Silence.
“Sometimes we get a bit silly. The girl squealing made me turn my head. I didn’t mean for you to kiss me on the lips. It’s completely my fault. Will you be okay?” There’s an honesty in Liam’s voice, a desperate need to know he hasn’t upset me. I can’t hide any longer. I need to be brave.
I pull the sheets down so just my head is showing. Everything else is still buried deep within the comforting cotton bedclothes.
“It’s fine. I’m sorry as well. It was an accident. I’m being silly.”
“You’re not. I think we’ve both had a lot to take in today, and I think tiredness is probably taking over as well. We can talk again tomorrow and get everything sorted. I’m sorry I’m putting you through this. Thank you for accepting me and my friends and our world of crazy.” Liam gives me a woeful smile, and rising from the bed, he makes his way back to the door.
I don’t want him to go, though.
“Liam.” My voice is strange, like it isn’t really me speaking, but it is. I bite my lip and take a deep breath before speaking again. “None of this is your fault. I’m naïve. I don’t understand the world.” It’s a hard thing to admit. “I…I…” —the words are on my lips, but I find them hard to say— “I was raised in a cult, a family deeply devoted to chastity and the procreation of man.” I let out a laugh. It’s a mixture of nerves and the absurdity of the situation.
Liam raises an eyebrow at me.
“Sorry.” Procreation seems to be a word I keep having to repeat. “Yesterday, I ran away. I left with nothing but a linen white dress. I stole the clothes you found me in.”
Tears form in my eyes now as I remember what happened—the priest at the alter ready to marry me to a complete stranger, to bind me to a life devoted to the family I was brought up in and to breed children.
“Yivi.” Liam returns to me and sits back down on the bed, and I let the sheets fall from around my neck. He takes my hand and strokes it, offering comfort.
“There’s a lot of irony in the fact we got married,” I continue my story. “When I ran away, I was standing at an alter about to be married to a man who’s name I didn’t even know. He was to be my husband for life, and I would’ve given him children in payment. It’s what I was born to do.”
Liam swallows deeply. I can see his jaw ticking. He doesn’t say anything, and we fall quiet.
“I should leave. It would be the safest thing to do.” I finally break the silence.
“No.” Liam’s reply is blunt and domineering. Even if I tried to leave this room, I know he wouldn’t let me. “Did they hurt you?”
I shake my head. The girls of the cult are carefully protected until it’s time to marry. Well, at least, I was. There were some who misbehaved, and I’m sure bad things happened to them because I never saw them again after their sins had been discovered.
“That explains some of the things you’ve said and the things you don’t know or haven’t experienced before, like drinking alcohol.”
I nod this time. “Yes, my life has been very sheltered. Tonight, seeing Cameron with those women. It’s the first time I’ve seen anything like that. As for alcohol, I’ve never touched it before. It’s why I got so drunk. The helicopter, the limousine, the little boxes you call phones that you carry in your pockets and use to speak to people, even this hotel room with the comfortable bed and soft sheets—they’re all foreign to me. There are some things I don’t even know what they are.” I point to the black rectangle box stuck to the wall in the bedroom. “I know that shows you pictures. I saw you and Tate looking at them tonight, but I don’t know what it is or how it gives you them. It’s like a moving book. When I was younger, we had Bibles with pictures, but as we got older, there were only words. I liked the pictures. They stimulated my mind, even if you did appear to be killing people on the screen in Tate’s room.”
Liam’s eyes go wide. “You don’t know what a television is?”
“No, is that what it’s called?”
He nods.
“Television.” I test out the word on my lips. “I’ve been going along with things for most of the day not wanting to show my ignorance, but I think I’m very different to you and the rest of the band. There’s so much I don’t know or understand.”
“You should have told me when we spoke this morning,” Liam responds.
I can’t tell if he’s angry at me or upset. His breaths are quick, and when he stands up from the bed and starts to pace the room, I feel a little scared. I reach for the sheets and pull them back over me.
He stops and stares at me.
“I have to ask this.” Liam’s voice is hesitant.
I’m nervous about what he wants to know but nod my head.
“Last night…the blood on the sheets this morning. Do you even know what we did?”
“We procreated, and I could be carrying your child in my belly. It’s what I should do as your wife.”
Liam leans back against the wall behind him.
“Yes, and no. It doesn’t work that way here. We had sex, consummated our marriage as the others have already said, but you don’t have to get pregnant. I think that would be the last thing we need right now. Shit, I didn’t even check if I used a condom. We need to get you a morning after pill.”
“Condom? Pill?” I’m confused as to what he’s talking about.
“Fuck.” Liam slams his fists against the wall behind him.
“I’m sorry for making you so angry,” I instantly blurt out. I’ve seen what can happen to women who make their husbands angry. They’re beaten, and I don’t want that. But something within me tells me Liam won’t hurt me.
He’s not angry at me. He’s angry at himself.
He’s cursing, muttering words I don’t fully understand.
“Liam.” I slide from the bed and pad gently across the floor toward him. I reach out and take his hand, and he stops. He stares at me with a look of sorrow in his eyes.
“I took you to a rock concert, and you witnessed what was, in many ways, an orgy with Austin and Cameron. I knew you were innocent, but I didn’t realize just how much. I’m sorry. You’ve every right to be angry and upset with me.”
I shake my head frantically.
“No, not at all. You’ve shown me so much in twenty-four hours. You’ve shown me the real world. Not the one I’ve been forced to live in.”
“I’m not sure the life of a rock star is a normal one, but I get what you mean.”
“Let me learn some more. Let me discover the life I can have away from everything I knew previously. Give me a chance in this new world,” I plead, a completely crazy and wacky idea hitting me.
“What do you mean?” Liam searches my face for answers.
“I know you have to be careful and protect your bandmates and friends, but what if we didn’t get an annulment?”
“Yivi, you escaped one unwanted marriage and instantly ended up in another. Surely you would be better off learning to live on your own.”
“I’m not making myself clear. Sorry.” I take a deep breath to compose myself and get the chaotic thoughts in my head centered. “If the cult finds me, I’ll be taken back there and married to the man they chose for me. While I’m still married to you, they can’t do that. If you give me a year, I could learn about this world, understand it all, and find a way to look after myself. If I can stay hidden from them, I can become the person I want to be. I heard Zoey saying money was the main worry about us being married. I’m not entirely sure how money works, but I can sign a piece of paper saying I won’t take any of yours if that helps. I’m assuming because you had contracts drawn up for the annulment, things work the same way here as they do in my family. Everything’s agreed on paper.”