For a split second, I thought about saying the call had been dropped just to squeeze in a little more Berk time now that I wasn’t avoiding him. Then guilt pitted in my stomach. What kind of sister did that make me?
“Hey, Laura, what’s up?”
“Can I come over to your place?”
For a stunned minute, I lifted the phone from my ear and stared at it.
“Hello?” Her small, tinny voice escaped the phone.
“I’m here. Sure you can come over.” I motioned to my house and Berk nodded, waving and taking off to his side of the street.
“I’ll be there in five.”
Was something wrong with Mom? Laura never came over—well, except for that one time before the engagement party. I hadn’t even known she knew where I lived.
I barely had time to put my bag down before she knocked on the door. Had she been waiting around the corner? I opened it and she barged in, wringing her hands and looking disheveled. Disheveled for her, which would be supremely polished by anyone else’s standards.
“Laura, what the hell is going on? You’re freaking me out.” Was she going to call off the wedding? Suddenly had the crashing realization that she’d been a jackass to me my entire life? Just wanted to go out to lunch?
“Chet wants roses in the wedding.” She paced like he’d said he wanted to club baby seals during the reception.
“And that’s a problem?” I kicked the door closed and crossed my arms over my chest.
She threw her hands up. “Of course, it’s a problem. We’re supposed to be having peonies. Shades of pink peonies. But roses will ruin everything. They’re trite and expected. This is supposed to be a trendsetting wedding. We need peonies.”
And here I’d thought it was something serious. “They won’t ruin everything. I’m sure the florist Mom has working it will make sure everything is perfect.”
“He squeezes his toothpaste from the middle. And he leaves the milk out on the counter every time he uses it.”
“Like a monster.”
She stopped and faced me. “Thank you! I tried to tell Kaitlin, Gretchen, and Beth about it and they blew it off.”
“That was a joke. It seems like you’re freaking out over nothing. Or stuff you should talk to him about.”
“There’s two months until the wedding.” She looked down at the couch before perching on the edge like she was afraid she’d catch something from it. Honestly, I didn’t blame her. If I lifted the fitted cover I’d bought for it, she’d probably have an out of body experience.
“I thought you were getting married in the spring.”
“Mom moved it. Discussed it with Chet and changed the date. The mayor’s daughter is getting married in the spring and Mom doesn’t want to compete for attention.”
“Of course she doesn’t.” My eye roll was barely contained. “But it’s your wedding. Why don’t you tell her no?”
She tilted her head and stared at me with a look that only people who’d been in the trenches of childhood together could share.
In the grand scheme of things this wasn’t a big problem—it was barely a problem—but when had Laura ever had to deal with anything real? When hadn’t Mom and even Dad been there, brushing aside even the most minor inconveniences to make her happy? So I could see how in her head this was like flunking out of a semester or having someone smash into your brand new car.
“Right.” I nodded. “It’s not something I can help with. I’m surprised she sent me an invitation at all.”
“You’re used to her being mad at you all the time. How do you talk to her?” She looked to me as though I had any answers when it came to Mom.
“I don’t, not unless she forces me. You’re the favorite. You should be able to tell her what you want.”
Her humorless laugh summed that up. “Her favorite as long as I do everything she wants. For my senior prom I told her I preferred a different dress over the one she picked. She didn’t talk to me for two months and cancelled all my credit cards.”
“What? No way.” That was my sophomore year. By that time I’d decided steering clear of both Mom and Laura was best for me.
“Yes way. You were too busy hiding out at school and going straight to your room, so you never noticed.”
I sat on the couch beside her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Her cheeks pinked up. “I—I guess I didn’t want you to know.” She clasped her hands on her lap. “It was always me and Mom, and you and Dad. And then once Dad died, it was only Mom, so I felt like I had to keep her happy.”
“There is no happy when it comes to her. At least not that I’ve ever found.”
She made a small sound. “You just have to know what she wants.”
“Everyone and everything to be and do exactly what she wants. I can’t do that anymore. And you shouldn’t either.”
“I don’t have a choice.” She wrung her hands in her lap and looked around my place. It wasn’t much, but hell, I was in college. But compared to the cushy place Mom had put her up in during college, this was probably a half step above a homeless shelter in her mind.
“Of course you do.”
“You’ve always been fine on your own. I’d like to actually have my mom like me,” she snapped. Then her eyes widened and she shot up. “I didn’t mean that, Julia—Jules, I’m sorry. I’m just really stressed out right now.”
I’d never had the wind knocked out of me, but I’d imagine this was what it felt like. A burning in my chest. Hard to catch my breath. And a pain radiating out through my body.
“I shouldn’t have come.” She picked up her bag off the couch.
And just like that, our sisterly bonding disintegrated into a pile of ash, like that tray of cookies I’d baked during finals last year. I’d had to throw the whole cookie sheet away. But I couldn’t do that with my family. They were all I had left. My only connection left to my dad.
19
Berk
Rubbing my towel over my head, I stepped out of the shower. I wiped the steam off the mirror and wrapped a towel around my waist. Weight training sessions sucked ass. It was all the physical exhaustion of being on the field without the benefits of hitting anyone. I wrapped the towel around my waist and opened the bathroom door.
“Berk, hurry up. The game’s starting in twenty minutes,” Keyton called up the stairs.
“I’ll be down in five.” I checked my phone for any texts and threw on a t-shirt and some sweats. Damn, I wanted a beer, but during the season we kept that to a minimum, and only on weekends. This season was the most important one of my life and I wasn’t going to throw it away over partying. Next year, all this would be worth it. Everything in my past would be a distant memory once I finally got the security that came with a seven-figure paycheck. But I still had to get through the season.
At least some of us were already living our dream. I jogged down the steps.
“Should I grill some burgers and hot dogs?” LJ stood at the bottom of the steps.
“A little late now. Reece’s game is starting in less than five minutes.” Fans stood in the stadium waving their team banners. One of us could be playing in that stadium once we were drafted.