“Another false document? Great idea. No, Tanja. I’m not like my father. I keep my nose clean, along with the rest of my life.” He was terse now, annoyed that she was resisting his help. “Given the choice between throwing fuel on a messy story about abandoning my baby to my estranged wife or a very nice story about my wife and I starting a family, I’m going with the nice one.”
“Oh, that lie is fine? She’s not yours, Leon!”
“Check the paperwork you filed,” he snapped.
She flinched with hurt and looked away, mouth trembling but jaw pugnacious.
He pushed his hand through his hair as he gathered his patience. “Look, I believe it’s in Illi’s best interest for her to be with you. I’m not going to let anyone take her from you. You have my word on that.”
“Forgive me if I don’t think your promises are reliable.”
Maybe he deserved that, but it still cut like a whip.
“Like it or not, you made me responsible for her. I won’t shirk that responsibility.” He was not like his father, disregarding the needs of a child—his own son included—because it suited him. “You and I butting heads every minute won’t help.”
“I wish I’d never m—” She sealed her lips over whatever she’d been about to say.
“Met me? Married me? Then you wouldn’t have Illi, would you?” he summed up brutally.
He took the baby from her, something she was too weak to prevent, and she could utter only a disgruntled sound.
“I’ll keep her while you rest. Do you want to sleep here? On a lounger by the pool? I can help you back to the stateroom if you need it.”
She looked between him and the baby, her body trembling with anger.
“I’ve spent a lot of time thinking you’re a selfish jerk who is ruthless about getting what he wants. This doesn’t change my opinion.” She pushed to her feet and lost all her haughty air of superiority when she paled and had to hang on to the chair.
He steadied her, but she shook him off.
“Bring her up when she’s ready for her nap.”
“Of course,” he said, because he might be selfish and ruthless, but he was also capable of magnanimity—once he got what he wanted.
Tanja woke with a sense she wouldn’t fall back asleep. Not only had she been sleeping on and off for nearly twenty-four hours, but her mind leaped into a whirl of wondering what would happen now that her marriage was public. What would happen with her adoption of Illi? It was still so tentative.
She didn’t want to rely on Leon and his lawyers to sort things, but what choice did she have? Her financial resources were depleted, and she couldn’t work until she at least had a laptop and an internet connection. She couldn’t buy anything until she had some income. It was a catch-22.
“Why are you sighing like that? Are you in pain?”
Leon’s quiet voice beside her made her gasp and roll over, realizing as she did that he was lying on top of the covers beside her.
“What are you doing here?”
“Sleeping. Until you started huffing and puffing. Do you need a house blown down or something?”
“I’m just restless. Frustrated.”
He left a nice round silence for her to hear the suggestiveness of her own words.
“By my situation,” she clarified. “Jeez, seriously?”
“I didn’t say a thing,” he said mildly, but she had the sense he was laughing at her. He curled his arm beneath his pillow. He still wore the clothes he’d been wearing earlier, but she saw the pale glow of his bare feet in the dim light.
“You could have gone to bed properly. Somewhere else,” she pointed out.
“This is my bed,” he said drily. “The sofa is too short and I need to be able to hear Illi so you don’t have to get up. You didn’t even notice me here. Go back to sleep.”
“She’s in the lounge?” She lifted her head and cocked her ear, but their talking didn’t seem to be disturbing her. “Thank you for helping me look after her.”
“She said begrudgingly,” he mocked, voice still low with sleepy amusement.
“I do resent needing your help,” she admitted. “But you have to admit this is strange.”
“That you’ve woken me to talk? Yes.”
That caused such a stab of memory, of slithering against him in the night, naked skin brushing as their limbs twined, she made a noise of injury that she hoped he assumed was an impatient tsk.
“I forgot that you were up all last night. I’m sorry I woke you,” she said stiffly, and rolled so her back was to him.
“I’ve been asleep since Illi went down at seven. It’s fine.” The humor was gone from his voice and now it was tinged with something more serious. Conciliatory, perhaps. “What do you think is strange? That we’re five years fake married and now we’re faking that we have a baby together? It wasn’t on my bucket list, I’ll say that.”
She rolled back to face him even though she couldn’t see him in the dark. “Haven’t you wanted to...find someone else and get started on a family of your own?”
“No,” he said, low and prompt and unequivocal. “I never wanted kids.”
“Wow.” And ouch. She hadn’t expected such a strong response when he was actually very sweet with Illi. “I’m sorry we’re imposing then.”
“You’re not. My childhood was lousy. That’s all. I’m sure I told you that.”
He had, but he had always deflected when she tried to pry anything more out of him.
“From the outside, it looks as though you had everything you wanted. I was always surprised to hear you call your childhood ‘lousy.’”
“On the surface, I did have everything.” He sounded resentful, but she didn’t think it was directed at her. “The best food and clothes. Travel and education. It should have been ideal, but my parents’ marriage was horrific. That skewed my view of family. I never wanted to subject a child to that tension and manipulation.”
“I guess I should have asked if you wanted kids before we married. I always saw myself as getting married and having children. We really were doomed, weren’t we?”
There was a profound silence before he said, quietly but powerfully, “I thought so.”
That sent another knifing pain through her. “My God, Leon! Why did you even go through with it?”
“I told you. I wanted to get my father off my back.”