Tori handed the phone back over to Baldewin, who was feeling more than a little relieved. Cameron had indeed been the right one to call. “Hallo,” he said as he placed it against his ear.
“I think mage negotiations were mostly successful. Give him some time, and I think he’ll come around.”
“I think you’re right.”
“Good, because you need to get your sexy asses back to the ranch, okay? Alric’s slowly losing hair over here, he’s that worried. And I really like his hair.”
“I understand,” Baldewin said with a smirk. “Thank you, Cameron.”
“Nichts zu danken. Gute Nacht.”
“Gute Nacht.” He hung up the phone and smiled at Tori. “Thank you for talking to him.”
Tori just shrugged, seeming unsure how to respond. “Help me take the bandages off?”
“Of course.”
Holy crap, he was really doing this!
Tori sat on the deck chair with his feet up on the railing as the ferry—which was really more like a cruise ship—steadily moved away from the port. They sailed through the archipelago, weaving effortlessly between the hundreds of little islands that dotted the bay as they crossed the Baltic Sea to Estonia.
He’d thought finally making the leap to escape his clan had been a huge decision. Yes, he’d planned it for a few years, but actually taking those final steps hadn’t been easy, and he’d second-guessed himself for the first two days.
This felt bigger, but strangely enough, easier. Maybe it was because he’d already made such a big change in his life. But a lot of it had to do with what Cameron had said to him, what his words quietly promised. A home. A place to belong.
Despite all his dreams of independence away from his clan and the freedom to be himself without constant derision and censor, Tori didn’t want to be alone. He’d spent his entire life surrounded by people he knew. They might not want him, but there was no question he was a part of the clan. He had a place, a job.
It was a shitty place and a horrible job, but he’d still belonged.
The moment he’d left Nuorgam and arrived in Helsinki, that was all gone. He didn’t belong anywhere, and he had no purpose. It was terrifying and empty.
But the Burkhard Clan was the promise of something completely different and startlingly beautiful, if it was real. It all sounded too good to be true, and Tori was used to a lifetime of disappointment.
Except there was Cameron.
Just the existence of Cameron proved at least some of it had to be true.
The Burkhard Clan, right now at least, promised to be a place that wouldn’t care he was gay. Their own king had taken a husband. And Warin had mentioned Cameron’s twin sister Cassie was mated with a female dragon. Double proof that a same-sex relationship wasn’t frowned upon by the clan.
And then there was the fact Cameron was a male mage. Positions of leadership within the Taavi Clan had been held by female mages for as long as Tori could remember. If a male attained any kind of power in their clan, it was solely because he was married to a powerful female mage.
Growing up, there had only been eight other male mages around his age. Male mages were never allowed dreams of being civic leaders. No, they were all quickly sorted into those who were good with magic and those who were not. Those who were magically inclined were groomed to be good husbands, because, of course, a strong male spellcaster would breed more strong mages.
Those who weren’t good at magic were quickly informed it was unlikely they would marry. And if they did, they’d have to choose from the humans. There was no way they’d be allowed near a female mage with their clearly inferior genes. If they managed to give birth to a mage with a female human, then maybe they wouldn’t be a total outcast in their clan.
And then there was Tori.
A gay male mage. Weak in magic. And he would never give the clan another mage, male or female. He couldn’t be more useless. Even a human descendant of the clan had a slim chance of producing a mage. He never would.
But Cameron had mentioned something about magical incubators that would allow a same-sex couple to have a baby. Cameron had said he’d be welcome even if he never wanted to have children.
He did.
He’d never allowed himself to dream of it. His life in the Taavi Clan promised he’d be alone until the day he died. There would be no children. No baby of his own flesh and blood to cuddle in his arms.
Sitting on the ferry, he knew he hadn’t accepted the offer just because a clan without homophobia and sexism was being waved in his face. It wasn’t even the promise of potentially finding a mate who would love and cherish him, who would want children with him.
The tipping point had been the promise of actually being a mage. After all these years, there was a chance of finding someone who could teach him magic so he could truly understand it. He knew deep in his soul that he was a mage and he could do magic. He could feel it. He just needed the chance. And after listening to Cameron describe his own progress, as well as his grandmother’s, Tori hoped this Lisette could work some miracles for him.
Clinging to hope after so many disappointments in life was a terrifying thing, but what was he left with? He had no clan. The Jaeggi were hunting him in Helsinki. He had no job, no money, and no prospects. Why not take a chance? What did he have to lose at this point?
After talking to Cameron, he didn’t think the mage would leave him stranded in Germany if he chose to walk away from the clan. He’d just find himself back in Helsinki with no clan, no money, and no job. Same as he was right now.
If anything, he was a little disturbed by the fact he didn’t feel more when it came to leaving the country of his birth—possibly forever. He had too few happy memories of Finland, and it wasn’t like he’d made very many during the brief time he lived in Helsinki.
Maybe this was all for the best.
Even if things didn’t work out with the dragons in Germany, this could be the kick in the ass he needed to get even farther away from his clan and really start fresh. He could make a new life for himself. Maybe he’d even change his name. No one from his old clan would be able to find him then. Not that they were really looking that hard. He was still getting texts or calls from his parents, but it was down to just one or two a day instead of the near-constant harassment he’d experienced when he first left.
While he didn’t know what was going to happen next, he did feel confident that the dragons were an improvement on his previous life and even the other mages he’d encountered.
Baldewin hadn’t been content to simply buy a trio of tickets for the ferry from Helsinki to Tallinn, Estonia. No, the dragon had to get them a private room with a private deck on the outer part of the ship so they could sit in cushioned chairs and watch the scenery slowly pass by them. It was insanity.
The ride from Helsinki to Tallinn was less than three hours, but Baldewin stated that he was worried about Tori’s health and safety after his encounter with the Jaeggi. A private room was absolutely necessary to make sure the mage was properly recovered prior to their long road trip from Estonia to Germany.
Tori shrugged. Who was he to argue with how the dragon spent his money?
It wasn’t like the room itself was lavish. Decorated in warm tones with a double bed and a sitting area, the room was comfortable and cozy, but the real draw was the deck.