“I didn’t know. I was always told that she died because her organs failed in the end.”
His eyes settled on me, dark and haunted. He brushed his thumb under my eyes, wiping away my tears. “That’s what I wanted. I never told anyone.”
I shivered against him, too overwhelmed to say anything. I buried my face in his neck, seeking his warmth and scent. His hand rubbed gentle circles on my stomach. “If I’d known, I wouldn’t have pushed you so much.”
“Val, you didn’t push me. When I married you I made a vow to take care of you and try to be a good husband, and I don’t take my vows lightly. I’m a man of honor, and yet I didn’t fulfill the promises I made to you.”
“Why did you ever agree to marry if you knew how hard it would be for you?”
“My father wanted me to marry, and I knew I was starting to look weak because I couldn’t move on from Carla, so I did what I thought would be best for my claim to power. You seemed like the perfect choice.”
The way he said it made it sound as if I wasn’t, but I didn’t interrupt him.
“I thought you’d be reluctant to allow closeness so shortly after your first husband died.”
The mention of Antonio tightened my throat, but I swallowed past it. “I would have if we’d been in love, or had had anything resembling a real marriage.”
“I’m not blaming you for wanting something real after how Antonio used you. Which makes it even worse that you married another man who used you for his own purposes.” He let out a low breath.
“So when you decided to marry me, you never intended to sleep with me?”
Dante laughed darkly. “I’m not that honorable. No, I thought I’d consummate our marriage and then sleep with you whenever I felt like it, without any kind of emotional attachment.”
“Then why didn’t you sleep with me on our wedding night or in the days after?”
“I wanted to. When I brought you into my bedroom on our wedding night, I wanted nothing more than to rip your gown off and bury myself in you. I was angry. I wanted to fuck you until I got that anger out of my system, but then you stepped out of the bathroom in that modest silk nightgown looking every bit the lady, and you were my wife, and you had that fucking hopeful and insecure look in your eyes, and I knew I couldn’t use you like that.”
My lips parted in surprise. “Did you suspect that I had never slept with a man?”
Dante shook his head. “No. I could tell you were unpracticed in your advances and attempts at seducing me, but I guessed your first husband had been dominant in the bedroom and didn’t let you take the initiative, although it didn’t match up with my assessment of Antonio.”
“Was I that bad at trying to seduce you?” I asked with a small, embarrassed laugh. It felt incredible talking to Dante like this, so openly, and being in his arms without him trying to pull back was even better.
Dante’s lips curled into a wry smile. “I’m a man who prides himself on his self-control. Believe me, most men wouldn’t have been able to resist your charm. To be honest, when I found out I would be your first, I had an even harder time holding back. It’s probably a male thing, but I wanted to put my claim on you.”
“That sounds very animalistic.”
“It is. Before I married you, I didn’t want an inexperienced bride, but once I knew the truth about you, I had a hard time thinking about anything else other than making you mine.” Dante’s eyes darted to my round belly where his hand was still resting. “And the knowledge that you’re carrying my baby makes me proud, though it really isn’t something that should cause that notion in me. After all, it’s not a great achievement to impregnate your wife.”
I shook my head with a smile that slowly died on my lips as my eyes sought out Dante’s. “I love this. I love talking to you like a real husband and wife. Please don’t pull back from me again. I can’t go back to being lonely.”
Dante cupped my cheek. “I won’t. Today was the wake-up call I needed. I’ll try to be the best husband I can possibly be, which probably is still much less than you deserve. I’m not an emotional man, and I hate public displays of affection, but I won’t go back to ignoring you. That I can promise.”
I kissed him. “Thank you.”
We lay in silence beside each other until I felt our daughter move. I quickly shifted Dante’s hand so he could feel it too. He stilled.
“Do you feel her moving?”
Dante nodded. He didn’t say anything, but I knew this time it wasn’t because he was unaffected by what was happening. Smiling, I put my head back down on his shoulder.
“When can I return home?”
“Tomorrow. They want to keep you overnight.”
“Okay.” I wasn’t really happy about this. I worried about being separated from Dante for that long, but not because I was clingy or couldn’t be alone; no, I was worried that despite his promise, Dante would find reasons to retreat from me once more if we were separated so shortly after we’d come to an understanding.
“I’ll stay with you. I won’t let you alone in this place,” he said as if he knew about my worries, and my heart swelled with gratitude. “And I already told Leo that he would have to handle the casino alone for a while.”
“You don’t want me to work anymore?”
“The doctor said you need to stay in bed as much as possible, so you won’t be able to work. Once our child is born and you’re feeling well enough, we can still talk about finding you a new job.”
“That’s reasonable,” I said, then pulled back and kissed him again. Now that he let me, I wanted to do it over and over again. Soon my breathing quickened, but Dante drew back with a small shake of his head. “We shouldn’t. You need rest.”
“Did the doctor say something about sex?”
“Because of the rupture sex is too risky. It could lead to an infection or cause the rupture to widen.”
“So we can’t have sex for three months if I’m going full-term?”
“Yes. That’s right.”
I knew some men started using mistresses when their wives got pregnant. I didn’t think Dante was the type, but it still worried me. And it wasn’t as if I didn’t enjoy sex. Three months, and possibly longer, without any kind of relief sounded like a challenge.
Dante smoothed out the furrows between my brows. “What are you thinking?”
“Will you be okay with it?”
“You mean with no sex?” he asked with a hint of amusement. “Yes. As I said, self-control isn’t my problem.”
“I hope you have enough for both of us.”
Dante kissed a spot below my ear. “I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. I always want you, Valentina. You drive me insane with desire, but I won’t do anything that could endanger our child.”
“I know. Me neither.” I smiled. “I still can’t believe that we’ll have a little girl soon. When we’re back home tomorrow, I’ll have to show you something I bought today.” I couldn’t wait to see his face when he saw the onesie. I hated that something as horrible as a rupture of membranes had finally brought us closer, but I was glad it had. Now we could look forward to the birth of our daughter together.