David frowns. “What does that even mean?”
I shrug. “I have no clue. But I think he thinks it’s a competition with you.”
“Because you and I are dating,” David muses, tapping his fingers on the table.
“This is weird,” I blurt out, screwing my face up. “It’s weird, right?”
To his credit, David doesn’t say it’s weird. Chuckling, he admits, “I’ve never dated a woman who was separated before. So, this is new territory for me.”
“It’s new for me, too,” I murmur, taking another sip of wine.
“What did you tell him?” David asks, and I actually choke on the sip I took.
My eyes water as I cough, managing to set my wine down before I spill it. Inhaling, I ask, “What do you mean by what did I tell him?”
David’s expression says he knows I’m not that obtuse. His question is legit. He just stares with one eyebrow cocked. He does have the nicest blue eyes.
“I didn’t say anything,” I finally admit.
“Didn’t tell him you welcomed him trying to win you back?” David suggests.
“Nope.”
“Didn’t tell him that you didn’t want him to try?” he presses.
“No,” I admit a little guiltily.
“Gave him no indication at all what you were feeling?” he asks pointedly.
I shake my head. “I guess I was just shocked.”
“Shocked he wants to make a go of it? Or shocked by something else?”
It’s almost like David’s a little too perceptive, and I know I can’t keep details from him. Not if we’re going to continue to see each other.
I cross my arms on the table, leaning inward a bit. My eyes lock onto his. “He kissed me yesterday. I guess he wanted to prove there was still something between us. And he said he was not afraid to go head to head with you to win me back.”
David’s lips press flat, and he nods with understanding. “A competition, huh? And you’re the prize?”
“It’s so stupid,” I assure him.
“Is it really?” he asks in a low voice. “You have a lot of history with him. A daughter. Why wouldn’t you give him a chance?”
I lift my chin, not letting my gaze waver. “Because, honestly, I don’t think he can make me happy. I don’t think he knows what I want and even if he did, I doubt he has the ability to give it to me.”
“Then tell him not to bother,” David suggests, but it’s more than a suggestion. He’s deftly pushed me into this corner where I’ve said I don’t believe in Jim. David is probably right… I should dissuade my husband from even trying.
“You and I seem to have something good,” I say softly.
David nods, reaching out across the table and I easily put my hand in his. “I think so.”
My gaze moves down to my hand in his. It’s a nice hand. Strong. Sure. Comforting.
“But,” I continue, bringing my gaze up. “I wonder…”
“If he could be what you want?” he finishes for me.
“I’m pretty sure he can’t.” I shake my head in consternation. “But there’s that tiny part that just wonders. And, like you said, we have history.”
Much to my surprise, David doesn’t pull away. Instead, he squeezes my hand. “It sounds like I still have a shot then.”
My eyebrows shoot up, my eyes flaring with surprise. “You’d want to keep seeing me? Even if my husband tries to pursue me?”
“Well,” he drawls with a grin. “You don’t seem confident he can do it. Seems like the odds are in my favor, right?”
I frown, confused by his response. I thought he’d graciously call us quits. “So you want to continue to date me, but you’re okay if I date my husband?”
The look I get is a bit censuring. “No, that’s not what I said. But, for now, he hasn’t asked you out. He’s only made some big talk. It’s not like he’s done anything to concern me.”
My gaze drops guiltily, and I tug my hand free. “Actually… when he kissed me, it was…”
I don’t know what it was, but I felt it everywhere. I can’t say that to David, because then he’ll want to know if his kisses make me feel that way… and they just don’t. But won’t that come with time? As we get to know each other better?
“Oh, boy,” David says in dismay. “That kiss was something, wasn’t it?”
I shake my head because David is inferring the emotional feeling it might have produced. “It was intimate,” I correct. “Proprietary, like he was staking a claim. But I pushed him away and told him that wasn’t what I needed to make me happy.”
“I see,” he murmurs in dismay.
“I pushed him away,” I reiterate.
But did you really want to, Ella?
Shoving that thought down, I pin my gaze on David. “I know this just made things messy, and I would not fault you at all if you want to walk the other way. I have no clue what Jim may or may not do. But I wanted you to know that he said he wants to make an effort.”
David seems to consider that. Our waiter starts to approach us, but David shakes his head, waving him off. Bringing his attention to me, he asks, “And what do you want, Ella?”
It’s a fair question. He wants me to pick him over Jim affirmatively, but it’s not about that with me. “I just want to be happy, David.”
David rubs his jaw with his hand, his expression dubious, which is why I’m surprised when he says, “I’d like to keep seeing you, Ella. I like you a lot. And I understand you want to take things slow. I am still cool with that, too. But if it ever comes to the point we can’t progress because you want something with Jim, I hope you’ll be upfront with me about it.”
“Of course I would,” I exclaim. “I would never string you along, nor would I do that to Jim. All I know is I like you, too. And what you and I have is what I’m sure about in my mind. Yes, we might be going slow, but I just came out of a very unhappy situation. I’m not sure if Jim’s even serious about any of this, but I just wanted you to know what he proclaimed. I want to give you the opportunity to walk away from this because it’s not simple for me right now.”
Before responding, David takes my hand in his once again. “I respect your honesty, and it’s just another thing about you that I find myself drawn to. I might stick around a while to see where this goes.”
My face breaks into a wide smile. “That makes me happy.”
Which is the truth. A real truth, because David is a genuine guy whom I like a lot.
But the one thing I hold back from him is that, deep down inside, even if David and I progressed and Jim never followed through with his big words, I know I’ll never love anyone the way I loved Jim. And I have to wonder what type of disservice I would be doing to David by letting him fall for a woman like that.
I shake the thought off.
Nothing is serious with David at this point. We’re two people who like each other and have a good time. We’ve enjoyed some goodnight kisses that might have gotten a little deeper each time he bids me farewell at my door, but I’ve been upfront with him since we were set up on a blind date.