I turn my head and glance at Sofie’s profile.
We’re lying on a blanket by the waterside, staring up at the endless stars above. Spencer is already sleeping in the tent and Rafe is having a beer by the fire, the dogs sleeping at his feet.
“I’d like to think so. I would imagine she’s always around, so she can see you and your brother grow up.”
I turn back to the stars and a silence stretches between us, but not uncomfortably so.
“Would she be mad?”
“Because of your dad and me? I don’t think so, Sofie. Your mom and I talked quite a bit before she died.” I hesitate, trying to figure out the best way to word this without going into details that shouldn’t be shared with an eight-year-old. “Sweetheart, she asked me to look after you and your brother, and I’d like to think maybe she was hoping this might happen.”
She doesn’t respond immediately, and I sneak a glance to find her still staring up into the night sky.
“Daddy says he loves you.”
“I love him too.”
“He says he also loves Mom.”
“As do I. That never goes away.”
“Isn’t that kinda weird?”
I try to keep my face impassive, even though I want to smile. That question makes my niece sound like a typical preteen. “Nope. I don’t think there’s a limit to how many people we can love.” I sense Sofie’s eyes on me and turn to face her. “Your heart doesn’t run out of space, honey. It has endless room for love.”
She looks at me with sad eyes before returning her focus to the stars above, and I do the same.
“Do you think she’s lonely?”
Her tremulous little voice has me reach over to find her hand, and I curl my fingers around it. “How could she be? She has all of us.”
Not much later Sofie announces the bugs are getting bad, and I walk with her to the bathrooms so she can brush her teeth and do her business before turning in.
“Night, Daddy.” She bends down to kiss Rafe goodnight, but he pulls her down on his lap, hugging her tight.
“I’ll tuck you in,” he rumbles before setting her back on her feet and walking her to the tent.
“Stay,” I order Lilo and Stitch, who grudgingly lie back down, but in no time are back asleep.
It’s been a busy day for the pups, first sniffing and exploring the campsite, and after that decimating a large tree branch they’d pulled from the underbrush. Neither of them seems inclined to wander too far away, which is a relief.
Sitting down by the fire, I toss another log on when I hear Sofie’s voice from behind me.
“Night, Taz.”
I twist my neck and see her head poking out of the tent. “Night, honey. Sleep sweet.”
Bullfrogs strike up a chorus by the water’s edge, blending with the buzz of the cicadas, and the soft hum of voices in the tent. It’s oddly peaceful and I breathe in deep, filling my lungs with fresh air and a whiff of woodsmoke. The perfect way to end an eventful day.
I’m well aware it could’ve ended much differently. Having Sofie open up to me earlier was an unexpected gift. If there was ever a time I could feel Nicky’s presence it was then, under the millions of stars dotting the night sky.
Staring into the flames, I’m lost in thought and don’t notice Rafe walking up until a warm hand slides under my dreads, giving my neck a squeeze.
“I’m grabbing another beer. Want some wine?”
“I’ll have a beer too.”
Rafe leans over me and I tilt my head back for the kiss I know is coming. It’s short but sweet and ends sooner than I’d like. It doesn’t take long before he’s back, pressing a bottle in my hands and taking the seat beside me, propping his feet up on the edge of the firepit.
“Thank you,” he mumbles, reaching over to take my hand in his.
“For what?”
“I heard you and Sofie talking. You managed to find the exact right things to say to her. I know it’s short-sighted to think there won’t be snags along the way, but she’s in a better place than I expected her to be.”
“Spencer was a bit of a surprise, wasn’t he?” I share with a grin. I’m sure the easy acceptance by the little boy went a long way to making his sister more receptive to the idea of her father and me together.
“Life should be pretty simple at five. Sleep, eat, play, and as long as the people you care about are happy, you are too.” There’s a wistful tone to his words.
“How old were you when you ended up in the foster system?”
“A toddler. I don’t really remember anything from before. Apparently my mother overdosed on heroin, and I was found wandering around the parking lot of a seedy motel in nothing more than a dirty diaper.”
I tighten my grip on his hand. “Did you ever try to find out more? Maybe find your father?”
“Nothing to discover. My mother is still listed as a Jane Doe: no papers, no name, and no record of my birth anywhere. I didn’t have a name.”
“Who gave you one?” I look at his profile, lit by the flames, showing the dark shadows and deep angles of his handsome features.
“I have no idea. I’m guessing someone with CPS where I ended up.”
I didn’t think there was more for me to discover about Rafe, and although he may not seem to know much about his own background, it goes a long way to explaining the choices he made.
“You’re amazing,” I echo his words to me from earlier today.
He turns to me, his clear blue eyes smiling. “You’re stealing my line.”
“Nah, it fits you better,” I tell him. “I was blessed with a family to grow up in—a place I belonged—and only now am I learning to appreciate that. But you…you didn’t have any of that. You had to claim yourself a place in this world—create a family to belong to—and you did that without any guidance. That’s amazing.”
Other than the tight grip of his hand on mine he has no response, but it’s enough to put a smile on my face as I stare into the dying fire.
I’m not sure how long we sit there, but eventually we get up, tidy up the campsite and toss sand on the fire. We crawl into the tent, only to find the kids huddled together in the center, leaving room on either side of them. The dogs go into their crate we set up at the foot end without coaxing and curl up together.
When I’ve settled into my sleeping bag next to Sofie, I turn on my side to find Rafe propped up on an elbow. His eyes drift over the sleeping forms of his children before they find mine.
“I’m blessed,” he whispers.
Rafe
“It’s cold!”
I glance over to where Spencer just joined Taz and Sofie in the water. The dogs are barking excitedly, neither getting more than their paws wet.
Both kids are wearing life vests, regardless of their complaints. They may be fine swimming in a pool, but the river, with its unpredictable currents, is another story.
We’re all sporting a tan after a week with near perfect weather. A week that’s gone by much too soon. I’m going to miss the easy routine we’ve fallen into. It didn’t take Taz long to coax the kids into the water, despite Sofie’s fears of creatures touching her under the surface. Every morning while I built a fire to make coffee and cook breakfast, the three of them would splash around in the river until it was time to eat.