A few times throughout the morning I catch Camden’s eye and every time she blushes with a little smirk. I don’t know how we’re going to keep this quiet when I’m dying to grab her in the hallway, pin her up against the nearest lockers and do things to her body. I want every horny son of a bitch roaming these expensive halls to know that Camden Galway is taken.
I’d forgotten all about Kent’s promise to tell me something important until he catches up with me at lunch. I’ve got my lunch tray in hand when he appears and practically pushes me toward a table like we’re dating or something.
“What the hell?” I grumble and find a chair while Kent plops himself down right across from me.
He’s got a giant meatball hero clutched in one hand and the thing looks like it’s been mauled by a bear. He swallows the food in his mouth and becomes serious, a rare mood for him.
“I’ve only got a few minutes. I need to go meet Trina when she’s done dealing with some newspaper shit with Camden.”
He openly scowls when he says Camden’s name and I assume it’s because he’s annoyed that Camden is sucking up Trina’s time. But then he puts his sandwich down.
“Look, Ben. I don’t know what’s going on but I thought you should know that Camden Galway has been pumping Trina for information.”
Suddenly I have an uneasy feeling. “What kind of information?”
“Information about you. Camden knows we’re buddies so she tried to get Trina to question me. Like where do you come from and whether you talk about your past.”
I push my food around with a fork and keep my face neutral. “When did you hear about this?”
“She brought it up yesterday. She made it sound like Camden didn’t mean any harm but I wouldn’t be too quick to trust Camden. Thinks she’s Nancy fucking Drew or something.” He shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m not into beating around the bush. Just seems kind of sketchy to me even if it is obvious that she’s dying to ride your dick.”
My only answer is a grunt. I continue to push the food around my plate. I don’t want to say anything right now. This needs to be straightened out with Camden. The idea that I might have made a mistake in believing she’d drop her investigative reporting hunt is making me feel a little sick. Fuck, I hope I wasn’t wrong about her. I’ve never been this excited about a girl before.
“Wait a minute.” Kent has put some pieces together. “Shit, Ben. You two have had some weird thing going on for a while. Camden already has ridden your dick, hasn’t she?”
This guy doesn’t know how to whisper. I think about stuffing my napkin in his mouth, even at the risk of getting a hockey stick shoved up my ass.
“Would you keep your goddamn voice down?”
“That’s why she’s so hot about finding out your life history. You guys are fucking.” He’s so sure of himself that he’s grinning like a madman. “Come clean, Beltran.”
“Can you quit screaming my business to the entire cafeteria?”
“What? Nobody’s listening. Nobody fucking cares.”
“Hey.” Todd Bellinger materializes out of thin air and sprawls across the table to get in the middle of our conversation. “You guys are talking about Camden Galway, huh?”
“No.” Kent shoves him away. “Now get lost, you dickless wonder.”
Todd glowers but he has no choice but to withdraw. When I’m sure he’s out of earshot I face Kent and speak in a low voice in the hopes he’ll do the same. “We’re not screwing.”
He doesn’t believe me. “Bullshit. Something’s going on.”
I exhale with annoyance. “Yeah, something is going on but I can’t talk about it yet.”
“Why not?”
“Because I told her I wouldn’t and I’d rather not fuck this up. Come on, you’ve got a girlfriend. Can’t you get that?”
A few seconds pass while Kent thinks about it and then he nods. “Yeah. I do get it.”
“Great, let’s talk about something else.”
Kent rips off a massive hunk of his sandwich and chews for a while. When he swallows he’s got some questions.
“Hey Ben, we’re friends, right?”
I have no idea what he’s getting at. “You looking for a promise ring or something?”
“All right, so let’s just say we’re friends. But you know what? I don’t know the answers to any of those questions Camden was asking. Which is kind of weird.”
I should have seen this coming. If you’re around people long enough then eventually it’ll dawn on them that they don’t know much about you. I can’t solve this in the school cafeteria and I don’t try. I shovel my lunch into my mouth and let my silence speak for itself.
Kent isn’t pushy enough to force the issue. He switches topics and begins ranting about hockey. When Corby King scoots over and joins the conversation I’m free to just sit and listen.
There’s nothing thrilling happening in the latter part of the day, except now my head throbs with irritating tension. Camden is only in one of my afternoon classes and then I don’t see her again before the last bell. Even though I know I’ll be seeing her later I try to hunt her down in the midst of the after school pandemonium. I’m still aggravated by the idea that she might have been snooping behind my back after promising that she wouldn’t. We need to talk.
After ten minutes I need to give up the search or I’ll be late for the bus and late for work.
The bus is right on time and I take the same seat I occupied this morning with Camden. My mood isn’t as great as it was seven hours ago. I hate this shit. I hate the sham of my life. I’m sick of it all, sick of pretending to be someone who isn’t even fucking real. In a juvenile move I punch the back of the seat in front of me. It doesn’t even hurt and I want it to hurt. But I can’t sit here punching the furniture until my knuckles bleed or I’ll probably get kicked off the bus.
The bus is pulling away from the curb when I happen to look up and I’m startled to see Camden. She’s just standing there in the middle of the snowy courtyard, still as a statue, her arms crossed, her posture stiff. And even though I can’t clearly see the expression on her face I’m sure of one very perplexing fact as she stares straight at me.
She’s absolutely furious.
Camden
So this is what it’s like.
To really connect with a guy and constantly look ahead to the next time you get to see him. Over the years I’ve had crushes. I’ve had school dance dates and brief flings and inconsequential hookups. But nothing compares to the way I’m falling hard and fast for Ben Beltran.
In class I’m useless for the entire day. I daydream and scrawl heart shaped doodles and remain extremely aware of Ben’s presence whenever we’re in the same room. It’s a testament to my willpower that I manage to stop myself from climbing into his lap and treating the class to a sex ed lesson.
Halfway through the morning I have an epiphany.
I’m going to lose my virginity to Ben the first chance I get.
Lunch is spent in the newsroom. The last issue of the year goes digitally live in the morning and even though I’ve got the layout memorized I want to conduct one more proofread before the meeting after school. But neither my heart nor my head are invested in the task and I keep rereading the same sentences over and over without comprehending what they mean.