I close my eyes and exhale a shaky breath. I bite down on my lower lip to stop myself from crying. Far too many memories have been created here for it to all slip away.
“Rainey?” Livingston says behind me.
I open my eyes, blinking rapidly. The garden is pristine. Just as it should be. I know most people would prefer it in this condition, but I loved it best with errant flowers from kids’ footfalls. I turn, with a smile fixed on my face. “Here we are. I believe these are the rest of the ledgers.”
I hold them out for Livingston to take. He makes a small grunt when he takes the brunt of all the weight. “Do you know Pleas kept a very detailed account of the financial records?”
Sadly, I smile. “I’m sure he did.”
Livingston looks away momentarily and then back at me. More uncomfortable silence. As quickly as possible, I think of anything to fill the void. “When he was at college, he tried his best to keep order of everythin’ but it was too consumin’ so Momma had our accountant take over. It was the same for when he went to war.”
“Makes sense considerin’ he is the accountant.”
I smirk. “Miles was a very patient, yet a controllin’ man. He wanted to do everythin’ his way. In any case, let me find the ledgers that were balanced by the accountant.” I grab the first ledger from the top of the stack, but I instantly recognize Miles’s handwriting.
I lean closer to Livingston until our shoulders are pressed together and open the ledger at the top of the stack. As I flip through the pages trying to find the any evidence of our family accountant, Livingston’s dips his head and … did he smell my hair? I freeze, mid-turn of the page, blindly staring at the numbers below. He smelled my hair. I know he did. I heard the slight inhale. The brush of his nose. Why did he do that? Better yet, why is my heart beating like a drum?
Livingston’s body becomes rigid beside me, as though he realizes he was caught. Slowly, he pulls away from the crown of my head. I continue to look at the ledger as if nothing occurred but now it’s all I can think of. The numbers on the pages look like a different language.
“I spoke with Étienne today,” he blurts.
I can’t help but arch a brow. Livingston speaks with his brother every day. “Oh?”
His jaw clenches and unclenches, as if he’s struggling to say his words. I become alert. “We both think it’s imperative that while you pursue Serene’s absurd bachelor idea we have our lawyer look at Miles’s will. See if there’s a chance there are loopholes.”
I don’t mind the bachelors. I’m not against the attention. It’s quite nice having men wanting to fawn all over me, while Livingston turns into a big ball of fury. He believes I do not notice.
I do.
I notice everything about him, even when I try my hardest not to. I believe he attempts to do the same with me. Even now, he’s going out of his way to find a better opportunity for me to receive my dowry without marrying. But something about his statement doesn’t seem right to me. Étienne’s stoic, and at times blunt. He wouldn’t have Livingston speak for the two of them.
“Question, were Étienne’s exact words, absurd bachelor idea?”
At that, Livingston averts his gaze and scratches the back of his neck. Several seconds go by before he answers. “No. But it was heavily implied.”
“Of course,” I say, deciding to go along with this charade of his. “And why does he not care for the bachelors?”
Livingston places the heavy ledgers on the chair beside him, crosses his arms, and narrows his eyes, while I stare on with an innocent expression. “Because he believes they might pursue you for monetary ambition.”
“And does that truly matter? I myself have monetary ambition. Perhaps our ambitions can be the one thing we bond over.”
Livingston leans in, light eyes ablaze. “Greed is not somethin’ you want to bond over. Trust me on this.”
I mimic his actions. “It’s not greed, but desperation. And I’ll trust you the minute you admit that he is not Étienne, but you.”
Livingston takes a step back and throws his hands in the air. “All right. Fine. I believe this is absurd, and I haven’t concealed that. Figured I’d say my brother was in agreement with me so you would change your mind. It’s apparent I was wrong. You’ll continue to see these men no matter who asks you not to.”
“You thought Étienne’s opinion would change my mind?”
“Perhaps. You seem to do the opposite of everythin’ I say.”
“I’ve always done that.”
There’s got to be a better way of savin’ your family from financial ruin than virtually sellin’ yourself.”
My cheeks turn red from anger. “I am not sellin’ myself.”
Livingston looks me straight in the eye. “I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. This is not the way to go about everythin’.”
“I wish there was a different way.”
“Well, there could be. When I visited Étienne, I asked him to look at your family’s finances.” My shoulders become tense. Livingston quickly speaks. “This means the process can move faster. And I know I told you, you had my discretion and I meant it, but I promise you, Étienne has a remarkable eye with findin’ error. It won’t take him long to discover the outcome of your finances.” He pauses, watching me carefully. “Are you comfortable with that?”
Right now, I need all the help I can get. Livingston doesn’t need to solicit his brother’s strengths. I know his twin’s business acumen is unrivaled. This is for the best. I give Livingston a genuine smile. “Of course. I trust Étienne.”
Livingston taps the ledger on top and nods. “Then I’ll give one of these books for Étienne to look through as soon as I can.”
“Thank you.”
Livingston dips his head and looks away. Within seconds the silence fills the room is strained. Whenever Livingston and I have extended conversations that are cordial we don’t know what to do with ourselves. It goes out of our typical area of comfort.
“Excellent. I will be on my way then.” At the door, he looks over his shoulder at me, as though he’s forgotten something. “Since Étienne is willin’ to help, I’m more than happy to tell Serene that this bachelor charade is over.”
Oh, that sneaky little bastard. “Absolutely not!”
He stares at the ceiling and shakes his head. “You still want to proceed with this bachelor charade?”
“I have no choice, Livingston.”
He holds the ledgers between us, slightly blocking his face from view. “I’m givin’ you a choice now.”
“Can you or Étienne find a way out of this financial ruin tomorrow? Can you guarantee that I will not have to marry a man or use this dowry to keep the home I grew up in from bein’ taken from my momma?”
The sound of his silence is the only answer I need. I sigh. “That’s what I was afraid of. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get ready. A bachelor will be here shortly to take me on a walk through the park.”
“I can loan you the money.”
Livingston’s words cause me to become frozen. Arching a brow, I remain silent as I process his words and attempt to think of the best reply.