I swallowed. “That’s a damn lie. This isn’t my future. This isn’t. . .”
Other graves rose from the ground.
“What?” I looked at the names. “Why do all of these say, Ivy?”
Over and over, more rose. On each one was scribbled Ivy.
“Stop it!” I stumbled back. “I get it. I’m going to die. We’re all going to die. You don’t have to keep showing me over and over.”
Still, other tombstones with my name rose.
“Stop it!” I fell to the ground in front of him and grabbed at that creepy cloak. My fingers froze. Strange sensations slithered up my skin, but I didn’t let go of the fabric. “Stop it! Stop it! Take me back! Please! I got it!”
He gazed down and didn’t move.
My voice went low. Still gripping his robe, I stared at him. “Please, I understand.”
Tears blurred my view. “Please.”
“Have you learned?”
My bottom lip quivered. “Y-yes.”
And then darkness swallowed me.
Chapter 20
All I Want for Christmas is You
My first clue of consciousness was huge, warm arms surrounding me. Next came Saint’s deep voice. “Please, wake up, Ivy.”
And I knew it wasn’t a dream. Nothing felt as good as Saint’s hold. He was all hard muscles and warmth.
I’m back? Dear God! I’m back.
In my mind, the nightmare evaporated, yet left a vile taste on my tongue.
Without opening my eyes, I hung on to those blissful seconds, breathing in his scent and thanking God for a second chance at saving my heart—my life. Eyes still closed, I snuggled further into him and smiled.
Holly whispered, “She’s up.”
When I opened my eyes, several faces greeted me. Holly, Nikolas, their parents, and in the center stood my father. I was back in Saint’s villa.
I blinked and gazed at him. “Dad. . .”
Fear covered his face.
My chest hurt. The gravestones from earlier flashed in my head. That dark fate terrified me. I wouldn’t let that be my future.
Okay. Okay. I learned my lesson. I. . .I have to push forward.
“Dad.” Swallowing, I whispered, “I’m so sorry.”
“Baby girl, you didn’t do anything wrong.” He rushed to get to my side. A nervous laugh left his mouth. “Don’t you apologize for anything. Are you. . .are you okay?”
“How could I spend all these years pushing you away? Maybe I needed you. Perhaps I would have been better.” Shaking, I scanned the room. “Then I wouldn’t have buried you on my property without any closure.”
Dad looked around as if hoping someone could explain my statement.
Holly frowned. “Saint, let’s call the doctor back. She’s delirious.”
Moving blankets away, I sat up. “I’m not. I’m just—”
“You should lie down.” Saint let go of me. He’d been sitting behind me. Concern covered his face. “How are you feeling, Ivy?”
“Perfect.” I gazed up at him. “Who changed me into pajamas?”
“I did.” Saint ran his fingers through his hair. “After you ran out, I grabbed my coat and hurried after you. It took me some time, but I found you on the ground, sleeping in the snow.”
“I shouldn’t have left you like that. I shouldn’t have done a lot of things.” I shook my head and turned to Holly. “And it’s your wedding night. Go to your suite and forget about this. I’m fine. Start making little nieces and nephews for me. I’m going to be the best aunt ever. You’ll never get rid of me. I love you.”
Holly widened her eyes. “How do you feel? How’s your heart and—”
“I’m 100% okay, Holly.” I gave her a wicked grin. “Go enjoy your wedding night. You’re going to have a bunch of kids. Five of them.”
Nikolas winked at me. “This is why Ivy will always be my favorite friend of yours. You heard her, Holly. Let’s go.”
Holly frowned. “Ivy, don’t run outside anymore.”
I saluted. “Aye Aye, Captain.”
She didn’t look pleased as she headed off.
I called back. “I love you, Holly!”
She raised her eyebrows. “Saint, you really should have the doctor check on her one more time.”
Saint studied me.
“I’m fine. Things are just going to be different from now on.” I waved goodbye to them. “I’m not leaving any of you. I’m right here.”
Nikolas dragged Holly away.
The door closed.
My father placed his hands in his pocket. “Well. . .I’ll be off to my room.”
“No.” I sighed. “You don’t have to go just yet.”
Dad exchanged glances with Saint as if unsure how to proceed.
“Long ago. . .I hated you.” My voice was low. “And I know that in the end, it was an illogical hate, but I couldn’t stop it.”
Dad inched closer to me. “Baby girl, I hated myself. Still do. Anytime I think of Gloria, I want to beat myself up. I. . .I ruined our marriage. I had no heart back then. No soul. I’ll never forgive myself.”
I grabbed the edge of the blanket and twisted it in my fingers. “I shouldn’t have hated you. I shouldn’t have run away every time you tried to talk to me.”
“It’s okay.” Dad reached his hand out to me, stopped, and brought it back. “I’m just happy that you’re talking to me now.”
I twisted the blanket some more. “I should have talked to you long ago.”
“You needed time. It was a traumatic experience. Many. . .wouldn’t have survived. You did.”
I looked at Saint. “I had a lot of help. . .a lot of love around me. People who wouldn’t let me descend into madness.”
Saint watched me but said nothing.
I directed my attention back to Dad. “I don’t know how this will go, but we should talk. We should heal from this. Mom is doing just fine. She has all types of lovers and spiritual adventures. It’s time for us to live our lives too.”
“O-kay. I’ll take that.” Dad nodded. “I’ll take anything that you’re giving. Just let me know. And. . .I don’t want to push you too much more. I just. . .I want to be in your life.”
My eyes watered, but I wouldn’t let any tears come. “Good. You will be. And I also want to meet my brother.”
“That would make his year. He looks up to you. Ever since he was little, he taped pictures of your designs all over his walls as if you were a rock star. He even draws his own little designs in his sketch pads.”
“I can’t wait to see those designs and him.”
Dad parted his lips.
My chest ached, but I couldn’t say why. It wasn’t pain. It was like something inside of me had been sore and required care and attention.
Dad cleared his throat. “Alright. I’m going to let you two talk. Get some rest. Feel better. Maybe we can. . .have breakfast together or lunch. Whatever you feel like. We don’t even have to eat. I could just come in the afternoon or the evening.”
Fear clenched my throat, but I pushed through it. “Breakfast.”