There was another set of bruises, going diagonally across my chest, my fingers traced it slowly, but I couldn’t figure out what could have caused them for the life of me.
“It’s from the seatbelt, sir, when you crashed,” Moses spoke when he saw what I was looking at.
“What?” I thought back as hard as I could to the night before. I didn’t remember crashing into anything. I actually don’t remember anything after fighting the man at the bar. Did I leave after that? “When did I crash? Where?”
“It’s unbelievable you made it back here before you plowed through the memorial statue. Luckily, that heavy piece of marble fell back and not into the car. You would have been crushed.”
“Fucking hell, when were you going to tell me about it?”
Moses looked around like he was confused by my question, “Cassian, when exactly was I going to tell you about it? While you were passed out drunk, when you were choking on gallons of liquor and bile, or maybe while I was giving you mouth to mouth to get you to breath again? I thought now, as you are awake and talking, would be the ideal time to let you know.”
This time I opened my mouth to retort, but he was right. There was no time like the present. “You kissed me? I bet you’ve been waiting your entire life to do that.”
Moses blushed slightly and looked away. He was very private about his sexuality, but I liked to poke fun as often as possible. “I beg your pardon, sir, but the last thing I ever want is to put my mouth on any part of you. I’d die a happy man if I never had to go through such a thing again.”
I scoffed before I walked out of the bathroom and back over to my bed. Whatever Dr. Slava gave me must have taken away my hangover because I felt surprisingly well-rested. I was achy from everything I’d been through, but I felt ok. That meant it was time to celebrate. I reached over to the corner and pulled out a bottle of Grey Goose I’d forgotten to return to the kitchen.
“Cassian, are you serious? You can’t be!” Moses rushed over to where I was now sitting on my bed, fighting to get the top off the bottle.
He tore the bottle from my grasp, and I looked at him like he had lost his mind. How dare he touch what is mine.
“Moses, the only reason I don’t fire you right now is because you have worked for my family for thirty years, but even my respect for your longevity is running dangerously thin. Give me my goddamn bottle back.”
“Cassian, you literally drank yourself to death two days ago, and you think I’m going to let you do it again?”
“Wait, it was two days ago?”
Moses rolled his eyes and turned to go back to the bathroom with the bottle of vodka in his hands.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I jumped up from the bed and rushed behind him. It was only a second before anger and another emotion I couldn’t place rushed over my body.
Moses was pouring the liquor down the drain.
“You fucking bastard!” I grabbed at the man’s shoulders and tried to pull him back, but he didn’t budge.
“Cassian, I am not going to sit back and allow you to kill yourself. Not if there’s something I can do to stop it.”
Sweat popped up on my brow, and I could feel my bruised chest heaving up and down faster to keep up with my need to suck in more air. I couldn’t believe he was doing this. How fucking dare he!
“Moses, I’m going to give you one more second, then I am going to bash your hard-headed skull in. Give me my shit!” I tried to reach around him, but he just swiveled his hips to block me.
I roared in frustration as the sweet acid was poured down the drain. I knew there was no way that I would be able to reach around the man, but I also knew I needed to get the bottle away from him. Not because I needed it, I had dozens of bottles just in my room alone. It was the principle of the matter. He had no right.
I reach down, grabbing the first thing that my hand came into contact with on the large sink counter. I raised it and swung it with all I had against the side of Moses’ face.
“Mother fuck!” Moses bellowed as he smacked his hands to his face and fell back to the wall, in the process dropping the three-quarter empty bottle of liquor on the floor.
It wasn’t until the glass shards stopped tinkling against the sink did I realize what I’d done in my rage. I had picked up the crystal soap dish and smashed it against the man’s face. The blood seeping from between his fingers was enough for me to know I’d done some damage.
Oh no.
For the briefest of seconds, I felt myself go back to my days at boarding school, back to when I was a young child scared of my own shadow. Everything that went wrong was always my fault, and even when it had nothing to do with me, I was still to blame. For the longest time, I’d do anything to ensure no one was upset with me.
“Moses, next time I tell you to let go of my shit, I’m sure you’ll think twice about disobeying me. Have you learned your lesson?”
Moses looked at me like I was Satan, not so much with fear but pure hatred. I was used to it; part of me enjoyed it if I was honest with myself. “Yes, sir.” He ground out through clenched teeth, the blood from the wound on his face trickling over his taut lips.
“Wonderful, now get yourself patched up, and when you’re done, send someone in here to clean this shit up.” I bent down and grabbed the bottle of Grey Goose from the floor before I turned to leave the large bathroom. “Wasted a perfectly good soap dish on your bullshit.”
I tipped the bottle to my lips and let the remainder of the alcohol slide down my throat and enter my belly. I didn’t even hear Moses exit the bathroom, but he was there when I turned around.
“Cassian, I’m saying this as the only person that can. You have a problem. The drink is going to get you or someone else killed. You will either end up in jail or dead. You’re going to get yourself into something not even your daddy’s money can buy you out of.”
The bottle left my hand and hurtled toward his head, and this time, I didn’t care if he died. I’d laugh as I watched him bleed out. “Don’t you ever fucking bring my father into this again! It’s my fucking money! Mine!”
He didn’t flinch as the bottle careened past him and exploded against the wall. Moses just stood there and waited for me to finish yelling at him.
“I don’t have a goddamn problem. What’s the big deal if I want to have a drink now and again? So what? I am so tired of everyone trying to fucking control me. I would rather sit back and watch this whole company burn.”
“As you wish, sir.”
That was all he said. There wasn’t even a shred of pity in his voice. Just complete indifference. It pissed me the hell off.
I’d had enough of this. I walked over to the window, trying my hardest to ignore Moses and all his shit. After a few seconds of him not moving, I finally addressed him again. “Moses, get the fuck out and do what I asked you to do. I’m through here.”
He nodded once and left, drops of blood splattered against the cold marble floor as he walked out.
Chapter Four
“But grief makes a monster out of us sometimes . . . and sometimes you say and do things to the people you love that you can’t forgive yourself for.”