Libby sat there, her eyes glued to her hands enveloped by his. “You’re the only thing that has ever injured me. Your insistence at pushing me away and pretending ‘we’ never happened. Your harsh words, your complete lack of faith in my ability to choose my own life, or my own male. Your lack of belief in what we had and what we were to each other. Those are the only things that have ever injured me, and they all came directly from you.”
Travis sat there, listening to her words. He nodded. “I was so full of self-pity that I couldn’t see past my view of myself. But I’m trying, Libby. It doesn't make up for the way I’ve treated you, but I’m trying to show you that I’m different now — I’ve changed. And I can see that the best part of me was still whole and fully intact.”
“And what would that be?” Libby asked.
“Us. Us, Libby. The union that we form when we’re together. There is nothing stronger. And you’re right. Your love for me was all I ever needed. My insecurities kept me from you. But I know that now. And I take full responsibility for all of it. All I need is a chance to prove it to you. I know I don’t deserve one, but if you’ll allow it, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I can’t promise you that I won’t have days where I’m on my knees begging for relief from the pain, but I can promise that I’ll never take you for granted again. I’ll never stop making sure you know exactly how much I love you.”
Libby pulled her hands away from Travis’s slowly. Her lips were pressed together as she struggled to hold in her tears, but she did it. She refused to let the tears fall. “I’m not ready for all this. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be,” she said, then she looked up to meet his pained gaze. “You hurt me. I can’t just go, ‘Oh, okay, we’re fine now’. I don’t know what you expect from me, but I can’t trust you to not make promises that you’ll take back next week.”
Travis inhaled a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I understand that. I do. But know this… I’ll never, ever stop trying. I’ll never give up. So, be prepared for a lifetime of me…”
“You what?” she asked, aware that he’d not finished his sentence.
“Just me. I’ll always be around. I’ll always be there, when you need someone and when you don’t, and maybe one day you’ll look at me and see the male you fell in love with. Or at least enough of him that you’re willing to forgive me. And if all you can give me is friends, then I’ll take it. I’ll take anything you’re willing to offer.”
Libby didn’t know what to say, or how to feel about any of the things she and Travis had said to each other. She pushed her chair back and stood. “I have to get back to work,” she said quietly.
Travis nodded. “Okay.”
“I think Scotty’s ideas are wonderful and that you should try them. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.”
“I will,” Travis said, rising shakily to his feet and holding onto the table and the back of the chair until he got his balance. “In fact,” he said, “We’re going out shopping for some of the things we’ll need this evening. It’s already December and the first weekend of the month is in a few days. We don’t have much time. I’ll be leaving home about four. If you find time to come help us out, I’d appreciate it. We’re not real artsy/crafty,” he said with a sad smile.
Libby nodded. “Lunch is on me today. Tell Scotty hello for me.”
Travis stood where he was and watched her go back through the kitchen until she disappeared in the break room. Then he dropped two ten dollar bills on the table, inclined his head to Richie who was watching him, and left.
Chapter 5
“You alright?” Richie asked from the doorway of the breakroom slash storeroom.
“Yeah,” Libby answered.
“Don’t look alright,” Richie said.
“I am. And I’ll be better in a few minutes,” Libby said, shaking her head at his insistence that she wasn’t alright.
“I heard,” he said.
“I know. Supersonic hearing and all that. Everybody heard, I’m sure,” Libby said.
“No, just me and Yvette,” Richie said, walking over to her and hugging her to his chest.
“For what it’s worth, I didn’t detect any lies. He fully believes everything he was saying. He meant every word.”
“I’m sure he does. Today anyway. But what about tomorrow or next week?” Libby asked, pulling away from Richie to wipe her eyes on the tissue she held.
“Well, you won’t know if you don’t give him a chance,” Richie answered.
“I’ve given him chance, after chance, after chance. I was so insistent that he see me that I could have been arrested as a stalker. Seriously!” Libby said.
Richie nodded, but looked at her expectantly.
“What?” she asked.
“What if he’s serious. What if it took him this long to find himself again. You have to remember he didn’t suffer only physical trauma, he suffered emotional trauma as well. He’s seen some shit. Maybe he had to fight all the battles within himself before he could be ready to be who you needed him to be,” Richie said.
Libby glared at Richie.
Richie grinned at her. “And now that he’s finally managed to find some balanced ground and become some semblance of who he used to be, you’ll never know that because you’re not strong enough to give him one more chance.”
Libby threw her soggy tissue at Richie and slammed her way into the bathroom to get away from him. She heard his laughter follow her into the bathroom.
“Just something to think about, Libs. Your life, your rules, you know?” he said, before returning to the kitchen.
~~~
Libby was back on the dining room floor — cleaning, serving, cooking, whatever was needed. At 3:25 P.M. she made no move to leave, so Richie made her go.
“Libby, you’re off the clock now,” he called out as soon as his mother walked through the door.
“That’s okay. I don’t have anywhere else to be,” she answered.
“Yeah, but I thought you’d be leaving at three like usual and promised Mom she could have a few extra hours this afternoon,” he explained.
“Oh. Okay,” she said, looking around.
“There’s nothing left for you to do. You’ve about polished the finish off the tables. We got it. You go take the afternoon off and relax or something,” Richie said.
“Yeah, I think I’ll do that,” Libby said, reaching behind her back and untying her apron. She walked into the break room and hung it on the hook they’d installed for just that purpose, and clocked out.
As she walked back through the kitchen, Richie spoke again. “You opening tomorrow?” he asked.
“Yeah. Same as usual,” she answered absentmindedly.
“See you then,” he answered.
Libby got in her jeep and sat there unsure of exactly where she should go. She would normally go to Lucas’s house, or to Maia’s and visit for a while, or head home and straighten up her own place. Maybe get something to eat, or relax with a glass of wine, but none of those things appealed to her at the moment.