Holly shook her head and let out a little harrumph. “Well, it’s not like he’s known Delilah since they were kids. I’m just trying to talk about his situation, not mine.”
“What did you say?”
Delilah was silent on the other end. Her sigh filtered through the phone line, and I sensed she was annoyed. Meanwhile, I was shocked and confused.
“My father is sick.”
I remembered how she had carefully avoided introducing me to her parents, even after I had asked her about it. I was becoming painfully aware of how little I knew about Delilah. It wasn’t just the status of nursing school. It was everything.
“How sick?” I asked.
“He’s dying,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice coming out rough. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
Trying to imagine her face, I pictured her eyes looking at me suspiciously because I knew she didn’t like it when I asked personal questions. Just now, I was starting to feel like she was never going to let this thing with us be anything more than at arm’s length. In our case, there was almost an entire continent between us.
“I don’t know. I don’t talk a lot about my personal life. With anyone. I’m not used to it. When I was growing up, I couldn’t invite friends over because of how things were at home, so it’s a habit not to talk about it,” she explained.
“When did you find out he was sick?” I asked gently.
“Not long after I got back from my trip over the holidays.”
I could hear the defensiveness in her tone. I reminded myself that it wasn’t helpful for me to get upset with her for not telling me this. It wasn’t the details that I was upset about. It was realizing just how much she kept herself at bay from me.
“Is this why you didn’t want me to meet your parents when I was visiting?”
“I guess. Alex, don’t take this personally. My mom and I talk, but I haven’t been close to my dad. Ever. He has colon cancer, and it’s bad. My mother says the doctors say he’s only got a few months left.”
“I’m so sorry, Delilah.” My words felt like they fell far too short of what she needed. I wanted to hold her.
Because I came from a loving family, it was hard for me to imagine how she must feel. I wanted to be able to see her face. “Can we switch to a video call?” I asked, my mouth running ahead of my thoughts.
Delilah was quiet for a few beats, the silence heavy through the phone line. “Okay,” she finally whispered.
“I’m hanging up, and I’ll call right back.”
As soon as I hit the button to end the call, I realized she might not answer again. I tapped to open the video call screen, hit her number, and waited. My breath came out in a whoosh when she answered. She wasn’t really a fan of video calls. I tried to get her to do them every night, and she was always squirrely about it.
I sensed I knew exactly why. There was nowhere to look but at each other.
“Hey,” I said softly when I saw her face. Lines of tension bracketed her eyes and mouth, and she looked tired.
“Fuck,” Delilah began, nervously brushing her hair away from her face. “You’re so good and so nice, and I’m just not used to having anyone even ask. I hope you don’t take it the wrong way that I didn’t mention what was going on with my father sooner.”
Crazy as it sounded, her worry made me a little happy. Not because I wanted her to be worried. No, that scored my heart with sharp claws, and I hated that she was thousands of miles away from me. Yet her worry meant she understood this mattered to me, that she mattered to me. That felt incredible, like a monumental achievement.
“It’s okay,” I said. “I’m really sorry about your dad. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Delilah’s pretty mouth twisted as she shook her head. “No. It’s just weird. I went over there yesterday when my mom said he might be awake. He was, but he was pretty out of it. They’re already giving him hospice care. He’s been an alcoholic his whole life, and now he’s doped up on pain medicine. I don’t mind. I want him to be comfortable.”
“I’m glad he’s comfortable, even if he’s out of it.” I paused, trying to gather my thoughts. I forged ahead even though I wasn’t even clear on what I was trying to express. “I can’t say I know or understand what you went through growing up because my childhood wasn’t like that. I do know it would be hard not to have parents I felt like I could turn to, and I’m sorry you didn’t have that. If there’s anything I could give you, I want to give you a place where you feel like you belong.”
Delilah’s gaze searched mine through the phone screen. I thought I saw a little flicker of something in her eyes, but I wasn’t sure.
“I’d love that,” she finally said. “Tell me about your family.”
“Well, you know Holly. She’s my twin sister. It was just me and her. My father is a pilot, like me.”
“You’re a pilot too?” Delilah interjected.
“Yeah, I hadn’t mentioned that? My job is an airplane mechanic, but I can also fly.” She smiled, and damn, that felt good. “So yeah, like Nate. You remember him from Christmas, right?” At Delilah’s nod, I continued, “My dad was a bush pilot, and he flew all over Alaska before he retired. My mom is a nurse. She’s retired. Well, not one hundred percent. She fills in when they need help in a pinch at the hospital. Before you get here for your visit, you should know Holly wants you to do your internship in Willow Brook at the hospital. She also gave me a lecture because apparently, I’m supposed to know everything about your nursing program.”
Delilah laughed. “How is Holly? Also, next year is when I’m scheduled to do my internship.”
I didn’t miss that she completely avoided addressing Holly’s proposal that she do it in Willow Brook, but I decided to leave that alone for now. “Holly’s just fine. My parents are still together, and they still live in the house where I grew up. Whether you want to or not, I’m not sure I can avoid having you meet them when you come to visit. Willow Brook is a small town, and Holly’s already told them you’re coming. Sorry about that.”
She shrugged lightly. “It’s okay. I already met Holly. If I can handle her, I can probably handle your parents, right?”
“You can handle anyone, Delilah.”
Her cheeks went pink. “I have a class in five minutes. I should go because I need to get some dinner heated up before I start.”
“Got it. Thanks for telling me about your dad.”
Delilah nodded. She pressed two fingers to her lips and blew a kiss to me.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Delilah
“Hey, Dee,” my father said, using a nickname only he ever used with me.
When I was little, I hated it because it represented a laziness to me, like everything he did. Just as he couldn’t be bothered to keep a job, not to drink, and just generally do life, he also couldn’t manage to say my full name. Not that anything was wrong with that particular nickname. It’s just no one else used it with me.