“Are you going to New York with Luca?” Fabiano asked suddenly.
I bit my lip. “Yeah.”
“But I want you to come home with us.”
I blinked, trying to hide my anguish over hearing him say that. “I know.”
Lily tore her eyes away from the sheets for a moment. “Won’t you go on a honeymoon?”
“Not right now. The Russians and the Taiwanese are giving Luca trouble.”
Fabiano nodded as if he understood, and maybe he did. With every year that passed he’d learn more of the dark world we lived in.
“Stop staring at the sheets,” Gianna said in a low voice, but Lily seemed too caught up in the sight.
Her face scrunched up. “I think I’m going to be sick.” I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and steered her outside. She shook in my grip.
“Hold it back,” I ordered as we half ran out of the room, everyone’s eyes following us. We stumbled into the hall. “Where’s the bathroom?” This mansion had too many rooms.
Romero motioned us to the end of the hall and opened a door, then closed it when we were inside. I held Lily’s hair as she threw up in the toilet bowl, then made her sit down on the ground. I wiped her face with a wet towel and a bit of soap. “I still feel strange.”
“Put your head between your knees.” I crouched before her. “What’s the matter?”
She gave a small shrug.
“I’ll get you some tea.” I straightened.
“Don’t let Romero see me like this.”
“Romero isn’t…” I trailed off. Lily obviously had a crush on him. It was futile, but I could at least allow her that small fantasy, when the sight of the sheets had already distressed her so much. “I’ll keep him out,” I promised instead and slipped out of the bathroom.
Romero and Luca waited in front of it.
“Is your sister okay?” Luca asked. Was he actually concerned or only polite?
“The sheets made her queasy.”
Romero’s expression darkened. “They shouldn’t allow young girls to witness something like that. It’ll only scare them.”
He glanced at Luca as if catching himself. But Luca waved dismissively. “You are right.”
“Lily needs some tea.”
“I can get it for her, and stay with her so you can return to your guests,” Romero suggested.
I smiled. “That’s nice, but Lily doesn’t want you to see her.”
Romero frowned. “Is she scared of me?”
“You sound like that isn’t a possibility,” I said with a laugh. “You are a soldier of the mafia. What’s not to be scared of?” I decided not to play with him anymore and lowered my voice. “But that’s not it. Lily has a major crush on you and doesn’t want you to see her like that.” That, and I didn’t want any of Luca’s men alone with Lily until I knew them better.
Luca grinned. “Romero, you still got it. Capturing the hearts of fourteen-year-old girls left and right.” Then he turned his attention to me. “But we have to return. The women will be mortally offended if you don’t give them all your attention.”
“I’ll take care of Lily,” Gianna said, appearing in the hall with Fabiano.
I smiled. “Thanks,” I said as I brushed her hand in passing. The moment I was back in the dining room, the women flocked around me again, trying to extract more details from me. I pretended to be too embarrassed to speak about it—which I would have been, if it had taken place—and only gave them vague answers. Guests eventually started to leave, and I knew it would soon be time to say goodbye to my family and embark on my new life.
* * *
Fabiano pressed his face against my ribs almost painfully and I stroked his hair, feeling him tremble. Father was watching with a disapproving frown. He thought Fabiano was too old to show emotions like that, as if a boy couldn’t be sad. They would have to leave for the airport soon. Father needed to return to Chicago to conduct business as usual. I wished they could have stayed longer, but Luca and I would leave for New York today as well.
Fabiano sniffed, then pulled back, looking up at me. Tears pressed against my eyes but I held them back. If I started crying now, things would only get harder for everyone, especially Gianna and Lily. They both hovered a couple of steps behind Fabiano, waiting for their turn to say goodbye. Father stood already beside the black rental Mercedes, impatient to leave.
“I will see you again soon,” I promised, but I wasn’t sure when soon would be. Christmas? That was still four months away. The thought settled like a heavy stone in the pit of my stomach.
“When?” Fabiano jutted out his lower lip.
“Soon.”
“We don’t have forever. The plane will leave without us,” Father said sharply. “Come here, Fabiano.”
With a last longing look at me, Fabiano shuffled over to Father, who immediately began scolding him. My heart felt so heavy, I wasn’t sure how it could remain in my chest without crushing my ribs. Luca pulled up behind the Mercedes in his steel-gray Aston Martin Vanquish and got out, but my attention shifted to Lily, who threw her arms around me, and after a moment Gianna joined in the hug. My sisters, my best friends, my confidantes, my world.
I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I never wanted to let them go. I wanted to take them with me to New York. They could live in our apartment, or even get their own. At least then I’d have someone whom I loved and who loved me back.
“I’m going to miss you so much,” Lily whispered between hiccupped sobs. Gianna didn’t say anything. She only pressed her face into the crook of my neck and cried. Gianna, who almost never cried. My strong, impulsive Gianna. I wasn’t sure how long we held on to each other, and I didn’t care who saw this open display of weakness. Let them all see what true love meant. Most of them would never experience it.
“We have to leave,” Father called. Gravel crunched.
I lifted my face. Mother walked up to us, briefly touched my cheek, then took Lily’s arm and led her away from me. Another piece of myself gone. Gianna didn’t loosen her iron grip on me.
“Gianna!” Father’s voice was like a whip.
She raised her head, eyes red, her freckles standing out even more. We locked gazes and for a moment neither of us said anything. “Call me every day. Every single day,” Gianna said fiercely. “Swear it.”
“I swear,” I choked out.
“Gianna, for Christ’s sake! Do I have to come get you?”
She backed away from me slowly, then she whirled around and practically fled into the car. I walked a few steps after them as their car drove down the long driveway. Neither of my sisters turned around. When they finally turned a corner and were gone, I was strangely relieved. I cried for myself for a while, and nobody interrupted me. Yet I knew I wasn’t alone. At least, not in the physical sense.
When I finally turned around, Luca and Matteo stood on the steps behind me. Luca stared at me with a look I didn’t have the energy to read. He probably thought me pathetic and weak. That was the second time I’d cried in front of him. But today hurt worse. He came down the steps while Matteo stayed behind.
“Chicago isn’t the end of the world,” Luca said calmly.