He’d texted her twice and left two voice messages. His pride wouldn’t let him leave any more.
If she wanted to leave without so much as a word to him, well, that was all he needed to know about how she felt. Obviously he’d been wrong about her. Wrong about what they shared and the connection they had. Very wrong.
He should have known something like this would happen. He’d been burned by women before. He should know better than to open up his heart.
But even as he let himself think those things, he couldn’t make himself believe them. Bella was different. He just knew it. What he had with her…it was different.
It didn’t matter that it hadn’t been long. Time didn’t matter. He just needed to…what?
Jeremy looked down at the shoe he’d just kicked across the floor.
He needed to go for a run.
After a quick change, Jeremy laced up his shoes, took one last look at his cell phone, and hit the road. It was a clear night and with no cloud cover, it was cold, not that it bothered Jeremy. He pushed his body hard on the icy roads, only vaguely registering that he should be careful. Breaking a leg the day before Christmas wouldn’t benefit anyone.
The colorful lights on almost every house and tree cast bright shadows on the snow under his feet as he pressed on, trying to ignore the fact that he’d be celebrating the holiday without Bella.
He ran until he couldn’t think anymore. Until all thoughts of Bella, their time together, and her leaving were erased from his brain, replaced only by the basic thoughts of putting one foot in front of the other, inhaling and exhaling as he pushed through the quiet streets of Glacier Falls.
It wasn’t until over an hour later when, exhausted, he crawled into bed and closed his eyes that thoughts of Bella once more filled his brain.
Chapter 10
The next morning, Jeremy needed almost an entire pot of coffee to pull himself together enough to face the day. He’d been up way too late tossing and turning after his run, which had only worked to clear his mind until he stopped moving. The truth was he couldn’t turn off his brain and no matter how he tried, he couldn’t stop thinking of Bella or what went wrong between them for her to leave without a word.
Sure, Roy said she had a gig with her band. A good one. A career-changing gig. And he would never in a million years begrudge her that opportunity. But she hadn’t said good-bye.
And that was the one thing he’d focused on all night until finally, the sun streamed through his window. With the dawning of a new day, he was out of time. He had turkeys to get into the oven at the fire station for dinner later that night, and there was no way he was going to even try to explain why he couldn’t get it done this year.
No. There was simply no time for a broken heart on Christmas Eve. Not for Jeremy.
As it turned out, working in the kitchen at the firehall was a great way to put thoughts of Bella out of his mind, and he’d done a great job of hiding any hurt or heartache that he was feeling.
Or so he’d thought.
It wasn’t until they got the last bird in the oven, that Stephanie Starz, who’d jumped in with both hands to help out now that she was Glacier Falls’ newest resident, turned and snapped a dishtowel at him.
“What’s up?” she asked when he gave her a what the hell look.
“What do you mean?” He grabbed the empty bowls that had held the bread crumbs they’d used to stuff inside the birds and tossed them in the sink before picking up a rag.
“With you,” she said. “What’s going on? You seem…”
“Festive?” He made his best effort to grin. “Busy? Overwhelmed with a huge to-do—”
“Sad.”
She said it so matter-of-factly, Jeremy decided not to even bother trying to deny it.
“I am.” He shrugged and turned his back to fill the sink with hot soapy water. “She left.”
“Bella.”
It wasn’t a question, so he didn’t reply.
“It’s hard to be involved with someone with a career like hers.”
Jeremy turned around, suds on his hands, and looked at his new friend. Not long ago, she’d been engaged to be married in what was supposed to be the wedding of the century according to the tabloids, but at the last minute, had called it off.
“I know a few things about that,” she said simply.
He offered her a sad smile. “I guess you do.”
Without asking, Steph joined him at the sink. He turned his attention to the dishes, handing each one to her for drying.
“I heard she was offered a pretty big opportunity.”
He nodded without asking how she knew. In a small town like Glacier Falls, it wasn’t unusual for word to get around quickly.
“That’s what it sounds like.”
“Hard to say no to.”
He shrugged. “I guess.” He handed her a large platter.
“I don’t pretend to know what it’s like for everyone,” she said after a moment. “But I do know that with people like us it’s almost impossible to separate your worlds.” Jeremy turned to stare at her but she was focused on the plate in her hands. “It’s acting for me,” she continued. “It’s like a drug. Like a pull. I can’t not do it. When I’m on set, I feel alive, like I’m doing what I was born to do. Does that make sense?”
He nodded as she finally looked at him.
“I guess it might be like when I’m fighting a fire. It’s as if I were meant to be there in that moment, saving that building and saving lives.”
Steph smiled. “Exactly. And when you put it that way, your career is far more noble.”
“That’s ridiculous. It’s just different.” He shut her down. “The arts are crucial and we all know it. We’d go insane if we didn’t have entertainment. It’s not better or worse. It’s just different.”
“Thank you for that.”
“I mean it.” He handed her a glass bowl.
“Do you understand maybe why she left the way she did?”
Jeremy thought about it for a moment, but finally he shook his head.
“Would you be able to choose?” she asked him. “Between firefighting and her?”
He moved to shake his head, but something stopped him. “It’s different.”
Her smile was sad, like a woman who knew the answer and knew he was wrong only because she herself had seen more than her share of heartbreak because of a career she loved.
“I never asked her to.” His voice was laced with sadness, because he already knew what she was going to say.
“That’s the point, Jeremy. You didn’t have to.”
“That’s a wrap, everyone. Go home, get dressed, and see you there at five sharp.”
Bella sank into the sofa that had been pushed against the wall of Kyle’s studio apartment and dropped her head back, letting her eyes close for a moment. Between the drive through the mountains, the exhausting rehearsal the night before followed by a mostly sleepless night and another morning of rehearsals, she wasn’t sure how she was going to keep her eyes open long enough to actually get through the gig later that night.
“I know what you need.”