“Looks like someone’s ready to party.” LJ stood beside me, not a bead of sweat on him.
“I’m sure you and Marisa have some pre-class ritual including face paint, stuffed animals, and tricycles you’ll wander off into the woods to complete.” I grabbed a towel from the stack and dried off my hair.
“Not the woods. In the backyard,” he said absently, tugging his jersey off. He hadn’t even been wearing pads.
“Did you talk to Coach?”
LJ slammed his elbow against the open door to his locker and bit out a curse. “He’s going to keep me from getting drafted.”
“Why don’t you play his game? Just enough so you get some time out on the field.” I wrapped a towel around my waist, water dripping down my chest.
“And abandon Marisa?” He looked at me like I’d suggested feeding her in little pieces to a swarming sea of crocodiles.
“Asking if she’d go to her dad’s weekly dinners by herself is hardly abandonment. She can sit in silence with him all by herself; she doesn’t need you there as her white knight. Not at the expense of your career. You’d think she’d care about that.”
LJ’s lips slammed together. “Oh really? What about Alexis?” His glare intensified.
I grabbed my shirt off of my locker. “That’s different and you know it.”
“No, it’s not different—at all. Remember your words the next time she calls or texts with some bullshit she needs rescuing from.”
“Who needs rescuing?” Keyton tucked his towel around his waist.
“No one.” I shoved my head into my shirt, trying to get dressed as quickly as possible.
“Alexis,” LJ said at the same time.
Keyton’s eyebrows dipped. “Is that the redhead? The short one who tried to steal LJ’s wallet?”
“Exactly her.” LJ chucked his towel into the giant overflowing bin at the center of the locker room.
“She thought it was mine.” I pulled my brand-new green with white striped Adidas, courtesy of Reece, out of my locker. Apparently, my five-year-old, no-longer-white, bordering-on-holey shoes were too much for him to take, so I finally let him buy some for me. After Seph, his soon-to-be fiancée, and football, shoes were the third most important things to him.
They were nice shoes, but even now, I looked over my shoulder as I grabbed them out of my locker and slipped them on. Even four years after leaving the group home, having brand-new stuff made me paranoid. Most people didn’t want to steal someone else’s shitty stuff. They’d leave it alone and go for flashier, newer things. I needed to break away from that.
“Oh, I get it. She didn’t know she was trying to steal from me. She thought she was stealing from you, and that makes it okay.”
“It’s not stealing if she knows she can take whatever she wants whenever.”
LJ’s frown deepened like there were weights attached to the corners of his lips, dragging them down to the floor. “Good to know she’s got a thievery free pass. Next time she comes by, I’ll padlock my door.”
Water from my hair soaked my t-shirt as I left the stadium, needing to get out of there. Whenever LJ started up on an Alexis rant, it was easier to bail. At least Reece and Nix were out of the house, so they couldn’t gang up on me about her. They didn’t get it and they didn’t want to. Growing up the way I had, there were some people you counted on and some people you didn’t. And she counted on me. Needed me and trusted me. I wouldn’t ditch her because sometimes she had a full-blown case of the sticky fingers. Not like I hadn’t been there when I was younger. Sometimes the hunger pangs were too strong to ignore and the static in my head would get so loud I could barely think straight, but straight enough to slip an apple or a candy bar into my pockets to tide me over on the weekends until I could get lunch again at school.
Stealing wasn’t always about wanting someone else’s stuff, but I wasn’t going to correct them. And it was a reminder that my reality wasn’t one most people had faced. There were people out there with loving families who’d never known what it was like to chug a liter of water to have something in your belly, just so you could fall sleep.
I sat in my car and drummed my fingers against the steering wheel, staring up at the house. Run in, grab my backpack, dump my practice gear, and then meet Jules. I ordered the taxi on my phone. Three minutes.
The street was quiet, not too many people around. The perfect time for someone to be able to slip in unnoticed and leave something sexy behind in the mailbox. I’d just done two hours of hardcore physical activity, and my heart was pumping like I’d just finished a marathon.
Climbing out of my car, I took the steps three at a time and stood on the porch in front of the mailbox. I let out a breath and lifted the lid. The same heart-under-heel disappointment squeezed my chest. It was still there. My note. The one I’d re-written ten times and it hadn’t made a difference. The crushing waves of disappointment only got higher. It would only be a matter of time before I drowned.
Every day with no word from her made the words in her final letter sting that much deeper. It was like losing a connection to someone out there in the world who knew more about me than most people. I’d let her in and now she was shutting me out.
At least heading to this weekend party thing with Jules meant my mailbox wouldn’t be ten feet away, taunting me every time I walked in the door. A few days away would help me clear my head and break the spell TLG had on me—maybe.
8
Jules
It was almost six. I hadn’t wanted to go inside without Berk, mainly so I didn’t chicken out and cancel on him at the last minute. Plus, at least if he were here then I’d have a friendly face in the crowd. Hanging with my mom’s country club cohorts and Laura’s friends wasn’t exactly my comfort zone. Laura had already taken my carry-on suitcase and they’d stashed it somewhere.
The building’s granite and marble historical structure cast a wide shadow over the city street.
“Sorry, I’m late.” Berk walked around from the side of the building. He had a duffle over one arm and a backpack over the other.
The door to the building swung open again and Laura strolled out. Her step faltered for a second when her gaze landed on Berk. “You’re here.” Her smile was tooth-achingly sweet.
A nightmare scenario ran through my head. One where she spent her entire engagement weekend pretending to be the perfect, beautiful sister, and I caught her and Berk making out in an alcove somewhere.
Or worse, in intense conversation filled with laughter and any excuse to touch one another like the thought of being physically separated hurt. And they’d pull me aside and tell me that she was calling off her engagement because she and Berk just clicked. He’d say neither of them expected this to happen, but sometimes these things come from the most unexpected places. And then she’d throw in that it wasn’t like Berk and I would’ve lasted, and I should be happy that she’d finally found the one—again. I should be happy she wasn’t with Chet anymore—and she’d give me her full blessing to have him back.
Now it felt like my shield might’ve had a secret self-destruct button I hadn’t known about.