raybourne?” Lucy brought her attention back to the conversation. “Are you anxious to return to London?”
“Not especially.” His apartment served as a comfortable place to live but little else. Graham, his eldest brother, and his wife would be celebrating the holiday with her family. Thomas and his new wife would do the same. Hugh would’ve been an extra no matter who he spent it with. “Though I would hate to wear out my welcome here. How is Mrs. Penrose feeling this evening?”
“She’s well, though a bit out of sorts at being in a strange place with a different routine. She prefers her own home and schedule.” Her quiet yet wistful smile said so much. She exhibited endless patience with the demands of both her aunt and her cousin.
He was beginning to see her many admirable traits as she once again changed the topic with the hope of drawing out Miss Barnes.
As the two women spoke, he glanced over to where Emma and Barnes conversed. Emma batted her eyes at something he said, making Hugh wonder how often she’d done that to him without him realizing it. The movement as well as her expression seemed contrived from this distance. He’d have to pay closer attention next time he was with her.
“Were you speaking about the snow?” Viscount Jameson asked as he joined them, his gaze holding on Miss Barnes.
Was there something between the pair, Hugh wondered? That would be ideal as it would leave more time for Hugh to spend with Emma. Yet when the viscount’s gaze shifted to Lucy, irritation slid through Hugh. Lucy treated him in the same warm, friendly manner she displayed with everyone. She was too kind for her own good.
He berated himself at the thought. How easy it was to forget his purpose here when he was with Lucy. He needed to worry more about Emma and less about her. To that end, he excused himself from the group and circled the room until he arrived at Emma’s side. Barnes appeared less than happy to see him.
After finding a way to compliment Emma, he kept the conversation on her, hoping to learn more about her. He had yet to select a gift for her or her mother as he wanted to have a better idea of what they might like before making a purchase. He’d brought a fine bottle of port for Mr. Waverly that he was sure the man would enjoy. Hugh intended to journey to the small village to find something for the ladies there in the coming days.
Yet his gaze continually wandered back to Lucy, despite his best intentions. If only he was free to make choices about his future based on his heart rather than money, this would be a perfect Christmas. But if he wanted something more in his life that provided both a purpose and an income other than gambling, he needed to marry well. With a resigned sigh, he turned away.
Chapter Five
“Oh my.” Lucy stared out the window the next morning, delighted to see the snow was still falling. Large flakes swayed gently down, creating a peaceful scene, and a significant amount had fallen during the night. Perfect for their plan to gather greenery as it meant they could take the sleighs to the woods.
Thank goodness Aunt Edith had given her approval. The thought of missing the outing was too painful to consider. She had fond memories of collecting holly, mistletoe, and boughs of evergreens in years past.
She and Aunt Edith had done little to celebrate Christmas in the past few years other than have roasted goose for Christmas dinner, attend church services, and give gifts to the servants on Boxing Day. If Aunt Jane and Uncle Andrew had invited Aunt Edith and her for Christmas during that time, Lucy hadn’t known about it. Already this had been a delightful holiday.
Never mind that a good portion of the reason was Hugh.
Had Emma managed more time alone with Mr. Barnes? Lucy hoped so, or it meant Lucy would be visiting with Miss Barnes again. She liked the lady well enough but preferred to spend time with whom she chose. While she understood Emma’s wish to make certain she married the right man, Lucy didn’t think it would require a kiss for her to know.
She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the frosted windowpane, her thoughts filled with Hugh. The same emotions arose whenever they were together. If only she could halt the tumult of her feelings for him. Emma must never know of her attraction. But hiding what she felt was becoming more difficult.
She hoped Emma didn’t select Hugh. And she hoped Emma didn’t ask her opinion. It was impossible to be objective about the other two gentlemen when they paled compared to Hugh.
She gave herself a mental shake. Her feelings didn’t matter. She had nothing to offer him. Nor could she leave Aunt Edith. Besides, the idea of growing to love someone was too frightening.
When her parents died, everything had been stripped away. She couldn’t bear to endure that again. Caring for another meant opening herself up to the chance of heartbreak once more. She simply couldn’t do it.
The realization calmed her, easing the yearning that had crept over her. In a week, she’d go home with Aunt Edith and life would return to normal. She should enjoy every moment of the party to gather memories for the days ahead. She might be lonely at times, but lonely meant safe.
With renewed determination, she washed and dressed, then looked in on her aunt to find her sleeping peacefully. She went downstairs to the dining room for breakfast only to stop short in the doorway, the longing that speared through her bringing her to a halt.
Hugh was the only one in the room and sat at the table with a heaping plate and a steaming cup of coffee before him. He stood at the sight of her, a smile on his face. “Good morning, Miss Gray.”
“And to you, Mr. Raybourne. I hope the day finds you well.” She reminded herself to hold tight to her defenses and shoved away her awareness of him.
“Indeed.”
“Please continue with your meal,” she requested and turned to the sideboard to help herself to the offerings. After selecting coddled eggs and sausage, she took a seat two places down from Hugh on the opposite side. Far enough to protect herself but not so far as to be rude.
A footman brought her a cup of warm chocolate, a treat to which she was becoming accustomed. Aunt Edith only drank tea and saw no need to have anything else.
“The snow will make our outing this morning quite the challenge,” Hugh said before sipping his coffee, his attire impeccable as always.
“We’ll take the sleighs to the woods.” Lucy couldn’t stop her smile.
“The cold doesn’t seem to bother you.”
“I wouldn’t want to stay outside the entire day, but there’s something fresh that comes with the snow.”
“My favorite part is when we return to enjoy a warm fire.”
Lucy chuckled. “I like that as well.”
If only he wasn’t so easy to converse with. Viscount Jameson was nice, but he didn’t go out of his way to amuse her the way Hugh did. Mr. Barnes’ shy manner might appeal to Emma, but Lucy found talking to him required too much effort.
Emma had yet to express a preference for a specific suitor. Mayhap that was why she was determined to kiss them all. Thank goodness Emma hadn’t kissed Hugh...at least not yet.