“Why are you sorry?”
I lay down beside him. “I thought you might want to do it again, but I don’t think I can.”
Luca traced his fingertips over my ribs. “I know. I didn’t expect you to be ready so soon.” He rubbed my stomach, then inched a bit lower. “I could lick you if you’re up for it.”
My core tightened and I really wanted to say yes. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Luca nodded and settled back against the pillows. The blanket crowded around his hips, revealing his muscled torso and the scars there.
I moved closer and propped myself up above him. I traced Luca’s scars, wondering what kind of stories hid behind each of them. I wanted to know all of them, wanted to figure Luca out scar by scar like a puzzle. Where did he get the long scar on his shoulder and the bullet wound below his ribs? Luca was doing his own exploring with his eyes, wandering over my breasts and face. He ran his thumb over my nipples. “Your breasts are fucking perfect.” His touch was more possessive than sexual, but I could feel it all the way between my legs anyway.
Trying to distract myself, I paused with my fingertips against a mostly faded scar on his abs. “Where did you get this scar?”
“I was eleven.” My eyes grew wide. I was pretty sure where the story was going. “The Famiglia wasn’t as united as it is now. A few men thought they could grab power by killing my father and his sons. It was the middle of the night when I heard screaming and shooting. Before I could get out of bed, a man stepped into the room and pointed his gun at me. I knew I’d die as I stared into the barrel. I wasn’t as scared as I thought I’d be. He would have killed me, if Matteo hadn’t jumped him from behind when he pulled the trigger. The bullet went a lot lower than it was supposed to and hit my middle. It hurt like a motherfucker. I was screaming and probably would have passed out if the man hadn’t turned on Matteo to kill him. I had a gun stashed in the drawer of my nightstand, took it out and put a bullet in the man’s head before he could kill Matteo.”
“That was your first murder, right?” I whispered.
Luca’s eyes, which had been lost in another time, focused on me. “Yeah. The first of many.”
“When did you kill again?”
“That same night.” He smiled humorlessly. “After that first man, I told Matteo to hide in my closet. He protested, but I was bigger and locked him in. By then I’d lost quite a bit of blood, but I was high on adrenaline and could still hear shooting downstairs, so I headed for the noise with my gun. My father was in a shooting match with two attackers. I came down the stairs but nobody paid me any attention, and then I shot one of them from behind. My father took the other down with a shot in the shoulder.”
“Why didn’t he kill him?”
“He wanted to question him to find out if there were other traitors in the Famiglia.”
“So what did he do with the guy while he took you to the hospital?”
Luca gave me a wry look. I gasped. “Don’t tell me he didn’t take you.”
“He called the Doc of the Famiglia, told me to put pressure on the wound and went ahead and started torturing the guy for information.”
I couldn’t believe a father would let his child suffer through pain and risk his life, so he could gather information.
“You could have died. Some things need to be treated in a hospital. How could he do that?”
“The Famiglia comes first. We never take our injured to a hospital. They ask too many questions and the police get involved, and it’s an admittance of weakness. And my father had to make sure the traitor spoke before he got a chance to kill himself.”
“So you agree with what he did? You would have watched someone you love bleed to death so you could protect the Famiglia and your power.”
“My father doesn’t love me. Matteo and I are his guarantee for power and a way to keep the family name alive. Love has nothing to do with it.”
“I hate this life. I hate the mafia. Sometimes I wish there was a way to escape.”
Luca’s face became still. “From me?”
“No,” I said, surprising myself. “From this world. Have you never wanted to live a normal life?”
“No. This is who I am, who I was born to be, Aria. It’s the only life I know, the only life I want. For me to commit to a normal life would be like an eagle living in a small cage in a zoo.” He paused. “Your marriage to me shackles you to the mafia. Blood and death will be your life as long as I live.”
“Then so be it. I’ll go where you go no matter how dark the path.”
For a moment, Luca held his breath, then he gripped the back of my head and kissed me fiercely.
* * *
I’d thought Luca would want to sleep with me again soon after our first time, but he didn’t push me. Even though I tried to hide it, he could tell that I was sore for a few days after. He pleasured me with his tongue a few times, never even entering me with his finger, and I made him come with my mouth in turn.
I wasn’t sure if he was waiting for an okay from me but when he came home one night a week after he’d taken my virginity, looking exhausted and angry, I wanted to make him feel better. After he’d showered, he stumbled toward the bed in only his boxers, his eyes filled with darkness.
“Bad day?” I whispered as he flung himself on the bed beside me. He lay on his back and stared up at the ceiling with empty eyes.
“Luca?”
“I lost three of my men today.”
“What happened?”
“The Bratva attacked one of our warehouses.” His lips thinned, chest heaving. “We’ll make them pay. Our retribution will make them bleed.”
“What can I do?” I said softly, my hand stroking his chest.
“I need you.”
“Okay.” I slid my nightgown over my head and pushed down my panties. I knelt beside Luca. He got rid of his boxers and his erection sprang free. Gripping my hips, he made me straddle his stomach. Nerves twisted my insides. I’d hoped that for my second time Luca would still be on top. The thought of lowering myself on his length after how much it had hurt last time terrified me, but if Luca needed me, then I could do it. I cried out in surprise when Luca gripped my butt and hoisted me toward his face, so I was hovering over his mouth. He pressed me down and I screamed out in pleasure, my hands coming up to press against the headboard. This was more intense than anything Luca had ever done to me.
His tongue slipped into me deeply and he massaged my butt with firm fingertips. I peered down into Luca’s eyes as he closed his mouth over my clit. I rocked my hips, pressing myself against his mouth. He growled. The vibration sent pleasure through me and I started rotating my hips, riding Luca’s face. I closed my eyes, let my head fall back as Luca fucked me with his tongue again, humming all the while. And then I shattered, rocking against Luca’s mouth and screaming his name. Somewhere deep inside, a part of me wanted to be embarrassed, but I was too aroused.
When my orgasm subsided, I tried to pull away from Luca’s lips but he held me fast, his eyes burning into me as he licked me with slow strokes. It was too much, but he was relentless. With soft caresses and nudges from his tongue he slowly built my pleasure up again. My pants came quicker and I didn’t try to escape anymore; instead I let Luca move my hips back and forth as he licked me. I was seconds away from my second orgasm. Without warning he pulled back, and in one fluid motion he flicked me on my back and knelt between my legs, his erection pressed against my entrance.