I was interchangeable. I was just the human in the Sheffield house threatening the pack.
This just underlined the fact that Rand was an entirely different species. He wasn’t human. He hadn’t even been thinking with his dick when he’d wanted me in bed. No, he was a shifter, and he’d had the mating urge. Nothing more.
He was part of a pack. A pack that didn’t permit human matings until two years ago. A pack that apparently had a really big problem with me opening a B&B here.
I didn’t even know what was real.
I really didn’t. Why didn’t he just outright say they didn’t want that type of business next door? Out of everyone, I’d have understood. Hadn’t Uncle Adam and I both kept their secret all this time?
I pushed into the house and ran up to my bedroom, collapsing on the bed. When I’d moved here, I’d been used to being alone. I didn’t mind the idea of living out here by myself.
But now the idea suddenly terrified me. With the windows open, I could hear the crickets, nothing more. Loneliness blew through the house like a tidal wave, drowning me. All my time here had been filled with Rand. Rand’s smile, his wink. His clever tongue between my legs. His ever present concern for me and the property.
Ugh—the property!
Was he really just after my house?
No. No, I couldn’t believe that. I hadn’t felt that. I didn’t have much faith in people, including my own parents, but I thought I would’ve known if he’d been playing me the whole time. He’d spent hours poking holes all over the house to fix the wiring.
He’d looked devastated when I broke things off. He’d actually begged for me to stay. But was it him doing the begging or the need of his wolf?
I turned my face into the pillow, but the tears had dried up. Now I felt nothing but the heaviest weight on my chest. In my limbs.
I couldn’t even move. I had no idea what to even do. How to function.
Maybe if I closed my eyes, I’d fall asleep and could forget this day ever happened.
Except what would happen tomorrow? I couldn't bear the thought of restarting my life here without Rand. He’d already become such a huge part of it.
The only part that mattered.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out. There were texts coming in from Rand, but even the thought of reading them tore a crater in my heart. I turned my phone off and closed my eyes.
Tomorrow, I would figure out what to do.
Tomorrow, I would somehow go on.
23
RAND
“Get him in the truck.” I vaguely heard the bark of my alpha as the guys shoved me into the back of Clint’s pickup.
I didn’t know where they were taking me or what happened.
The moment Natalie left the barbecue, I’d gone catatonic. I’d fallen to my knees, and the howling of my wolf grew too loud to hear anything else.
Levi, Nash and Johnny climbed in the back of the truck with me, but they avoided eye contact, like my pain might be contagious.
Or maybe they were afraid I’d try to fight.
I didn’t feel like fighting, though. It was more like I was frozen. Unable to move or function. It must’ve been my body’s or brain’s survival strategy to cope with the pain of watching my mate walk away.
Forever.
This can’t work, Rand.
Oh, fuck! My mate felt betrayed by me! She thought Rob sent me to woo her for her land. As the truck started to climb the road to the mountain, I scrambled to pull out my phone, my brain finally kicking into gear.
With clumsy thumbs, I managed to text a message to Natalie.
Please believe me. You are my mate. I hit send.
Fuck. That wasn’t the right thing to say. No way should I remind her about my wolf. I tried again.
You are my soul. My love. My everything.
But those were just words. They meant nothing. What was really the issue? I rubbed my jaw. She thought my love wasn’t real because Rob had asked me to change her mind about the B&B.
Rob. The alpha. I wasn’t even there because of my wolf. That she’d understood, had accepted and let me back in. But not the entire fucking pack.
And then I knew. I had to be willing to turn my back on my pack if necessary. I had to choose my mate over the pack. That she was what mattered. That was the only way to prove myself. I could be a shifter with her, but she’d know it was my human who’d made the choice. That I wasn’t being driven by my wolf.
I typed, If you truly want a B&B, I will stand by your side all the way. The thought made me slightly nauseated, knowing the implication for the pack, but I didn’t care. Rob had dealt with Boyd mating Audrey when there hadn’t been any precedent. He’d flexed for that. Then came Colton and Marina. Same went for his other brother. And they’d mated females who hadn’t known about shifters. Natalie knew. She’d almost always known. And kept the secret. Respected the pack.
Losing Natalie wasn’t worth preserving pack privacy because Rob had always had it. He could just deal. And Nathan? That fucker better find a new pack because he wasn’t welcome here. But he was Rob’s problem.
All I cared about was Natalie.
Then I sent the words,
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
Until Nash grabbed the phone out of my hand.
And then I was ready to fight. I tackled him to the truck bed even as it bumped along down the dirt road.
“Hang on, chill the fuck out,” he sputtered, releasing my phone and showing his neck in surrender. “I just think maybe you should clear your head before you keep texting her. The females thought she needed space. They’re human. They can see what you can’t about Natalie right now. If any one of them was here, they’d toss your cell out the truck. Texting her every second isn’t giving her space.”
“He’s right,” Levi agreed. “Put the phone away until after you’ve had a run.”
I looked around, finally understanding where they were taking me. Up to the mountaintop to shift and run. I felt like I was coming out of my skin. Now I could really do that.
I released Nash and rolled off him. I would’ve said thanks, but I was still too fucking grumpy. Instead, I dropped to my back and crossed my arms over my eyes until the truck rolled to a stop in front of the pack lodge.
“Get him out,” I heard Rob command.
“I’m coming.” It felt like I was wading through mud just to move, but I climbed out of the truck. All on my own.
“Come on, let’s run it off,” Rob said, stripping off his own clothes. We didn’t need to open up the building. We’d leave our things by the truck. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and no one was going to come up here and steal our shit.
All the guys were there—Clint, Nash, Rob, Boyd, Colton, Levi, and Johnny. They all kicked off their boots and stripped. My pack brothers, here for me in my pain.
They understood.
I swallowed hard and took off my clothes, shifting and running. The group flanked me. It wasn’t a playful run, but it wasn’t aggressive, either. We just ran fast and hard all the way to the top of the mountain and around the back side. When we looped around to the Wolf Ranch side I skidded to a stop, the gravel sliding under my paws. I stared down at Natalie’s property.