I pull my hands back. “I know, and that’s why I have a plan. Okay, hear me out…I know he’s only in town for a little while, but maybe I can convince him this is where he belongs. I think if I remind him of all the fun and amazing times we had growing up, he will want to stay and have a fresh start after his heartbreak.” I smile, hoping Jade agrees, but I can see on her face that she doesn’t.
“Pearl—”
“Look, I’m sick of being a virgin, Jade, and Trevor is the only guy I trust. I’m doing this whether you agree or not.” She just shakes her head and smiles at the waiter as he hands us our credit cards back.
“Just keep in mind he might not be the same boy you fell in love with. A lot can happen and change in a few years, babe.”
“So, what about you? How’s the online dating world?”
Jade sighs and lets her head fall back.
“That bad, huh?” I rub her back as she sulks.
“It’s just a shit show. The guys either just want a hookup, or they’re a catfish and they show up and they’re thirty years older than their picture. Time for me to adopt a dozen cats and accept my fate.”
“I’ve missed you so much,” I say into Trevor’s neck as he squeezes me tightly. I can’t help but inhale his cologne. It smells expensive, not like the Axe body spray he used to wear in high school. That’s not the only thing that’s changed. The last time I saw him was when he came back to town to tell me he was engaged and my heart dropped to my feet. He had changed a little back then, but now...now, he looks like a sophisticated man. He stands out in this town.
I take a seat next to him at the bar and take a sip of my beer. “So...what’s new?” I say a little shyly. I feel a little like I’m sitting next to a stranger. His once curly, dark hair is now cropped short in a professional no-nonsense cut. His crisp, navy button-down is tucked into matching dark jeans complete with a camel-colored belt and suede wingtips. He looks expensive.
“A lot, I guess. I’m still living in Chicago, and I just accepted a professor position at the University of Chicago. They told me the average age of a professor is forty so I guess I’m a little ahead of my time.” He chuckles and takes a sip of his water. “Before I even finished my Master’s, they had their eye on me. I’m working through my PhD now, so I guess I’m staying pretty busy.”
I half-smile. “Yeah, sounds pretty crazy. I’m so proud of you and happy for you.” I want to ask about his ex, but I don’t want to seem too nosy.
“What about you? I thought for sure you’d have a couple little ones running around by now.” I’m a little taken aback at his remark. Maybe he didn’t know me as well as I thought he did.
“No, no little ones. I just accepted a position with your mom at the cabins. I guess she and Blake are doing some renovations, and they want me to do some social media marketing and build a new website. I went over there the other day and met with Blake. He’s still… moody,” I say with a nervous laugh.
“Yeah, he told me about that a little. He’s just a harmless, grumpy old man. I swear he’s gotten worse since Tracey broke his heart, but he’ll never admit that.”
“Tracey? How long ago was that?” I should take this opportunity to bring up his ex, but I’m curious about this woman who broke Blake Winthrop’s heart. I know I’d seen the two of them around town in the past but not enough to remember her.
“About a year, I think.” He takes another long drink of his water. “I guess she got tired of the small-town life. She moved in with him for a few months but missed her life back in Denver and bailed on him. Just moved out one day.”
“Damn, that’s harsh.” I roll my beer bottle in my hands, “So what about you? Got a Mrs. back in Chicago waiting on you?” I can see his shoulders tense up before motioning to Will.
“Could I get a double Jack and Coke?” he asks before folding his hands on the bar top. “Funny you should ask. I, uh, I am recently single.” He leaves it at that before picking up the drink from Will and taking several large gulps.
“I’m sorry,” I say, reaching out and rubbing his arm.
“Ah, it’s for the better, I guess. I proposed, we seemed happy and then she said she needed space. Good to know we weren’t on the same page.” He lifts the tumbler to his lips before draining it. “How about we do some shots for old time’s sake?”
We’re a few shots and Jack and Cokes in before we’re laughing and teasing each other like old times. I know Jade was wrong. He’s the same boy I remember from childhood, the same boy I’ve dreamt of giving my virginity to.
He glances down at his phone. “Shit. We’ve been here for four hours. It’s already after eight. I promised Blake and my mom I’d stop in and spend some time with them. It’s been great, P, it really has.” He reaches out and places the palm of his hand against my cheek before leaning in and placing a kiss on my forehead. I can smell the whiskey on his breath, and I’m tempted to pull his mouth down to meet mine. He leans back, and for a brief second, he glances down at my lips as if he’s reading my thoughts. I let my eyes close softly before they shoot open again to the sound of his phone ringing.
“Hey, Ma. Yeah, I’m heading over now. No, I’m not driving. I sent Blake a text to pick me up. Okay, I’ll see you soon. Love you.”
“Well, Blake will be here any minute.” He reaches out and squeezes my hand. “You haven’t changed a bit, P. You’re still that same beautiful girl from high school. I’m sad I let time get away from us. I promise I’m going to do more to keep you in my life.” He gets up and walks out.
I have to tell him. Tonight.
I sit in my Beetle and stare at my phone. It’s almost midnight, and I’ve been sitting here for close to thirty minutes trying to muster up the courage to march up to cabin three and tell Trevor I want him. None of the lights are on in the cabins, and being this far up in the mountains, it’s damn near pitch black, especially with the clouds blocking the moon.
I pull down my mirror and give myself a once over. I slick on my favorite strawberry gloss and pop a mint. “This is it. Just tell him.” I flip the mirror back up and exit my car, making my way quietly toward his cabin.
I walk across the small porch and grab the handle of the door. “Please be unlocked,” I whisper to myself. I turn the handle and the door pops open with a squeak. I quickly look over my shoulder and then slip inside. I leave my shoes by the front door before tiptoeing toward the bedroom door that’s partially open. I look inside and his naked back is toward the door. I can barely make out the color of his skin as I approach him. The room is so dark, not even a sliver of light shines through the drapes that are drawn closed.
I reach down and softly stroke his shoulder as he stirs awake. “Don’t panic. It’s Pearl. I just…I need to tell you something.” He sounds like he’s about to speak but stops when I interrupt him. His shoulder and back feel so strong under my touch.
“I…I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember.” I let my hand travel over his arm, and a small moan escapes his lips. I don’t know what comes over me, but I don’t hold back. “I’ve wanted you so badly. I can’t help but fantasize about you. I…I’m a virgin and I want my first time to be with you.”