I looked at her. My heart went heavy. My stomach twisted.
“Ivy, what’s wrong?”
Trembling, I turned around. “I don’t know what this dream is but I don’t like it. I want to wake up. Just let me—”
“You can’t. Not until we’re done.”
I faced her. “Done with what? You’re not real.”
“What is real, sweetheart?”
I held my mouth open.
“We’re done when I give you my message.”
Now it was my turn to cross my arms over my chest. “What message?”
“I won’t let you make the same mistake I did.”
“I’m not going to kill myself.”
“For now, but if you continue on this path. . .you will.”
“I won’t.”
“I can see where you’re going. Death is your future. Suicide, even.”
My voice rose in the clouds. “I’m doing fine!”
“Oh really?”
“I am a successful designer—”
“Yes. Yes. But where is the love in your life?”
“I love Holly and—”
“Penis, Ivy.”
I held out my hands. “Excuse me?”
“Where’s the penis?”
“I have tons of that, Mommy.” I raised my hands in the air. “What kind of dream is this?”
“You have people you mess around with, but there is no love. And I understand why you do it, sweetheart. It’s because of me.”
“It’s not completely because of you.”
“I believe I’m supposed to fix that in order to leave this. . .” She gestured around us. “This state that I’m in.”
“State?”
“I’ve been in some sort of limbo all these years. I’ve watched all of you live, but never have I gone to my peace.”
Sadness hit me. “I’m so sorry.”
“No. There are other spirits walking around like me. We party. I’ve even had a few lovers. Spiritual sex isn’t that bad. The orgasms are much more intense and it’s kind of fun to see all of our parts light up—”
“Uh. . .”
“Anyway, years ago I realized that I had to fix you. That is what’s keeping me here.”
“Fix me how?”
“I need to show you the beauty of love. This sex with no strings attached life will never be a substitute to truly living.”
“So, this dream is about love?” I laughed.
“Grief and guilt are intense emotions that develop into serious illnesses. Cancer and—”
“Cancer?”
She frowned. “And there would be a disease of the brain, heart, and soul. Pain will eat at you if you let it. That’s why I’ve come to fix you.”
“Oh my—”
“Don’t say it!” She held her hand up. “Be careful with your words. They hold great power.”
“Okay, but this is weird. What do you mean you’re going to show me love and fix me?”
“I’m sending three of my lovers to you.”
I tilted my head to the side. “Say what now?”
“They all have special powers. Each ghost will come to you one at a time.”
“Please do not send any creepy ex-lover spirits my way. I just got rid of my anxiety—”
“They’re coming and you can’t stop it.” Part of her rope rose above her head. “You need this, Ivy. We all need this.”
“Three creepy ghosts? I don’t.”
“You do. Loving a person is the most beautiful thing a person can do—the most precious and vulnerable part of life.”
“Love is hurt and pain.”
Her spirit darkened. “It’s not always that way, sweetheart.”
Something shook me. I stumbled to the side of the cloud.
“Oh, dear.”
“What was that?”
Mom frowned. “It’s time for us to end. Someone is waking you up. I’ll try to talk to you later. Until then, be patient with my old lovers.”
“The creepy ghosts?”
“They’re good spirits and are doing a huge favor for me.”
“Wait. Don’t send them to me!”
Someone shook me again.
I fell off the cloud and fell down into darkness. Flapping my arms and legs, I screamed, “No!”
I woke up, opening my eyes. “Mommy!”
Park watched me. “Are you okay?”
Trembling, I scanned the space. The plane greeted my eyes. I checked the window. We’d landed.
Other passengers rose and gathered their suitcases. A few looked my way with concern on their faces.
I cleared my throat. “I. . .had a weird dream.”
“About your mother?”
I snapped my view to her. “Y-yes.”
“What was it about?”
Shaking my head, I took off my seat belt and rose. “What is up with everyone wanting to know about my dreams?”
“Oh, sorry.”
“No.” I waved her comment away. “I’m just being an asshole. That wasn’t fair.”
“It’s just that you were screaming for your mother over and over.”
Embarrassed, I hurried with undoing my seatbelt. “Yeah. That’s my thing. Just ignore it.”
Park rose from her seat. “Your phone has also been ringing since we landed.”
“What? I thought I shut it off.” I took my phone out of my pocketbook and checked the texts. A few came from my father.
Bastard.
I ignored his texts and checked the messages from Holly.
Holly: The Wicked Witch of the West is here and keeping me busy. I will have to send Saint to get you.
Saint is picking me up.
My body calmed. All the nervousness left.
I typed a message back.
Me: Sounds good. We just arrived in Helsinki. We’re about to jump on the next plane to go to Lapland.
Holly: Have a safe trip!
Me: When I get there, I’ll rescue you from that bitch.
My phone vibrated, letting me know she had replied. I checked the screen.
Holly: We can’t call her that. She will be my mother-in-law soon.
Me: Let’s hope she’ll stop acting like a bitch. When she does, I’ll stop calling her that.
Holly: LOL! That’s fair. I can’t wait to see you.
Me: Me too.
Park and I headed off.
With each step, I pushed that crazy dream out of my head.
My mother glowing with a rope? Spirits of ex-lovers? A staircase of clouds? What the fuck?
At least it wasn’t a nightmare. I’ll take dreams like that over the other ones. I pushed the dream out of my head.
New anxiety came.
Saint is picking us up. I thought I would have time to prepare myself. I need time before I see him.
Surely, Holly did that intentionally. She’s always wanted her brother and me to be together. In the past, Saint and I had steamy moments, but nothing ever came of those times. They were just moments. Nothing else.
Saint was too important for me to take it further. I needed him in my life forever. While lovers came and went, close friends remained through the years.
It’ll be fine. Seeing him first. . .won’t be a problem at all.