Warm air from Atlas’ mouth hits me, and a rush of adrenaline runs through me, imagining what will happen next. A jolt awakens something inside me, as if I already know what’s about to happen.
I breathe in again, taking in more of the aftershave, wanting more of it, needing the lingering fragrance to infuse me. I’m starting to feel things, I’ve never felt before; a tingling sensation of arousal. I open my eyes and look up at him, I silently plead for him to stay close to me.
The scent overtakes me, and I can't fight him. I don’t have the willpower to stay away from him. As his hand grazes up my back, his touch awakens something inside me which I’ve never felt before. I’m yearning for him to touch me, half of me wants to pull away, but the other half breaks out in goosebumps.
My lips are tingling, I’m craving for him to kiss me, but my head is yelling, “He kidnapped me.” I’m as rigid as a statue, I feel like I’m trapped in a fight between my head and heart.
I take in a sharp breath, and I close my eyes as his hand rests on the small of my back, as the other settles on the back of my neck.
“Look at me,” the whisper comes out so soft, so gentle that I open my eyes.
I don’t want to, but his touch has my heart beating too quick, and I open my eyes, and look up at him real slow. I look at his lips. I shiver as I can feel the air coming from his mouth against my skin. I hear him mumble something to himself as his lips brush against my skin.
Again, I fight with myself; before I can make a decision about who is going to win, Atlas’ lips are on mine, and I surrender as my back hits the wall behind me.
The kiss is soft, warm, but at the same time, hard and dangerous. Something that I’ve never experienced before. I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve been kissed, and not one of them had this much power or control in it.
I open my mouth for him, and his tongue glides with mine, as his body pushes harder into me.
I've become lost in Atlas, in his touch, in his kiss, and I want more. My dreams replay in my head as Atlas' hand moves gently from the back of my neck to my throat. A panic runs through me, making me tense up, why does he have his hand around my neck? That fright is soon gone as Atlas softly strokes his thumb along my neck, relaxing my body, and tells me that he’s not going to hurt me.
I begin to move my tongue with his, his body tenses up, but he's not pulling away; he’s getting deeper into the kiss. A smooth chocolate taste hits my tongue, and an aftertaste of mellow richness lingers, I figure it’s the taste of his morning coffee. Atlas' hand traces down my neck, and with a feather touch, his finger moves down to my scar. As quick as he kissed me, he pulls away. He shakes his head as he looks down at the floor. What just happened? I'm panting, trying to get my breathing to settle, as I watch Atlas shaking his head; he looks up at me, but his glance at my chest, my scar. Something flashes in his eyes, and the first set of tears come to his eyes, his bottom lip is pulled between his teeth. What just happened?
“I’m sorry,” he says, then leaves the room.
I move my fingers to my lips; that shouldn't have happened, but in a messed-up way, it felt right. It felt right the way my kidnapper kissed me. It was like he had kissed me a million times before, and my heart begged for it.
I walk over to the bed where I threw my drawing pad and flick the pad open to the drawing, I started this morning; it’s an image that crept into my dreams and woke me up feeling aroused.
I stare at one of the drawings I did months ago; of blue eyes looking up at me, as their owner gives me pleasure between my legs. That same image woke me up this morning. My dream was of Atlas giving me pleasure, but, as I flick through my pad, it dawns on me that it's not the first time I've woken up with dreams like this. No, this has been going on for months; I've got drawings in here from different nights, of him giving me pleasure, of his eyes staring at me. I can't explain a single one of them.
I look back at the door and wonder what will happen next. Will he let me leave? Soon? Ever?
I walk over to the door to see if I can do anything but sit in here; I mean, he hasn’t said that I can’t leave. As I turn the handle my hand is shaking. Taking a step out, I look into the hallway and there is no one there.
I have no idea why I'm tiptoeing towards the stairs, but I am. As soon as I reach them, I see the Clock walking up to me.
I stop, and so does he. He watches me for a moment, then continues up until he's on the step below mine.
“Planning on running?” he teases.
“Would you stop me?” I ask.
I don't even know where the hell I am; where the fuck would I run to? I don't even know if I'm close to the city, my city, any city; the only thing out of the window is trees and nothing else.
“No, but the closest house here is about a mile away,” he tells me. I look out the large window by the stairs. “Would you like to see the garden?”
“Am I allowed?” I whisper, looking around to see if I can see Atlas anywhere.
“I’ll get Beth, and she can take you,” he jerks his head for me to follow him down the stairs, as he gets his phone out of his pocket. “Beth, can you come to the house please?” with nothing else said he ends the call.
We both stop at the bottom of the stairs, and I try to see what the weather is like, that would at least give me an idea of which state I’m in.
"Rhys, what do you want?" I look at Beth as she walks into the house, and I take a quick look behind her to see where she's come from; a large hallway, that's all I see.
“Someone would like to see the garden,” he tells her, and now I know that the Clock’s name is Rhys.
She gives me a smile, then looks over at Rhys. "He can get fucked; he can't keep her locked in the room," he tells her and walks over to the door Beth came from and presses some buttons, then leaves. I try to take another look, and I see a few girls walking around.
"You don't need to worry about over there," Beth tells me, making me break my stare. I watch her walking to the large glass doors leading to the garden. "It's so beautiful out," Beth stands by the open doors, I take another look over my shoulder at the door. Now she’s said I don't need to know, I want to know; I mean, what’s the secret? Still curious, I walk out with Beth to the garden.
The breeze is warm, not hot like the summer; I love the springtime. I walk further into the huge, and I mean huge, garden; it runs for miles.
As I continue to walk down the garden, the soft green grass tickles my feet, and I look at the apple trees standing tall. I pick an apple off the ground, and I kneel to have a smell of the buttercups. Since I got here, my lips show their first smile.
I sit down on the grass and look out at the trees and flowers. The gardeners are working on a part of the garden about a hundred yards away, making sure that it all looks perfect.
Beth sits on the grass with me, and I turn to face her. "I'm not leaving, am I?" She looks like a woman that won't lie to anyone; she has a caring, motherly look in her eyes. She reminds me of a nurse that looked after me when I was young; she had a look in her eyes of one that cried for me being alone in hospital without family, and that’s what I see now in Beth’s eyes.
"I can promise you two things, one, Atlas will never hurt you; and two, if you really want to go, he won't stop you. But I do think you should give him some time, he's had a hard year," she tells me, and I have to scoff.