“I may kiss you anyway,” he said, getting lost in her soft brown eyes.
AMITY DIDN’T KNOW WHAT to say so she made a joke. “To show your Norman ruling-class authority?”
The duke’s handsome mouth started to twitch, and then he laughed. “Yes, exactly.” Still, he didn’t release her but displayed his dimples until she wanted to melt.
“There is no purpose to our speaking alone,” she reminded him. Already, her family would be wondering where she was, and when they noticed the duke’s absence as well....
“That’s a lie, and you know it,” he protested. “There is our future at stake, and if we are to have children, countless more, as well.”
“Countless!” Amity couldn’t help her exclamation. “Perhaps three, I would say.” Inappropriately, her thoughts flew to being in bed with Henry Westbrook, Duke of Pelham, and creating those children.
“Fine,” he continued. “That’s at least five lives which our speaking alone will impact — no, six if we include Mr. Cole’s, which we must because you won’t release the man from this travesty of an engagement.”
“It is not a travesty. This—” and she gestured between herself and Henry, “—this is a travesty. We are not engaged, nor will we ever be.”
“Give me a good reason, and I shall leave you alone. And do not again mention your current engagement as that is no impediment at all.”
Amity didn’t care for his easy dismissal of Jeremy. “All right, the reason you and I cannot marry is because you are a duke, a peer of the realm.” That was as plain as she could make it.
He made a sound of sheer exasperation. “Surely, that is a mark in my favor, not a reason for you to remain engaged to your lawyer friend.”
“If I must say it even more clearly, Your Grace, you and I do not suit. I am a shopkeeper’s daughter. I do not belong with you in the world of the haut ton.”
“Then we shall remain far from them if they bother you. Regardless, I know with your intelligence, you can learn any trifling social etiquette of which you may be uninformed.”
She shook her head. “Even if I could easily catch up with everything Lady Madeleine so kindly pointed out she learned while in the nursery, what about my chocolates?”
“What about them?” He frowned, and she wanted to smooth the lines from his forehead, but he would never be hers to touch.
“I could not be a chocolatier as a duchess, therefore, Your Grace, I cannot be your wife.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Henry’s silence confirmed her worries, especially as he let his hand fall away from her arm, releasing her.
However, when Amity took a few steps in the direction the others had taken, he called to her again, “Miss Rare-Foure.”
“Yes, Your Grace.”
“Please, give me a few moments of your time tonight, whenever we can slip away from the others. After that, I vow to leave you alone. Tomorrow, I will return to Town unless things have changed.”
She could hardly refuse him when he was being so reasonable. “Very well. Somehow tonight, I will meet with you.”
AMITY’S STOMACH WAS aflutter all through dinner. Every time she looked at Henry, she thought about talking with him later and what he would say. It might be their final time alone. When she glanced at Jeremy who was keeping a close eye on her after her brief disappearance at the castle earlier, she grew even more anxious. If he found her alone with the duke, she knew he would think less of her, possibly even break off their engagement.
She didn’t want that. Did she? She could easily see herself married to Jeremy and having a happy life, just as today had been.
Yet when she thought of never seeing Henry again, aching sadness left her deeply troubled and terribly conflicted. In truth, she had enjoyed the day as much due to his presence as Jeremy’s.
“Are you well, Amity?” her mother asked.
She looked up from her pottage.
“Yes, why?”
“You sighed heavily as if you had the weight of Ajax upon your shoulders.”
“Did I?” Amity glanced guiltily at Jeremy to see him staring at her. She purposefully smiled at him and did not look at Henry.
Already feeling as if she had done something wrong, she tried to join in with the conversation during the rest of the meal while her thoughts went around in circles. Even if Jeremy did not exist and she had not already promised herself to him, she would not be the right choice for the duke, nor him for her. Giving up being a chocolate-maker was, frankly, impossible. Amity would be miserable the rest of her life.
On the other hand, if she tried to be a duchess and a chocolatier, she would be frowned upon, and Henry would be ridiculed. Together, they would be shunned. Ultimately, she would be forced to give it up.
Then what? She would have to learn to live the life of Lady Madeleine and the rest of the haut ton, which Amity only vaguely understood. Charity work, clubs, and lunches during the day. Hosting parties and balls in the evenings. It sounded like a numbing existence. Except there would be Henry to wake up to in the mornings and go to bed with at night. Henry!
He made her laugh and made her heart race. And there would be children for her to love and to raise. She could help her sisters to come out in society and find them good matches. Or at least help Charlotte, who was amenable to London’s social life. Beatrice would undoubtedly still forego having a Season, but Amity could introduce her to suitable gentlemen anyway.
She wasn’t certain she knew what suitable meant anymore. Besides, apart from everything else involved with irresponsibly allowing the duke to sweep her away, she had already agreed to marry Jeremy. To go back on her word was not like her. To hurt him was abhorrent.
What a ridiculous conundrum!
The evening passed slowly and also quickly by fits and starts. When it was nearly time to retire, Amity had found no way to meet with the duke alone. She’d even tried excusing herself from a hand of Rubicon Piquet to go to the water-closet, hoping he would find an excuse to follow. Instead, when she exited the small room in the back hall, it was Jeremy who stood close by.
She had the distinct feeling he’d followed her.
“Are you alone?” he asked, his tone filled with dread, and Amity felt a shard of remorse slice through her at giving him even an instant’s disquiet.
“Of course. What a question?” she said before adding, “It’s all yours,” as she gestured to the water-closet behind her.
Jeremy nodded and went in even though she didn’t think he really had need of it. Only then did she notice the duke lurking at the end of the passageway. He must have followed her out and raised Jeremy’s curiosity.
With a curt shake of her head, she hurried back into the parlor. In another half hour, everyone declared themselves ready to retire. When Henry reached the parlor door, he looked back. With Jeremy’s gaze steadily trained on her, she could do nothing except bid the duke goodnight. As had previously occurred, Jeremy stayed behind to have a few minutes alone.
Tonight, she feared the discussion would not be nearly so lighthearted as the previous night when they’d talked of visiting his parents in Scotland or making engagement announcements.