Holly gave me an assessing look. “Caden was a nice guy back then, and I doubt he’s turned into an asshole. Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s not my vibe. I ran into him at the gas station just this morning. He seems as nice as he ever was. Maybe a little more reserved than he used to be, but I think most people in his situation would be.”
I nodded because what she said made sense. Caden felt the way he did before. Maybe different, maybe a little banged up from life in both good and bad ways, but the core of him was true.
“You could always have a hot holiday fling,” Maisie suggested with a sly smile.
I couldn’t help but flush a little. “Perhaps.”
“There’s only one way to know,” Amelia said.
“To know what?” I pressed, looking toward Amelia.
“To know if you need to get him out of your system, or if there’s something more. Take it from someone else who ended up back with my high school sweetheart,” she explained.
“So, you didn’t know right off when you saw him again?”
Amelia shook her head. “Not totally. I was pretty sure, but there’s the whole nostalgia factor, which you can’t really control.”
“I say give it a shot,” Holly added. “When I saw Caden at the gas station, he told me he’s going to be here all the way through Christmas. That’s three weeks away. If nothing ever comes of it, you can always say you had a hot fling with a rock star.”
I rolled my eyes. “He was actually my boyfriend before, so I guess I could say that now.”
“Yeah, but he wasn’t a hot rock star then,” Lucy said.
Conversation was interrupted when Beck came through the kitchen door. A toddler boy was walking at his side, gripping his hand, while Beck held a smaller girl with his other arm. Both of the kids clapped eyes on Maisie. Beck dropped the hand of the little boy. Maisie smiled as she leaned over from her chair. “Hey, Max,” she commented as she lifted him into her lap and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
Beck stopped beside her, and she leaned over to kiss their little girl. Beck glanced around. “Sorry about interrupting card night.” He looked toward Maisie. “I’m gonna put them to bed, and we’ll stay upstairs.”
Max started to protest. “Daddy, I want—” Beck moved quickly, snagging two juice boxes out of the fridge with one hand. “Do you want some juice? Only way to get that is to come upstairs with me.”
There was a little twinge of envy in my heart, watching as Beck leaned over and kissed Maisie on the cheek before making his way up the stairs. He somehow managed to navigate with their daughter in one arm and his hand juggling the juice boxes as Max climbed the stairs carefully at his side.
Maisie watched them disappear, smiling over at us. “He’s good,” she offered with a grin.
“He is,” I replied. “He used to be such a flirt in high school. It’s kinda funny to see him all settled down as a family man.”
Maisie chuckled. “Beck is still a horrible flirt. He flirts with everything.”
“Everything?”
She nodded. “I think he would flirt with a rock if it presented itself in the right situation. He’s an amazing dad.”
“And totally whipped,” Lucy chimed in.
Maisie flushed slightly. Conversation moved on to matters other than husbands. As I looked around at old friends and new friends, I wondered what I wanted. I never imagined myself getting married and divorced so quickly. I certainly never imagined I’d even see Caden again. Not after he got so famous.
He was hardly out of my thoughts. Whether it was nostalgia or something more, he was oh, so tempting. I didn’t want to admit he was right, but that one kiss, and then another, had done absolutely nothing to cool the embers of our old connection. It had flickered to life, and now the flame held steady.
As I was leaving, Amelia happened to be walking outside with me. When she reached her car parked beside mine, she looked over. “I’m not much for giving advice, but I have one suggestion. Maybe ask yourself if you’re always going to wonder if you don’t see what happens. Because if you’re going to wonder, then don’t make it a regret.”
I let out a startled laugh. “Well, geez, that’s kind of heavy.”
She smiled. “Maybe, but that’s why I decided to give things a shot with Cade.”
She said good night, and I drove home. After going through the gauntlet of my mother’s questions, when I was alone in my old childhood bedroom, my fingers twitched with the urge to text Caden and tell him I wanted to see him again.
Caden
My shoulders were shaking with laughter as Cade looked over at Beck in exasperation. “Dude, cut the shit.”
Beck shrugged, unabashed. “I’m serious. Is Amelia pregnant again? I’d actually bet money on it.” He looked at Levi who I’d met tonight. “How much do you want to bet?”
“Nothing, dude,” Levi replied. “That’s ridiculous, betting on how many kids people are going to have.”
“I’m good with two,” Beck replied easily.
“And I’m good with one,” Levi offered.
“How about you?” Beck looked over at me.
“Kids?” I returned, a little startled by his question.
“Yeah. Just because you’re a rock star doesn’t mean you can’t have a family.”
Cade cast me a grin. “Plus, we heard from Janet this morning that you had dinner with Brynn.”
I groaned. “Oh, my fucking God. It’s like an actual tabloid, but it’s the telephone game instead.”
Beck chuckled. “It is.”
Levi piped up, “Lucy told me to warn you.”
He was referring to his wife, who I’d met the other day at coffee at Firehouse Café where Janet was apparently spreading gossip about me.
“Warn me?” I prompted.
“Lucy said she’ll kick your ass if you hurt Brynn,” he commented, his tone dry.
Beck nodded, and Cade’s lips were twitching with a smile. Ward, who I’d only just met tonight, was a little quieter, although I did see a glint in his eyes. I took a swallow of my beer, twirling the bottle between my fingertips when I lowered it and glanced around the table. “I’m not going to hurt Brynn. I don’t even know if she’s going to give me a chance.”
“Dude, you’re a fucking rock star,” Beck replied. “I’m sure if she doesn’t give you a shot, someone else will.”
“That’s the problem. I only want Brynn.”
When Beck had invited me to get together with the guys at Wildlands, I’d accepted, because it felt good to connect with old friends. There were some curious looks when I came in, but no one interrupted us. It was downright nice to be with people who knew me before my life turned into the crazy shitshow fame brought along with it.
Although I certainly hadn’t expected it, this night with the guys only strengthened what I knew I wanted with Brynn. Maybe she wasn’t there yet, but the old feelings I had had more than held strong. I just needed to remind her of how much we meant to each other.
A few hours later, I let myself into the empty house again. Usually, getting a woman to give me a chance wasn’t something I had to work for. Not the past few years. But it always felt skin deep, as if they didn’t really want me. They wanted the image and the idea. Not me.