“I guess things aren’t going well.”
“Good guess.” I scowl at the laptop before turning to Phoebe again. She’s got her paws up on my knee, sniffing for snacks on the desk. “Sorry, girl, I already finished the popcorn.”
“Don’t let her fool you. She just had her dinner.” He takes a seat on the sofa, not far from me, and settles in without being asked whether it’s okay. And that’s the friendship level we’ve reached.
But this is the first time I’ve seen or spoken to him since Sunday night.
“I should have her do the writing for me. It might turn out better.”
“This is how it always goes, and you know it.”
“Not true.”
“True enough. Every time you’ve written a new book in the last year, you’ve hit this point, where you think it’s never good enough.”
Do I do that every time?
“Okay, even if that’s true, it usually comes later in the process.”
“Hmm. That’s true. You’re just getting started on this one.” He studies his short nails like they’re suddenly very interesting. “How’s that going? The Cleary Oil thing?”
I wonder what he’d say if he knew I could see straight through him. “You mean, the fact that I’m seeing Paxton Cleary? It’s going just fine.”
“Has he tried to lasso you yet?”
“Oh, Matt.” I shake my head. “Come on.”
“That twang in his voice.” He pretends to tip the brim of his invisible hat. “Well, thank you, ma’am. I sure do hope you won’t mind mah boots under your bed come mornin’.”
“Don’t quit your day job.”
He snorts. “Maybe he should quit his.”
“What’s that mean?” I pat Phoebe on the head, distracted now.
“Nothing.” Again with the nails, which are perfectly clean from where I’m sitting.
“No way. You don’t get to say that but not follow up with anything else.”
He steals a look at me from the corner of his eye. “Cleary Oil has been unstable for months.”
“Unstable?”
“There’s been a lot of talk about them lately. The old man is, well, old. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but the board is starting to ask questions. Isn’t it time for him to step down, all that.”
“Hmm.” I won’t tell him about Paxton’s concerns. It wouldn’t be right. But it’s interesting to know others are starting to hear whispers and rumors.
“All I’m saying is, I wouldn’t invest in the company anytime soon. Not until they get this stuff worked out.”
“Good thing I have no intention of investing.” I can’t help but study him closely, the way he’s trying so hard to seem nonchalant. “Is there anything else you think I should know?”
“What else would there be?”
“Oh, for God’s sake. Would you stop going around in circles?”
“I’m not trying to go around in circles.”
“What are you trying to do then?”
“What’s with the third degree?”
“I’m not trying to give you the third degree.”
Phoebe’s bark punctuates this and reminds me to cool off. She’s clearly picking up on the mood in here and not liking it very much.
He blows out a long sigh. “Sorry. You have no idea how frustrating it is to have your every move second-guessed. Not just second-guessed, but the worst is always assumed. I only want to make sure you go into this with your eyes open.”
“And I appreciate that,” I start, speaking slowly and as kindly as I know how. “But here’s what you need to remember. I’m only dating him—”
“For a book. What else is new?”
“Ew.”
“It’s the truth.”
“You’re right. It is the truth. I’m dating him because that’s what I have to do.”
“Bullshit.”
“Don’t talk to me that way.”
“Stop deluding yourself then. You’re not fooling me, so you must be trying to fool yourself.”
“You’re being disgusting, and I never invited you to come in and sit down. If all you want to do is start fights and be a jerk, you can go back across the hall.”
We don’t say anything for a while, and I console myself by getting down on the floor with Phoebe. She knows all about living with an obnoxious creep—poor thing.
“I’m not trying to start a fight,” Matt eventually murmurs with a sigh. “I’m trying to protect you.”
“I don’t need you to do that.”
“If you’re trying to get into a relationship with this guy and you expect things to go smoothly, I just want you to know what you’re getting into. There’s a chance of the old man running the business into the ground, and the entire family could end up losing their money. You deserve to know that.”
Is he right? It all lines up with what Paxton was already talking about last night.
Not that it matters. I have to get a little clarity on this, and now’s the only time to do it. If I don’t get myself together now, I’ll only end up falling harder for Paxton and earn myself a ton of grief.
“I don’t want there to be anything more with him.” It’s not technically the truth, but I’ll tell myself this as many times as necessary to get my head in the right place.
He shoots me a look that, if I’m trying to be nice, could be considered disbelieving.
“Why can’t I just have fun? Why can’t I enjoy my life? Isn’t that what you and Hayley are always trying to convince me to do? Now, I’m having fun, and that’s not good enough either. I wish you would make up your mind.”
“If I thought you were the sort of person who could stay casual and have fun without getting emotionally wrapped up, I wouldn’t care so much. I don’t want you to get hurt. Or be disappointed. Isn’t that what friends want for each other?”
When he talks that way, it’s not easy to be mad at him. He always finds a way to get around me when he’s the one who made me mad in the first place.
“I appreciate you caring,” I tell Phoebe, meaning it for Matt. It’s easier to say these things to him when I’m looking at her. Something about those deep brown puppy-dog eyes melts me. “And I’ll be careful. I promise.”
“What are you doing this weekend?”
The question is surprising enough to make me forget the dog for a second and snap my head up to look at Matt. “Huh? Where’d that come from?”
“I’m going away for the weekend, and I was wondering if you’d watch her for me.”
“Oh, sure.”
“You don’t think you’ll have big plans?”
I roll my eyes. “Could you not be such a baby?”
“Who’s being a baby?”
“You are. That was such a snarky way to ask.”
“Well, don’t you think you’ll have plans?”
“No, I really don’t.” I can’t help myself. “Where are you going?”
“Out of town for a couple of days. I have some things to do. Nothing to worry about.”