I tipped my chin up, willing trembling fingers to steady. Not trembling from fear or the feel of his power radiating off every inch of him, but the incredible need I felt to touch him. Feel him. Consume him.
“I had a life before you literally crashed into mine,” I said, and my heart clenched at the disappointment and regret and fear that flickered in his eyes. It was gone in a blink, replaced by that smooth, icy-calm I’d seen plenty of. But I knew him, whether he wanted to admit it or not, I knew him like I knew my own soul. I’d seen his eyes, his face, his heart when no one was looking, for my mate could not mask anything from me. “I’m not saying I regret it,” I hurried to continue. “I don’t. The one thing I do regret is not finishing my work. Years of it. I’m so close to earning this doctorate, Alek.”
His eyes narrowed. “It means that much to you?”
“It means everything to me,” I said. It’s what defined my life, each day, for as long as I could remember. Beyond being an unwanted orphan, being someone who was tossed near a dumpster…for what? Being different? Looking different? I didn’t know. But my history obsession? The feelings and dreams and nightmares that hit close to the truth I couldn’t explain? The satisfaction and release that only came from burying myself in research and theory? That had been my lifeblood every day before Alek came into my world. “And Valor,” I said, stepping toward him. Pleading up at him with my eyes. “I need to see my friend. She’s the only one I had before…” I glanced to Avi, who smiled at me, then returned my focus to Alek. “Please. I won’t run. You have to feel that, know that.”
Elation bubbled in my chest the second I felt the shift in him.
“You have to go at night,” he said, and I clapped and bounced on my shoes. “And under heavy guard.” I nodded, throwing my arms around his neck. He caught me easily, his nose at the seam of my neck, sending warm shivers along the edges of my skin. “I’m expected with the nobles tonight, so Hawke—”
“Yes!” I said, nodding against his cheek before drawing back enough to meet his eyes. “I’ll follow all the rules.”
His eyes bored into mine, his nose grazing the tip of my own. “If anything happened to you…” His voice trailed off, and I swallowed hard. I understood his protectiveness over me.
It was the same reason I’d nearly went toe-to-toe with a female vampire. Why I’d snapped at Cassandra, someone who could easily dismember me. Because he deserved better. He didn’t deserve to be pawed at like a piece of meat, a prize to be won, a crown to take. He deserved love and compassion and challenge and…
Me.
He deserved me.
His mate. And I knew he only kept me here because the very thought of harm coming to me was so horrendous it made his blood curdle.
I brushed a soft kiss over his lips, innocent and not nearly the carnal passion I’d been fantasizing about, but this was Avi’s room, and I wasn’t about to disrespect her graciousness like that.
“Come back to me,” he whispered against my lips, and I felt his words caress every inch of my soul. He set me gently on my feet, his hands warm and strong as he released me and walked toward the door. He spared me one more longing look before he disappeared into the hallway, and I had to remind myself to breathe.
With someone like Alek waiting for me?
How could I possibly not come back?
“You’re lucky I love you so much, bitch,” Valor hissed over the phone I held to my ear. I laughed, the motion clearing all the tension from my chest. The meeting with my advisor had gone perfectly. Thanks to my “illness”, she’d totally understood my absence these past three weeks. The added research I’d compiled at Alek’s estate had been a cherry on top of my apologies, and I was finally back on track to finish out my academic career.
`“I love you too,” I said, sinking further into the leather seats of the sedan. Hawke drove us silently back toward the estate, and I wondered what he thought of Valor’s candor with me. Surely, he could hear every word she spoke despite the phone being to my ear. “And I’m sorry,” I said for the hundredth time. “I could barely move, let alone call you back. Plus the whole phone breaking thing,” I added. Even to me, the excuses sounded lame. But she breathed a sigh of relief, and her tone had lightened. I’d wanted to meet up with her, but the advisor appointment had taken longer than I’d thought.
“It’s fine,” she said. “I would’ve busted your apartment door down if I hadn’t been across the country attending boring as hell board meetings.” She blew out a long breath. “When do I get to see you again?”
I chewed on my bottom lip, my eyes flashing to the pair staring at me in the rearview mirror. I had half a mind to tell him to watch the road, but I kept my mouth shut. He was duty-bound to keep me safe, but that didn’t mean I needed to test the line that kept him from removing me as a complication in Alek’s life. A giant one, seeing that vampires and humans didn’t mate. Ever.
“I’m not sure, Val,” I said, hating to lie. But what was I supposed to do? Tell her the truth? Not only would she not believe me, it would put her in danger. I wouldn’t be so selfish to put her life at risk just so I didn’t have to feel guilty. “I’m almost done with my thesis. And I’m still recovering. Once all that is settled, we’ll be able to get together.”
“I’m going to hold you to that, Lyric,” she said, and the seriousness in her tone sent a chill down my spine.
“You do that,” I said, trying to lighten the tone.
“I’ve got to go,” she said, sighing. “Daddy, dearest, has called a family meeting.”
“Don’t have too much fun,” I said.
“Never do,” she said, then hung up.
I sat the phone down on the seat next to me, wondering if I’d be allowed to keep the new device now that I’d proved I wouldn’t do or say anything to jeopardize Alek’s safety. When I looked up at the rearview mirror again, Hawke’s eyes were firmly on the road.
Three hours later, I awoke with a start. Heart pounding, chest aching, sweat beading across my skin. I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to remember the nightmare that had chased me through sleep, but came up empty. The thesis meeting must’ve exhausted me because I’d barely made it into the adjoining room to Avianna’s before crashing. But now?
Now I was wide awake.
And something strong and terrifying and delicious tugged on the very center of me. An insatiable hunger, pulsing and screaming and gnawing on the insides of my soul.
Alek.
God, he was starving. Stubborn asshole. It had been over a week since he’d fed from me.
I hurried out of the bed, slipping on a silver silk robe and cinching it around my waist. Avi had not only loaned me half of her wardrobe, she’d sent out for a massive amount of things in my size. Enough to fill three of my closets back home. I had grumbled at first, but seeing as how I didn’t want to traipse around the estate in my shorts and tank combo, I was currently grateful for the robe.
I hesitated for only a breath outside of Alek’s door, glancing around the corridor for any of his guards. Eyeing the security pad—the same as the war room—I assumed he had no guards because of the secureness of his chambers. I placed a trembling palm against the pad, sighing as I heard the lock to his door unlatch.