Her eyes went wide with surprise. Or was that fear in their dark depths? She stood abruptly, the horse figurine clutched in her hands. “I’m sorry.” She shook her head adamantly. “That’s just not possible.”
Disappointment struck him to the quick, and suddenly he couldn’t breathe. He rose slowly, unable to understand. How could he have been so wrong about her feelings? “I see.”
“My apologies if I gave you the wrong impression,” she said, her chest heaving. Was she about to cry or was it panic that caused her upset? “I have enjoyed our acquaintance, but it can be nothing more.” She glanced away. “I must go. My aunt will be wondering where I am.”
Before he could find his voice, she hurried from the room, taking his heart with her.
Chapter Ten
“How was your Christmas?” Thomas asked as he strode into Hugh’s study in his apartment.
Hugh didn’t bother to rise at his brother’s arrival. He couldn’t be bothered to do much of anything since Lucy had denied him.
The New Year was fast approaching, but he had yet to venture out since his return. He’d spent the first two days drinking, though spirits had provided little comfort, only an aching head.
“Fine.” Hugh kept telling himself he was fine. That his Christmas had been fine. That his life was fine. The lie came more easily now.
Thomas paused before him, green eyes narrowed. “You don’t look fine.” He glanced about the room as if noting its general untidiness and the closed drapes. “Did you give your valet the week off?”
Hugh followed his brother’s gaze, realizing he’d left books he’d tried to read as well as news sheets lying about along with empty glasses. “He’s given up on this room for the foreseeable future.”
“Humph. Are you going to ask how my Christmas was?”
“I have no doubt it was spent in wedded bliss with your lovely bride.” Hugh was pleased for his brother. Truly. Thomas’s happiness since his marriage to Annabelle was one of the reasons Hugh held hope for love and a true partnership in marriage.
Alas, it was not to be. The realization had him considering an empty glass and whether he could find the energy to rise and fill it. Instead, he ran a finger over the embroidered horse on his handkerchief.
“It was indeed.” Thomas smiled as he moved to open the drapes, letting in daylight. Then he placed a few more coals on the fire. “Does this mean you proposed?”
“More or less.” Hugh stared at the flames but only saw a pair of brown eyes wide with surprise—or had it been fright? He still wasn’t sure. Fear made no sense. Surely Lucy wasn’t frightened of him.
Thomas turned with one brow lifted. “How does one more or less propose?”
Hugh didn’t answer, not caring to relive the moment when Lucy had refused him. He’d done that often enough in the dark hours of the nights since his return. Even the thought of it had him pressing a hand over his aching heart.
Thomas shook his head. “I can only surmise that you’ve succumbed to one of the two L’s based on your current condition.”
“I fear it’s far worse.”
“Oh?”
“I’ve succumbed to both love and lust.”
Thomas chuckled but quickly fell silent at Hugh’s glare. “I’m sorry. The initial experience is not always pleasant. It caused me no small measure of alarm.”
“My suit was refused.”
“Truly?” Thomas settled into the chair opposite Hugh’s. “I thought Miss Waverly was quite enamored with you.”
“I didn’t make an offer to Miss Waverly.”
“To whom did you?” Thomas looked thoroughly puzzled.
Hugh didn’t blame him. He didn’t understand it either. “Miss Waverly’s cousin, Miss Lucy Gray, who, of course, was the wrong woman, but turned out to be the right woman.” He shook his head at his convoluted thoughts. The lady had him tangled in knots.
“I don’t believe I know her.”
“Nor had I. She remains tucked away in the countryside, caring for her aunt, a woman who seems to be perpetually ill, both in temper and body.” He grimaced as that wasn’t completely true. Her aunt had smiled at least twice in his presence. Perhaps not at him, but she had smiled.
“How unfortunate for Miss Gray.”
Hugh rose to pace the room, warming to the subject. “You’d think she would welcome a chance to escape. But no. She’d rather remain with her aunt practically in seclusion rather than allowing me to call on her.”
“You don’t say.”
“No matter the kisses we shared.” He strode toward the opposite end of the room, welcoming the bout of temper. It felt far better than the case of the grim he’d had since his return. “Lucy is the one who kissed me the second time. That can only mean she felt something. Of course, mistletoe was involved.” He waved his hand in the air.
“Of course.” Thomas nodded when Hugh glanced at him. “It was Christmas after all.”
Hugh frowned, realizing Thomas was highly entertained by his tirade.
“Where are her parents?” his brother asked, clearly making an effort to smother his amusement.
“They died just after Lucy turned sixteen. She lost everything. Her parents, her home, her horse.”
“I should’ve known a horse was involved,” Thomas muttered as he shifted in his chair.
Well aware of Thomas’s opinion on horses due to an unfortunate incident during their childhood, Hugh ignored his remark. “She lost her future as well.” Hugh’s heart pinched at the thought of her world shattering.
“She must be grateful her aunt took her in.”
“She is, and despite everything, she’s not bitter or resentful.”
“Just scared.” Thomas shook his head.
“Scared?” Hugh frowned, seeing the hint of panic in her eyes once again.
“It would be difficult to reach for love and happiness again when you’ve had it before and lost it.”
“But this is different.”
“How so?” Thomas asked.
Hugh had no answer so turned to pace the length of the room, his thoughts churning. “I would never hurt her.”
“Not intentionally. I’m certain her parents thought the same. Then there’s also her gratitude to her aunt,” Thomas continued. “How could she consider leaving her?”
“Of course.” Hugh closed his eyes as the truth sank in. How could he not have realized all this?
“Now what?”
“How do you mean?” Hugh asked.
“What are you going to do next?”
“What can I do? She refused my request to call on her.”
Thomas scoffed. “Since our childhood, you’ve had the determination to go after what you want.” He stood and drew closer, looking Hugh in the eye. “Love is a gift. Don’t let it go without a fight.”
Hugh considered him for a moment. “I thought younger brothers weren’t supposed to be the smarter ones.”
Thomas smiled as he clasped Hugh’s shoulder. “I only want you to find the same happiness I have. Now then, my work here is done. Please keep me apprised of the situation. I see another trip to the country in your future.”