“Samuel,” Milly warns.
Hank shoots her a look. “No, it’s okay. I appreciate you being honest. I know I can’t just make this all go away, as much as I want to. That’s not how forgiveness works. But I think we do need to get to a place that allows our family to function.”
“I agree,” Milly says. “We need to keep the business running. But more than that, we need to keep the family safe, and we need to stick together.”
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I don’t see how we can do that with the three of us in the picture. Emma and Hank and me. How the fuck do we stick together when I feel like I’m gonna be stabbed in the back every time I turn a corner? And how do you think Emma’s gonna feel, being in the same room as the two of us?”
Hank’s brows shoot up. “I heard Emma was back. But Beau said she resigned?”
“She did. But I’m determined to change that. She says one of us has to go if we’re going to make this work. And of course she thinks it should be her.”
“No,” Hank says. Voice barely above a grumble. “I’m the one who should go.”
My gut seizes.
Milly’s head snaps in his direction. “Go where?”
“I don’t know. Anywhere but here.”
“I disagree,” Milly replies. “Running away isn’t going to solve anything.”
Hank pushes off the sofa and gets to his feet. “Neither is staying, Milly. Look, maybe we all just need some time to cool off and process. Samuel’s right. I can’t be around Emma right now, and Emma shouldn’t have to be around me.”
I agree with him on all points. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling guilty. And regret—that’s what keeps catching inside my stomach.
Yes, Hank should go, but I’m going to miss him. How fucked up is that?
Then again, families are fucked up, even the best ones, so maybe this is just par for the course.
“Are you resigning?” Milly asks, eyes wide as she stands too.
Hanks shrugs. “Sure. If that’s what y’all need me to do.”
“Hank,” I say.
He cuts me a glare. “This is my call, Samuel. As a matter of fact, it’s something I should’ve done a long time ago. You need to be on the farm for that big wedding we’ve got coming up. Besides, I’m not sure I fit in here.”
“That’s not true.”
“Admit it. The farm, the business—that show belongs to you and Beau. Y’all won’t miss me when I’m gone.”
I grab at him, but he yanks his arm out of my grasp at the last minute. “Stop talking crazy.”
He rolls his eyes. “I’m not gonna hurt myself. I’m just gonna get gone for a while. Go on that retirement bender I never got around to last year.”
“But you’ll be back, right?” Milly asks.
Hank looks me dead in the eye. “You say you need time? Take it. I’m giving you all the time you need to learn to trust me again. Me being out of the picture, it’ll give us all space to breathe. Think.” He slides his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “Give you and Emma time to be together without me around.”
“You sure?”
“If that’s what it takes to keep our family together, yes. I’m sure.”
Wow. Here’s my baby brother, showing way more maturity than I think I’m capable of.
Milly puts a hand on his arm. “If you don’t come back, you better believe I’ll hunt you down and drag your ass back to this mountain.”
Hank laughs. “Oh, I believe it, all right.” He looks at me. “I know we’re not good. We’re not even okay. But this is my good faith gesture here, Samuel. I love you, and I want you to be happy, and I’ll do what it takes to make that happen. If I get to figure my own shit out in the process, well…guess that’s a bonus.”
He’s right. Despite my anger, in some respects I’m proud of my brother. I just hope Mama doesn’t whoop me for causing a rift between us. Or even worse, I hope she doesn’t take out her frustration on Emma, because she’s not guilty of anything.
But what Beau said is true. I need to fix my relationship with Hank. Our family needs to stay strong. Focused.
“Okay,” I say. “Come to tomorrow’s Sunday supper. Then you can go.”
He nods. “Okay.”
And then he turns and leaves.
Milly glances at me. She’s got tears in her eyes.
I open my arms. “C’mere.”
She buries her face in my chest. I wrap my arms around her and press a kiss onto the crown of her head.
“You sure this is a part of your happy ending with Emma?” Milly asks. “Watching your brother walk out the door on his way to God knows where?”
“It’s not the end. Not for me and Hank, anyway. I promise I won’t let our story end without a happily ever after, okay?”
She nods. “Okay.”
I hold her for a while like that, each of us lost in our own thoughts. At last, she draws a quick breath through her nose and straightens. “Now, what’s this about Sunday supper? You’ve got a plan, don’t you?”
“Girl, you know me too well. Course I got a plan. Wanna help?”
She grins. “Like you even need to ask.”
Chat #5
MyBoyBlue4: Hi. I don’t know if you’ll even get this, but coming here seemed right. Better than sending a text, anyway. This is where we started. And I hope this is where we’ll keep going for years to come.
[No reply]
MyBoyBlue4: Okay, well, on the off chance you check the chat, I’d like to invite you to Sunday supper tomorrow. I would really like to talk to you. I’d also like you to see that my family may be bruised, but we’re not broken. Hank and I are actively working on our relationship, and I want you to witness that firsthand. To sweeten the deal, I’ll make Emma’s Cornbread (yes, it’s yours now) and open a bottle or five of that 2016 Screaming Eagle. I’ll do anything to make you feel better. I’m so sorry about how shit went down, Em, and if you’ll let me, I’d like to make it up to you. I’d also like to convince you to stay on at Blue Mountain, but baby steps. Bring your sister if she’s still in town.
[No reply]
MyBoyBlue4: I’m sitting here at my computer and thinking about all the times this chat made me smile. You made me come, but you also made me think, Lady V. That’s one hell of a combination. You’re special, and you’re smart, and you’re creative in ways I wish I could be. I love your pervy brand of intelligence. I love the way your legs look in your sensible heels as much as I love the way they look in V’s stilettos. I dream about the way you describe wine, and how fucking sexy your mastery is (in AND outside the bedroom). I love to think about all the cool things we could do together at the resort. I want you to dominate me day and night, and then I want to return the favor. I want to taste you again, baby. I can’t stop thinking about you.
[No reply]
MyBoyBlue4: So, yeah. Tomorrow. If you can swing it, I’d love for you to come early. Say around 4?
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