The Elk Lodge finally disappeared behind a thick stand of pine trees, and a few minutes later, they burst out onto the highway. It was a slow escape. She wished for frenzy and speed and longed to tell the driver to step on it, but enough snow had fallen to make driving a little dicey and he was rightfully cautious all the way to the airport.
They finally arrived at the airport, the driver casting a questioning look in her direction. “You sure you want to get dropped here?” He hefted her suitcase onto the sidewalk. “There might not be any flights out for a while on account of the storm.”
“I’m sure.” She thanked him, paid with an extra-large tip, and headed inside.
The woman at the ticket counter gave her an apologetic frown when she asked about the next flight to Vegas. It had been scheduled to depart in two hours, but on account of the snow there was a delay. Which meant she would be forced to camp out at Gate 11 for eight hours before being able to board the plane.
It wasn’t like she had a choice. Anna paid for the ticket and made her way to the gate for the long wait. Eight hours became nine, and then ten, and the day fell into a dark winter evening. Anna put her head back on the chair she’d claimed as her own and closed her eyes. At least with it dark outside, she couldn’t see the snow and the road back to the Elk Lodge. Small blessings.
It had been twelve hours by the time the screen at the gate lit up and the agent announced they would begin boarding the flight to Las Vegas in fifteen minutes. Anna pulled herself out of her slump and checked to make sure she had everything. Waiting in the airport didn’t break her. Freddie didn’t break her. And Gabe Elkin wouldn’t break her either, no matter what.
18
Gabe replayed a livestream of every memory he had with Anna. The highlight reel started at their first meeting together after he’d hired her to work with him. She’d laughed so hard at something he said that her can of Diet Coke had fallen from her hand and splashed on the floor of his office, and he hadn’t cared. Not at all. Memory after memory assailed him.
“You still with us, Gabe?” Chase’s voice cut into Gabe’s trip down memory lane, slamming him back into his present body. The one that ached with missing her.
“I’m right here,” he said, trying to keep the edge out of his voice. This was not how he’d planned for the holiday to go. Anna was gone and his family royally ticked off at him.
They’d gathered in his grandmother’s apartment after Anna had gone, the hours passing like years. Shame swept across his face in a hot burn, and then it was gone in a flash of shock. She’d left.
Gabe rubbed a thumb across his forehead and thought about running back to Vegas to hide behind the corporate wall. The snow had stopped coming down. If he wanted, he could have the private plane prepared for departure. But if he did that, he’d be turning his back on his sick grandmother—something he couldn’t do.
The silence grew heavy in the living area of the apartment. The place was decorated in shades of burgundy, its leather furniture and cozy rug arranged to perfection. She kept no clutter on any of the surfaces and it reminded Gabe of a pristine museum with its recreated rooms from the past in full detail, and this room was from his past. And he couldn’t see any part of his future here. None. His future had taken a taxi to the airport and presumably flown back to Nevada. Gabe hadn’t sent her a message yet. His phone felt almost radioactive in his pocket. Soon it would swallow him whole, and then where would he be?
“I just don’t get how you could have done something so crazy,” Jonas said. He leaned back on the sofa across from Gabe and stared at him with a searching glare. “Getting a woman to pose as your fiancée is worse than abandoning us in favor of living in Las Vegas.”
Gabe let out a bitter laugh. “Nothing I do has been the right decision for the family.” Anna’s voice whispered in his ear again, talking him down and reminding him that this was the Elkin way of expressing affection. “I love all of you, and I’m lucky to have been raised here, but it’s been difficult.” Some of the anger went out of him at the uncomfortable movement Chase made as he glanced at Tana. Jonas looked at the floor. His grandmother patted her hands on the arms of her chair.
“I think it’s time for me and Gabe to talk privately for a few minutes,” she said, her tone brooking no opposition.
“I agree,” Jonas said, quickly rising to his feet. He kissed their grandmother on the cheek, and then he was gone, heading for the door at top speed.
Chase took more time as he and Tana each bent to embrace their grandmother and then left the room together.
A pang of envy shot through Gabe. It would be better if Anna were here to hold his hand, but it hadn’t panned out that way. Alone with his grandmother, he was wildly uncomfortable. His skin felt raw, and so did his heart. It had been displayed for his family without a single thing to hide behind, and it wasn’t a sensation Gabe ever wanted to get used to.
His grandmother gazed directly at him. “I’m sorry, Gabe.”
“What?” He’d expected her to have lots to say on the subject, but not that. “I should be the one apologizing for what I did to you.” Another wave of emotion crashed into him, shameful and awful. “I lied to all of you.”
She held up a hand. “I know I was hard on you when you were growing up. On your brothers, too.” She put her fingertips to her lips, her eyes momentarily glazed over as if deep in thought. “I wanted to do right by you, and at the time, that meant making sure you were the best you could possibly be. Obviously, that backfired.”
“It didn’t.” Gabe didn’t want her to think she’d done a lousy job of parenting them—far from it. “It didn’t backfire, Grandmother. You set us all up to be highly successful. And I am.”
“That may be true, but it also resulted in one of my grandsons moving far away.” He opened his mouth to protest, but she continued. “I don’t judge you for it, Gabe. It’s only natural to want to get out in the world and make your own life. I should have been more accepting of your choices years ago, before they had so much time to wound you like this.”
I’m not wounded, he tried to say, but the words wouldn’t come out. “It’s not that I didn’t want to be here,” he said gruffly. “I did. But I also needed a place to call my own.”
“And you made a wonderful one.” His grandmother’s eyes misted over. “It’s me who wanted something different. I wanted you home for the holidays—all of you—because when you’re here, I feel like I’m keeping you safe. You and your brothers are everything to me. Sometimes, an old woman lets her feelings get the better of her.”
“Nobody can possibly blame you for that.” Gabe reached over and took her hand. “After the way we lost my parents, it’s perfectly understandable.”
Grandmother shook her head. “What’s not understandable is how blind I was to your unhappiness. I did this to you. I’m at least partially responsible because I didn’t understand the real you. And all those years and all those girlfriends, I thought they didn’t understand you, either. That’s why I disapproved of them. Not because I thought they weren’t good enough for you—any of them could have been your wife. But I didn’t get the sense they loved you for who you really were. But all along, I didn’t understand either.”