“No, I do,” he said with a rasp in his voice and a jerky step forward. His gaze went to the window where the white curtains glowed with a sudden burst of sunshine on this changeable spring day. “I think I’ve wanted to say it for a long time. Maybe I thought it wouldn’t matter. That it wouldn’t change anything because it never had in the past.”
Tanja set down the ceramic mug she had drawn from the cupboard, afraid her numb fingers would drop it to smash at her feet.
“I think I would have said it five years ago if I’d had time to understand what this feeling is.” He clenched his fist in front of his heart. “It hurts. You know? Like a muscle that aches so bad after a run you never want to exercise again. I’d almost rather throw up than feel this much. It’s too intense to bear.”
“It is,” she said, biting her lip. “It was how I felt when you left me.” Her lips trembled as she added, “And when I left you.”
“I’m mad at you for that,” he admitted with a ragged laugh. His clenched fist lowered. “Hypocritical, I know. I’m angry you divorced me even though it’s what I said I wanted and you used the money in the best possible way. But I’m angry because I want to be your husband, Tanja. I want to be Illi’s father and the father of as many kids as you want in whatever way you want to bring them into our lives. I love you. And I want you to love me, but—”
“No buts.” She rushed toward him and he caught her so tightly she couldn’t breathe, but she didn’t care.
“Say it again,” he commanded.
“I love you. That’s all it is and all it has to be, Leon. I love you. So much.”
He drew one shaken breath, then his mouth found hers. Their lips fused with perfection the way they always did, but with a new sweetness. The kiss was frantic with reunion, yet tender and familiar and new. It was imbued with a love that she was realizing had always been there, deep and soft and unacknowledged beneath every kiss they had ever exchanged.
Now it was real. True. Celebrated.
“Will you marry me?” He broke away only as far as he needed to whisper the proposal against her lips. “Again? This time I mean it. No escape clauses. We commit to facing our challenges together. Figure out how to get through them together because I will never let you go again.”
She showed him her hand where his diamond band sat securely on her finger, teasing her with flashes of hope and memories of passion and the symbol of an everlasting love she would feel forever, whether he did or not.
He captured her hand and kissed the inside of her wrist, clearly moved and not ashamed to let her see the sheen of emotion in his eyes. “You humble me.”
“I don’t think I could ever not feel married to you.”
“Me, either,” he said with bemusement. “I’m yours. I always will be.”
Tanja had always had love in her life, but she had never known this kind. It filled her until she could hardly bear the breadth of it, but it was so good, she greedily let it grow bigger and bigger inside her.
They kissed and kissed, but it wasn’t enough expression for the feelings that were surging between them, reacting and expanding. He lifted his head to glance toward the bedroom door. She drew him toward the tiny bedroom with its queen mattress in a wrought-iron frame. They sank onto the down-filled coverlet with mutual sighs.
The light shifted against the small window above the headboard, dimming. Rain began a homey patter against the roof as they tugged at each other’s clothing, pressing kisses against each bit of skin they exposed.
“I want to spend all day touching and kissing and feeling you,” he rasped. “I need every part of you.” His heart was slamming so hard she felt it against her own. “But realistically...?” he asked ruefully.
“Thirty minutes,” Tanja said on a soft laugh. “If we’re lucky.”
They got down to the serious business of reconciling. When he pressed inside her, their joining was deeply powerful, not simply because they’d been apart, but because their hearts were no longer shielded. Not one tiny bit.
“I love watching you come apart,” he said as he moved within her, gaze tender as it was locked with hers. “I love knowing this is as good for you as it is for me.”
“So good. Leon, I can’t wait...” She speared her fingers into his hair and arched as climax gripped her.
He quickened his pace, taking her over the edge and tumbling with her into the joyous chasm of completion.
They cuddled under the blankets after, naked and glowing, caressing and murmuring lazily about how they might split their time between here and Greece.
“You would spend that much time here for me?” she asked. She’d seen his life in Greece. It was very demanding, not something he could drop on a whim.
“You are the breath in my sails,” he said with a playful nibble of her chin. “I’ll go wherever you take me. Isn’t that obvious? Istuval. Parenthood...” He was teasing her, but that had been so poetic she teared up. “Agape mou,” he chided tenderly, kissing her better.
A questioning squawk of noise came from the other room. It was Illi’s usual noise that announced she’d awakened and wished to be noticed.
Leon and Tanja exchanged a look. Tanja’s chest swelled with anticipation as Leon fairly leaped from the bed to slip on his underwear. She pulled on his shirt and followed as far as the bedroom door, biting her lip.
“Louloudi mou,” he greeted as he approached the crib, calling her “flower” in the endearingly tender voice that undid everything inside Tanja. “How are you? I’ve missed you.”
Illi let out a happy crow of excitement, one loud enough to cause ear damage, but it made them both laugh through their winces, especially because her little limbs went everywhere.
“I was afraid she’d forgotten me,” he said with amused pleasure while Tanja clutched her heart and wondered how anyone could.
He cradled Illi into his shoulder and she curled herself into him, head on his shoulder while she bounced with delight.
Tanja was pretty sure her heart was going to bust right out of her chest.
Leon brought Illi to the bed and they played with her between them, exchanging light kisses over her excited squirms.
“Did I mention I want more kids?” He had hold of Illi’s foot and was rubbing his closely trimmed beard against her sole. “Not right this second. I think we should at least get married again—”
“I’m sorry I divorced you,” she said sheepishly.
“Don’t do it again,” he said lightly, but there was a flash of bleak pain in the dark depths of his eyes.