“What?” Kirill held up his hands.
In response, Ra turned to Arvyn, his heart aching at how the alpha wolf’s shoulders were hunched, and he looked like any tail he had would be firmly between his legs. “Arvyn, I didn’t throw a dose of my power at you two to cause you any anxiety. You have nothing to fear from me. But I got told you, out of the three of us, would be the one most likely to follow his instincts and want to be with his mate. But I frighten you – the thought of being on another realm frightens you. Where’s the trust?”
Turning back to Kirill, Ra continued. “And you. You had no right to use that tone with me, not because of who I represent, but because we’re meant to be together. Nor did you have any right to hold Arvyn back from coming to me which was his first instinct. I have a lot of power – this, what you’re experiencing, is just a fraction of it. That’s what comes from being the Father of Everything in my pantheon. But I made myself vulnerable. I came to you as a man because I wanted to be an equal in our potential relationship.”
“Ra.” Arvyn sounded shattered and Ra’s heart broke even further.
“You two need to talk,” he said suppressing his power, and dropping his voice. “Maybe there isn’t a place for a god in your relationship, and if that’s the case, then I’ll accept it. I’m not a god who’s going to whisk you away to another realm, permanently separating you from your precious coven or your mortal life. I could, but I never would have. I just wanted to be accepted as Ra the man.”
“I never said… We never said we didn’t accept you,” Kirill said quickly.
“Your tone… your lack of trust in me,” Ra shook his head sadly. “That spoke volumes. If I’d been any other type of being, we’d already be in bed together. What does it say about matings when the Father of Everything can’t even get a hug from the men he’d been fated to be with? You won’t have to worry about me eavesdropping on you anymore. Enjoy the rest of your night.”
Ra disappeared, taking his wards with him, refusing to go back even when he heard Arvyn’s anguished howl. I will not be set aside. I will not be treated as a freak. I will be equal, or I won’t be with them at all.
Seth was waiting for him when Ra returned to his home on his realm. “I am not in the mood,” Ra slashed the air quickly as Seth opened his mouth. “And here,” he threw his phone in Seth’s direction, “Slash it, smash it, do what you like with it, but do not talk to me. I don’t want anyone to talk to me.” Still fuming, his heart in pieces, Ra stalked to the privacy of his bedchambers. At least there he could be alone with his grief.
Chapter Eight
“This is all my fault.” Arvyn paced the floor of the hotel room Kirill had booked for them – the same hotel Cass and Wes were staying in. “I just didn’t know… when he said he’d take us somewhere, I got visions of pyramids in my head and I freaked out. I’ve never been outside the states. What if he took us somewhere and I couldn’t speak the language?”
“It wasn’t your fault, it was mine.” Kirill sighed. Sitting on the bed, his shoulders rounded, his elbows resting on his knees, he still looked shocked, much like he had when Ra had shown off some of his power. “I snapped at him. I had no right. I was just so terrified he’d disappear and that we wouldn’t be able to find him again. I spoke without thinking.”
“And now he’s gone anyway.” Arvyn struggled to control his wolf, who just wanted to get out and track down the delicious smelling man. “How did we fuck up so badly? We both wanted to see him, right? You were open to being in a menage?”
“I’ve been waiting six hundred years for my beloved. To find out I had two, on the same night, it was like the Fates had truly blessed me.” Kirill looked up. “You?”
“I wanted to hug him like I hugged you.” Arvyn wrapped his arms around his middle, but that didn’t ease the ache inside of him, or settle his wolf. “I wanted him to smell like us. He’s so small, and every cell in my body wants to protect him, even though my head’s screaming at me he’s a damn god and is more than capable of protecting himself. He’s like you – so far out of my reach I couldn’t dream of having mates like the two of you. But the Fates decreed it, and somehow that made me feel like I was worthy. Or it did.”
“Arvyn, I’m so sorry.” Kirill tugged through his hair. “I shouldn’t have stopped you going to him the moment we saw him. It’s just… he’s a damn god to quote your words. I didn’t know what we were supposed to do, or if there was some sort of greeting protocol we had to abide by.”
“And yet, the moment we saw each other, we were in each other’s arms without a second thought, and chances are Ra saw that too.” Arvyn went over, sitting by Kirill’s side. The vampire’s scent was comforting, but his wolf couldn’t help wanting the man who disappeared too. “What is it, do you think, about him being a god that had both of us denying our instincts?” He had a random thought. “You never worshipped Ra, did you?”
Kirill chuckled. It was a sound like warm honey. “I said I’d been waiting six hundred years for you and Ra, not six thousand, and vampires aren’t in the habit of worshipping anyone. As for Ra, when I saw him, I couldn’t believe someone so young looking could be such an all-powerful god. And then, it was like my protocol head kicked in and I didn’t know if I was meant to bow, kiss his hand, or suck his neck. I know what I wish I had done.”
“Me too.” Arvyn huffed out a sigh. “What do we do now? You’ve got all those problems in your coven, and we can’t let that Yakov think you’ve gone into hiding somewhere. You said you wouldn’t take me to the coven until we’d claimed each other, but…”
“You don’t feel right about doing that until Ra is with us either,” Kirill finished for him. “I know how you feel, and I’m sure a lot of people would think we were being silly, but it’s almost like we’d be cheating on our mate if we claimed each other without him, even though we’re mates/beloveds too.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to claim you.” Arvyn waved at the lump in his crotch. “But I got such a feeling of sadness from him, like we’d truly upset him.”
“Ra?” Kirill flashed him a sideways glance. “I was too busy trying not to fall to my knees to see it. When did you notice that?”
“Just before you snarled at him. His whole body slumped when he realized I was nervous about going anywhere with him, and he got a really sad tinge in his scent, like he’d been expecting rejection and yet he couldn’t hide how much it hurt him when it did happen. But I didn’t mean to be like that.”
“The same as I didn’t mean to snarl at him. Maybe next time we see him, we should use our mouths for other things instead of talking because that seems to get us in the shit with him.” Kirill looked back at the bed they were sitting on. “Did you want to get some sleep? I don’t know about you, but I haven’t been horizontal in over a week and I’ve… we’ve still got to face the coven tomorrow.”